More Than a Spiritual Snack

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Joy

What kind of snacker are you: Savory or Sweet? Do chips and salsa call your name as you graze toward salty nuts, pizza and something with a kick of heat? Or are you lulled by softer fare like melt-in-your-mouth doughnuts, cookies, candy, and anything baring chocolate? Not all of us are “open” snackers. Some of us try to repress our snacking urges as much as possible. But we’ve all had our moments of weakness when we needed a sugar fix or couldn’t say no to the spicy wing (it’s not our fault it had dipping sauce).

Snacks are everywhere.

They’re quick. They’re cheap. They’re delicious. They’re our comfort food in times of distress. But most snacks have no real nutritional value. That’s why mothers make kids eat green beans and broccoli. It’s not a torture tactic–it’s a provision of “life-sustaining” food with enzymes, vitamins, and nutrients to nourish their bodies and help them grow strong.

Physical health and spiritual health are based on the same premise.

To be healthy physically, we have to feed our bodies with nutritious foods that can sustain us. Even if we’re not athletes, we can’t live on a diet of soda and cupcakes for very long. What if we tried? Exhaustion would take over as we crashed from the sugar high or slumped into a food coma. Even basic tasks would be harder and harder as our energy waned. Over time, we’d get frustrated and even depressed. Eventually we’d feel disconnected and lose motivation to do anything. Our senses would dull as our mental clarity darkened. It’s not a pretty picture.

The same is true with spiritual health.

To be healthy spiritually, we need a steady diet of life-giving nourishment. What fills our spirit and gives life to our soul? God’s Word. Scripture. How? God’s Word has power. Not only did God create life through His words, He sustains life through His Word. God’s Word is living and active. God uses His Word to breathe new life into hopeless situations. He shines His light into darkness through His Word. He brings peace in the midst of chaos through His Word.

If we humbly seek God through His Word we’ll be nourished spiritually. We can have strength like never before when we stand in His strength. Our empty places can be filled. Our brokenness can be healed. Our stains of the past can be washed away. We can be filled to overflowing with the power of His Holy Spirit as He encourages us, teaches us, emboldens us, and works through us. God’s Word gives life to the weary soul, and the bounty has been set before us.

But few of us feast on the Word of God.

We may nibble here and there. We may take a handful on Sunday mornings and hope it lasts us the week. We may read a devotional interpretation of what God said, but never really take hold of the truth spoken by God Himself. Or sadly, we may never taste the richness of God’s Word. We may never receive the spiritual nourishment that gives life. True life that will never fade away.

Are you feasting on the spiritually solid Word of God? Or are you grabbing a few pieces on Sunday morning and hoping it will sustain you for the week? Or are you starving your soul and snacking on everything but the Word of God?

Try something new. Today, instead of filling up on snacks like TV, Facebook or magazines, open God’s Word to the Book of John and read a chapter or two. Taste it. Chew on it. Really think about what it says. Pray to God and ask Him to reveal Himself to you in a new way. Give God the opportunity to nourish your spirit through His Word.

“The Spirit alone gives eternal life… And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life.” John 6:63 (NLT)

May I pray?

Jesus, we love to fill up on all kinds of things that have little value to our spiritual health. They may make us feel good at first. But over time, they wear us down. We become numb and weary, and they don’t fill us up the way they used to. But often, the last thing we want to do is turn to Your Word for nourishment. Today, please help us to make a different choice. Lord, I pray that Your Holy Spirit will meet us wherever we are and speak to us through Your Word. May we get a taste of what it feels like to be spiritually strong as we hear Your wisdom and truth. In Your holy name I pray. Amen.

Q4U: What has helped you spend more time in God’s Word and less time snacking on things like TV, Facebook and magazines?

Big Encouragement in Small Packages

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Joy

Have you ever gotten one of those “inspirational” chain emails that says, “Make sure you read through to the end!”? I’m all about trying to encourage others with something funny or inspirational. But the problem I have with most chain emails is that they ruin the warm fuzzy feelings as soon as I read the last line: “If you’re really a good friend, send this to 10 other people and the person who sent it to you so they know how much you care.” What?

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but why do we have to have messages like that?

It’s not fair for some email to say we’re not a good friend just because we’re one of the 7% who won’t forward it. That’s crazy. So what do I do? If I really like the message, I delete the last section and send it out. But never to 10 people.

Whether or not we forward chain emails, most of us enjoy inspirational phrases. They wrap big encouragement in small packages. Sometimes they’re quotes from famous speeches, sometimes proverbs, and sometimes just funny quips that make you chuckle.

Like what we see on refrigerator magnets.

Here’s a favorite by William W. Purkey:

You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.

If we could actually do these things, it would be heaven on earth. Until someone heard me sing. Recently, I saw a similar quote that added, “Work like you don’t need money.” Personally, I’d rather not work like I don’t need money. But that’s just me.

In honor of “Laugh Out Loud Day” (yes, I made that up), today I thought we could have a light-hearted day sharing some of our favorite quotes and phrases. Here are a few to start us off…

One of the greatest pleasures in life is doing what people say can’t be done.

Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on this long.

If God is your co-pilot, switch seats!

“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” Bil Keane

Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the door forever.

Laughter is the best medicine.

The obstacle before us is never as great as the Power behind us.

And here is my new all-time favorite:

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Life is full of storms. They come and they go. Some will stay way too long. But if we can learn to laugh and dance in the midst of them, it will be like heaven on earth. So let’s get out there and dance a funky dance in the rain!

And remember, dance like no one’s watching.

“But for you who revere My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.” Malachi 4:2

May I pray?

Father God, thank you for the gift of humor. Help us today to step back from the seriousness of life and let ourselves laugh out loud. Lord, we know the storms of life all too well. Many of us have been in them for a very long time. Be with us as we struggle through the swirling dark clouds. Protect us. Comfort us. Strengthen us. And Lord, will You help us learn to dance in the rain? May we dance for an Audience of One. Amen.

Q4U: What are some of your favorite quotes or phrases?

The 3 C’s of Rising Above

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Joy

Have you ever felt like you were stuck? Stuck because you agreed to something you didn’t really want to do? Stuck because decisions you made had consequences you didn’t anticipate? Stuck because circumstances or the decisions of others were out of your control and you couldn’t go in the direction you thought was right? You wanted something different. You were ready for change. You needed to move forward. But you were stuck.

Maybe you feel that way now. Or know someone who does.

Most of us at one time or another have felt stuck. The mud pits of life are notorious for sucking us in and holding us tight. We struggle to the point of exhaustion. And we’re ready to give up because we don’t see any hope of breaking free. We sink down, alone and weary, wondering how we got to this place.

Regardless of why we’re stuck, we don’t have to stay stuck. It’s time to rise up and get on solid ground. How? The 3 C’s of Rising Above.

1. Courage. We don’t think about courage much unless we’re talking about people serving in the military or watching the cowardly lion sing his famous ballad in the Wizard of Oz. Few of us feel courageous. What is courage? According to the dictionary, it’s facing or dealing with anything that’s dangerous, difficult, or painful–instead of running away. Whether or not we feel courageous, many of us display courage every day. We have to. But there’s a different definition of courage I like even more. Terri Guillemets says, “Courage is tiny pieces of fear all glued together.” We all have fear, and that’s okay. That’s normal. It’s what we do with our fear that makes the difference. So instead of letting fear overtake us, let’s face one fear at a time and cut it down to size. Then we can take all those tiny pieces of fear and start gluing them together. With each piece we add, we’re a little bit stronger. We see things a little bit clearer. We rise above our real life and begin breaking free of our fears. It may not happen overnight. But it will happen. Piece by piece. Step by step. And never doubt: You are courageous. You’ve made it this far.

2. Consistency. Change is hard. Whether we’re trying to move in a completely new direction or just do things differently so we get a different result, it’s not easy. One of the most important factors of enacting change as we rise above real life is consistency. What do I mean? Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Keep going. Finish strong, even if we didn’t start out that way. I heard recently that consistency is starting over a thousand times. Diet, exercise, saving money, reading the Bible, turning from temptations. Whatever it is that we want to change. But we keep messing up. We feel like we failed. We get discouraged. So let’s start over. Again. And again. And again. As many times as it takes. Each time we learn something about why it’s so hard for us. We learn what to do differently or what to avoid. If we stick with it, if we don’t give up, we can get to that place of victory. Whether it’s changing something significant in our life or just reaching a personal goal, rarely do we get what we hoped for on the first try. Or second. That’s okay. Start again. It’s never too late.

3. Counsel. We can’t do it alone. We can’t rise above real life by ourselves. We need at least one trusted friend, a wise counselor, to walk with us. Throughout life. Good times and bad. The people we turn to for counsel may change over time. But we always need to have at least one person that we can be completely open and honest with. Someone who holds us accountable. Someone we promise to go to in times of doubt, fear, anger, and temptation. Before our feelings become a tornado inside of us. Seek out someone whose wisdom is based on a solid understanding of God’s Word and His strength offered to us. When we stand firm on the Rock of Christ we allow God to work in us to transform our life. Wise counsel grounded in God’s Word can help us stay on solid ground.

The 3 C’s of Rising Above: Courage, Consistency, Counsel.

Face fear. Keep going. Walk together. And know that you will never be the same again as you rise above the past and present, and move forward to new life ahead.

“I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2

May I pray?

God, it’s hard to face our fears. It’s hard to pick ourselves up over and over to start again. And many of us don’t feel like we have someone we can turn to for wise counsel. Father, help us to come to You today in prayer and Your Word so we can hear from You. Help us to piece together our fears so we can stand courageously. Grant us the strength to keep going, even when we make mistakes. And please, Lord, bless us with close friendships so we can begin walking our journey together in sisterhood. Amen.

Q4U: What is the hardest C for you: Courage, Consistency or Counsel?

Beauty Secret #27–Burn Off Bitterness

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Joy

Do you ever scan magazine covers when you’re waiting in line at the grocery or convenience store? It’s hard not to. The headlines grab us–who’s in, who’s out, who’s this week’s hottest scandal. Even for those of us not following the gossip train, it’s almost impossible to not look and see what we’re missing.

And then there are the beauty secrets.

All the magazines have them. How to have fab abs. How to lose 10 pounds in a week by eating watermelon. How to have youthful, glowing skin without spending a fortune. If it was free advice on healthy living, and if it was true, who wouldn’t want to know these things? Lots of “if’s”, but still. Inquiring minds want to know real beauty secrets.

So here’s one: How To Release The #1 Stressor That Ages Us Faster Than Sun Exposure.

And the good news is that you don’t have to buy a magazine to get the answer. It’s Beauty Secret #27: Burn Off Bitterness.

Bitterness is something we want to purge. It’s like a cancer that slowly eats away at us from the inside out. Bitterness takes root in our mind and soul, and then it spreads. And it begins affecting every aspect of our lives. Bitterness dictates how we feel and interact with other people. It can sour our thoughts about ourselves. It takes a physical toll on our bodies through stress, anxiety and continual unrest (aka lack of peace).

What causes bitterness? Bitterness brews in feelings of resentment. We’ve been wronged. We’ve been hurt. And the person who did this isn’t suffering the way we are. Or they aren’t suffering the way we think they should. Bitterness festers inside of us and morphs into anger, extreme disappointment, and dissatisfaction.

We have to burn off bitterness before it consumes us.

How? The first step is to recognize we’re harboring bitterness. The other day I saw my friend and said, “Hey, how are you?” Her response, “I’m a seething volcano of bitterness. How are you?” Well, at least that’s a start. She got it out by being honest that bitterness was taking root.

The second step to burn off bitterness is to let go. Let go of the anger. Let go of the resentment. Let go of the need to see the other person suffer like we have. These bitterness burdens weigh us down and send acid through our veins. We need to break the chains that bind us and let go of the past. We don’t have to forget what happened. But we can’t be imprisoned by it anymore. The truth is that our bitterness is eating away at us and killing our joy. It’s not doing anything to the other person.

The hard part of letting go is forgiving the other person. Again, this doesn’t mean forgetting. It means putting them in the hands of God and saying, “God, You deal with them in Your timing and Your way.” This was hard for me to do. Until I realized that the wrath of Almighty God would be far better than anything I could come up with. Of course, I’d like to be there watching as wrath poured down. But even if that person seems to prosper, I know that everyone faces the Judgment Seat at the end of their life and will have to answer for their deeds. That means them. That means me and you. So just as Christ has forgiven us and allowed us to enter the presence of Holy God, so too we have to let go of our bitterness and forgive others. God will step in and take over as He sees fit.

The final step to burn off bitterness is to march forward in life as if we’re power walking to the coffee shop four blocks away (or the chocolate shop in my case). We’re free! We’re no longer drowning in a sea of bitterness. We’re no longer chained to the past. We can truly rise above our circumstances and continue on our journey toward new life. That other person no longer has a hold on us because we’ve let go. We put that person in the hands of God and we’ve dropped our feelings of bitterness, anger and resentment. Pump those arms and work up a sweat marching forward. Feel the burn!

Beauty Secret #27–Burn off Bitterness. Get it out (acknowledge it). Let go and forgive. March forward with God’s power. Rejoice as you burn off the bitterness!

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

May I pray?

Lord, we’re not always aware of the bitterness we’re holding onto. Then one day our feelings explode and we realize bitterness has been brewing inside of us and wearing us down. Father, show us today any bitterness that may be taking root in our life. Help us to get it out and let go. Help us to forgive as You have forgiven. Not because we have to forget what happened, but to release any grip the bitterness has on us by keeping our minds trapped in the past. Lead us forward in Your strength as we break free once and for all and burn off the bitterness. Amen.

Q4U: What is an area of bitterness that is or has been the hardest for you to burn off?

Thunderstorms that Rock the House

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Joy

Do you like thunderstorms? Some people chase them. Some are terrified of them. Me, I love them. I love the deep rolls of thunder that you not only hear but you feel down in your soul. I love watching the powerful bursts of lightning pierce the night sky. I count the seconds between the lightning and thunder to know how far off the storm is (one mile for every five seconds I’ve been told).

Even if we love them, we learn at a very young age that thunderstorms warrant caution.

They can be a precursor to something much more destructive, like tornadoes. Here in the Midwest, kids are taught that if they hear wind that sounds like a train they should run to the safe part of the house.

Thunderstorms can also be an inconvenience, especially if you have to vacate the pool because of lightning. A couple of weeks ago my friend was taking his kids to a water park. There was a good chance of thunderstorms. His son, who’s 7, asked, “Dad, do angels have bowling tonight?” Puzzled, my friend said he wasn’t sure and asked why. His son replied, “Because that’s what gives us thunderstorms!”

Who knew?

Whether it’s bowling night or not, thunderstorms can pop up without much warning. And they can be violent. Thunder may shake the windows and lightning may hit nearby. Winds may blow the trees horizontally. Rains may pour down in sheets we can’t see through. But if we’re watching the storm from a house with a solid foundation, we don’t need to fear. We’re protected. We’re shielded from the wrath of the storm. We have a covering around us that will take the brunt of the storm and keep us dry and safe.

The same is true as we go through the storms of life.

We’re as secure as the foundation we’ve built on. Are we building on shifting sands? Do our emotions influence what we believe from day to day or month to month? Do our choices change based on who we’re with?

Or do we have a faith built on the immovable and unchanging Rock of Jesus Christ? Do we have a covering that protects us from destruction as storms pass through? Are we standing firm on God’s Word and truth?

It’s never too late to start building a new foundation that can withstand the storms of life. Storms will come. Let’s get ready for them.

“Everyone who hears these words of Mine and puts them into practice is like a wise [woman] who built [her] house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” Matthew 7:24-25

May I pray?

Jesus, only You can save us from the turmoil and destruction of life’s storms. Some of us have endured violent storms of life already. Some of us feel the swirling winds around us now. Some of us see the dark clouds starting to form. No matter what our current situation, the truth is that storms will come. Our foundation will be tested. Our faith, if we have one, will be tried. We don’t want our life to be shattered. We want a solid foundation. We want to persevere and overcome. Help us, please, to learn how to turn to You in every storm. Teach us how to find You in Your Word. Teach us how to build upon the solid Rock of Jesus Christ today. Amen.

Q4U: What are some ways we can build our foundation on the Rock?

Forgotten Dreams

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Joy

Many of us have endured the pangs of despair and heavy sorrow from shattered hopes and dreams. If this is where you are today, my heart goes out to you. I am truly sorry that you’re in pain. Please know that you’re not alone. I’ve walked this path before you, and I’m here to walk the path again–with you.

Forgotten Dreams

The sun is setting on another day;
darkness will soon overshadow.
How long ago was it that I smiled and dreamed
about the life I had hoped to know.

Two hearts, two lives, two molded into one;
the future was lively and pleasing.
But it all fades away with the passing of time
and letting go of those dreams is not easy.

Day after day, the whirlwind of life
continues to pull tears to my cheek.
And I brush them away, hoping no one will see
the residue of the salty streak.

I have made many choices, some good and some bad,
and though struggling I will survive.
But my dreams, they’re lost, my heart, it’s bare,
and I no longer feel alive.

Two hearts, two lives, two molded into one;
the future was happy and pleasing.
But it all fades away with the passing of time
and letting go of those dreams is not easy.

Take me my prince to the castle of my dreams
where princesses laugh and play.
Let me remember the touch of your hand;
let me remember you each day.

So now it’s goodbye, but how my heart aches,
and each moment an eternity it seems.
My prince, my love, my neighbor, my friend,
I wish you and I had shared dreams.

Two hearts, two lives, two molded into one;
now one stands alone and broken.
But it all fades away with the passing of time
and my dreams will someday be forgotten.

I originally wrote Forgotten Dreams many years ago as I stumbled under the crushing reality of divorce. At that time, I had little hope. For anything. I had no understanding of redeemed life. I shuffled through each dark day not knowing how to bear the shame, brokenness and desperation of a life gone wrong. I was alone and in agony. And my life spiraled out of control for several years.

Then I met Jesus.

Before this, I had heard of Jesus. I knew who He was. I read about Him and prayed to Him. I knew OF Him. But I didn’t really KNOW Him. One day, all of that changed. I met someone who was on fire for the Lord and he told me about having a personal relationship with Jesus. Jesus knew where I was. He knew where I had been. And He loved me anyway. He wanted me to come to Him. Just as I was. No need to wait. No need to change before taking His hand. He called. I answered. And my life was never the same again.

Healing the wounds and brokenness of the past took time. But I was made whole again. My old dreams were replaced with new ones. For the first time in my life I had hope of a genuinely good tomorrow. And I lived with the assurance that I will spend eternity with my Savior.

You too can find rest and hope in the Lord. Climb up on the Rock of Jesus Christ. Take His hand and let Him lift you up. Go to Him in prayer, seek Him in His Word, and start to truly KNOW Him. Your life will never be the same again. And your new dreams won’t be forgotten.

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:5-6

May I pray?

God, shattered hopes and forgotten dreams scar our hearts and take away our desires. The loss of someone we love through breakup, divorce or death tears us apart. Father, I ask a blessing upon my sisters who are struggling in this place of despair today. Even now, as we pray, I ask that Your hand would comfort them as You fill them with a peace beyond understanding. May they have the courage to come to You today and let it all out. Jesus, please hold them tight and give them the hope for a genuinely good tomorrow. Amen.

Q4U: Do you have a story of found hope that you’d be willing to share with others who are struggling?

My Day as a Race Car Driver

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Joy

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? In kindergarten, my teacher had each student make a “book” of pictures we drew showing three things we dreamed of being when we got older. My three? A cowgirl–because I loved horses. A truck driver–because I loved the idea of traveling (or maybe it was the loud horn). And a professional football player–what can I say? I was Daddy’s girl.

My dreams changed in my teen years and I found the perfect new future vocation: professional race car driver. I never had any formal training, but I did my best to practice racing skills on the highways around town. Unfortunately, the police didn’t appreciate my dedication to the sport. All of the tickets proved it.

Finally came the day when I was given the chance to suit up and show my stuff at Atlanta Motor Speedway. My belief was confirmed.

I was born to drive!

As part of a racing school, my average lap speed was 154.5 miles per hour. Second fastest in my class (yes, I beat all of the boys but one)! And suddenly I had a new appreciation for a sport I knew very little about. NASCAR racing. Did you know that race car drivers can easily lose 10-15 pounds of water weight during one race because of how much they sweat? It was like being in a furnace as I raced around the track. The engine and friction of the tires generated enormous heat (on top of the sun beating down on the track). And not only was the heat draining, but all of my strength poured into cranking and holding the steering wheel on the high embankments as I sped around the curves trying not to crash into the wall. Lap after lap my adrenaline pulsed. Competitive me raced for the fastest time possible. Daring me continually assessed the fine line between speeding around each curve and meeting the high wall face to face.

What a rush!

Before this, I scoffed at watching races on TV. After all, the cars are just going around in circles. But now I can attest: there is nothing boring about racing in circles at top speed! Racing is about pushing the limits and fighting for the prize. It doesn’t matter what happened the lap before. It doesn’t matter who crashed behind you, who’s trying to push you out of position, or who is currently blocking your path. The goals are the same: Do the best that you can and be a part of the final sprint to the finish.

Our lives are like racing on the track.

Sometimes we may feel like we’re going around in circles. The scenery and circumstances may never change. We may get sideswiped, banged up, and have major altercations with other drivers. And that’s okay. It’s part of the race. What’s important is that we turn back around and keep the pedal to the metal. We keep going. We finish our race with pizzazz. We keep our eye on the prize.

In life, that prize is meeting our Lord in heaven and being able to answer, “Yes, I did my best. I did what You called me to do. I raced hard. I finished strong. And I brought others to the after-party with me.”

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

May I pray?

Father God, our lives are not always as exciting as driving a race car around a track at break-neck speed. There are times that we’re weary and hot and sick of going around in circles. But Lord, You promise us that when we get to the finish line, it will all be worth it. If we’ll forget the collisions of the past and continue to press on toward You, our prize will be more than we could ever imagine. And what an after-party it will be! Father, help us to enjoy today as if it was a victory lap. And may we encourage someone else to start their own race as part of Your racing team. Amen.

Q4U: When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up, and why?

Drive Life’s Highway–Eyes on the Road

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Joy

What was it like when you learned to drive? Did you have to take a Driver’s Ed course? Did a parent or family member sit in the passenger seat barking out instructions–one after another–until you were ready to pull the car over just so they would stop? Was there an older sister in the back seat constantly yelling, “Watch out!” (Maybe that was just me.)

My mom was actually very patient. She made it as easy as possible by repeating the same thing, “Keep two hands on the wheel and keep your eyes on the road.” “That was good Joy, but two hands on the wheel and eyes on the road.” “Ok now don’t forget, eyes on the road.” “Eyes on the road.” “Eyes on the road!” Alright already!

Certainly there’s a lot to learn about driving a car. Including the proper use of rear view mirrors. They’re handy gadgets that help us switch lanes and see who’s coming up behind us. Hopefully no flashing blue lights. Rear view mirrors can even be converted into traveling makeup mirrors. Don’t worry Mom, not while the car is moving.

Yes, rear view mirrors are very useful. They provide a perspective of where we’ve been. They help us see who’s around us. They give us a glimpse of ourselves for a makeup check. But we won’t get very far down the road if all we do is stare into the rear view mirror.

The same is true as we drive life’s highway.

We have to keep our eyes on the road if we want to continue moving forward. Whether we’re going fast and furious or we’re out for a leisurely drive, we won’t get anywhere accident-free if all we do is look behind us or at our own reflection.

Is it important to see where we’ve already been? Of course it is. Our past history is a part of our story. But it’s just that–history. It’s behind us. We can learn from it but we can’t change it. So no reason to fixate on it. We can’t move forward if we’re constantly looking back. Keep two hands on the wheel and eyes on the road ahead. And no U-turns.

Do we need to be watchful of who’s around us? Absolutely. Some people will speed by and some we’ll pass. Some will weave in and out of our life. There will be others who stay next to us for many miles. It’s important to know where others are and stay alert as we switch lanes and take new roads. But it’s always with the goal of continuing forward.

What about turning the mirror so we can check our makeup? A distraction. If we’re so concerned about looking good for the drive, we won’t be focused on what’s happening around us or the dangers in front of us. We need to take our eyes off our circumstances and ourselves, and turn them back toward what lies ahead.

It’s time to adjust our focus.

We’re on the road again. Maybe a speed bump slowed us down. Maybe a fender bender. Maybe a multi-car collision. Now that’s behind us and we’re moving forward. It’s okay to check the rear view mirror as we drive life’s highway. But the direction we’re going and what lies ahead are far more important. Ask any race car driver (more on this tomorrow). Eyes on the road!

“Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.” Proverbs 4:25

May I pray?

Lord Jesus, we spend a lot of time looking in our rear view mirrors. Sometimes we’re consumed with what happened in the past. Sometimes we’re more interested in who’s around us than what’s up ahead. Sometimes we’re more concerned with how we look right now than where we’re going to end up if we stay on our current course. Lord, please help us to take our eyes off the rear view mirror and look at what’s in front of us. Helps us to fix our eyes on You and move forward towards You, even if we’re not sure where the road leads. Amen.

Q4U: What’s one of your craziest car stories, either as a driver or passenger?

The Struggling Worm

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Joy

Have you ever gone to a bridal shower, baby shower or other gathering and you have to play a game to get to know the other people at the party? Personally, I hate those games (ok, maybe “hate” is too strong a word–how about “dread”). I went to one of those parties recently. The game required everyone to write down something about themselves that no one else knew. Then the “mom-to-be” had to guess who wrote each one. It’s like the girls giving the party knew we all had deep dark secrets and they were using this event as a way to trick us (or guilt us) into revealing them. Otherwise we’d come off as anti-social.

I’d like to rebel against games like this.

At the risk of seeming boring I want to write something like, “I was born on a Tuesday.” That would be my way of saying, “No deep dark secrets here!” Of course by now you probably know that’s not true (the part about no secrets, not about being born on Tuesday–I actually have no idea what day of the week I was born, although I’m sure there’s an app for that). So in order to feed the need for personal dirt without revealing anything juicy, I wrote, “I used to have an eight-foot long pet boa constrictor named Fluffy.” It’s true.

A few weeks later, I was walking my dogs. It was early morning and sprinklers had been running in many of the yards. Suddenly I knew what I should write next time as my “secret”:

When I see worms that have been flushed out of the grass by rain or sprinklers, and they’re struggling to get to the grass on the other side of the sidewalk before they dry out and die, I pick them up and put them in the grass.

The perfect “secret” that would certainly make everyone second-guess playing that “game of secrets” ever again! Or they might decide to play the game but not invite me. In any case, at my last party with this game when the worm secret was revealed as mine, I would be asked: Why?

Why do I pick up worms to save them from almost certain death?

So on my early morning walk, I wondered. Is it because I like to root for the underdog? Is it because my conscience won’t let me walk by something that I could save without helping, even if it’s just a worm? Is it because I’d want someone to stop and help me (not that I believe I’ll ever be a worm, but you know what I mean)?

My final answer? It’s all of these.

I shout for the kid who isn’t as good as the others but still has the courage to stay on the field and try his hardest. I’m a sucker for all of the people-helping-people shows on TV, and usually I’ve soaked several kleenex by the end of the “reveal”. I’ll pull gum off someone’s shoe, tell a stranger they have a sticker on their back, and stop along the sidewalk to pick up struggling worm after struggling worm and move them to the grass before they die.

Why? Because it’s the right thing to do. Because I’d want someone to do it for me. And because I want to be different than others in our I’m-too-busy-and-too-important world who are unwilling to stop and do the little things.

The little things we do for others can make a big difference in their lives. And ours.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12

May I pray?

God, thank you for the many people who have blessed each one of us in one way or another by doing little things for us. Please help us today to do something special for someone else. Whether it’s opening a door, helping someone with a heavy bag, or even just smiling and saying hello to someone who looks sad. Father, please give us the opportunity today, and move in our hearts to give us the nudge to do it. May our little things add up to be a big day of blessing for others. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Q4U 1: Yes, it’s the dreaded one: What is one thing about you that no one else knows?

Or Q4U 2: What is a little thing someone did for you that had a big impact on your day or even your life?

Living in the Middle–Addiction Shadows

Posted on January 19, 2012 by Joy

Have you ever known someone struggling with addiction? My experience is that they often laugh it off or minimize its affect on them. Even our society doesn’t seem to think some addictions are all that serious. Workaholic? At least they’re being productive. Addicted to sex? Who cares as long as he can still perform on the golf course? Alcoholic? What’s so bad about a night of drinking if you don’t drive? What’s the big deal?

Of course, the very nature of addiction is that the person is giving themselves up to something that consumes them. Something that consumes their life. Their thoughts and actions are centered in desire. Take the edge off. Add a little spice to life. Look successful.

Often it’s not the person who has the addiction that sees the need for help. It’s the ones trying to live with them. It’s hard to confront someone with an addiction because it becomes an all out war. And it’s hard to tell others because many don’t understand or won’t get involved. Some blame it on us. Some are fueling the addiction.

We stay with people struggling with addiction because we love them. But living in the shadows of addiction can become a very dark and lonely place.

We don’t want to call them addicts because that labels them and sounds inherently bad. And they’re not bad people. When they’re themselves. The way they used to be. But the truth is that someone struggling with addiction–someone going back to the source of that addiction–is an addict. Even if they believe they can stop at any time. Even if we believe it’s not that bad. The continual secrecy, lies and relapses confirm they’re addicted. They are an addict.

Many addicts swing from extremes of being the hero and the victim. It’s all about them. And they’re persuasive.

As the hero, they need to feel important and in control, and they may try to convince us that we need them. They say things like, “Look what I’ve done for you. Good thing I keep saving you. You couldn’t do this without me.” And we believe it.

As the victim, they often project their failures or shortcomings on us, as if the hardships caused by their addiction are our fault. We’ll hear things like, “Look what you’ve done to me! You’ve caused “this” to happen. You’re trying to make me relapse.” We feel ashamed that we’ve made them feel this way and we try to make it up to them. And sometimes as the victim, they keep us connected by saying they love us and we deserve better so they’re letting us go. But of course we can’t leave.

Living in the middle between an addict’s extremes of hero and victim can tear us apart.

Their intense emotions drain us, confuse us, and beat us down. The swings between hero and victim keep us going in circles until we don’t know what’s true anymore. We don’t know what to believe. We don’t know where to turn. And trying to leave the relationship can be like pouring gas on an open flame. It explodes! Most addicts have more than one addictive tendency, and often relationships become an addiction. They want us when they want us. If they can’t get in touch with us they incessantly call and text, and eventually try to hunt us down.

There is no easy answer if we’re in a relationship of any kind with someone struggling with addiction. But the first step is always to seek help.

We can’t heal them or change them. But we can offer to go with them, as long as we keep ourselves safe and hold onto truth in the process. They can only be helped if they truly want help.

If you’re living in the middle now with someone who’s struggling with addiction, you don’t have to stay in the shadows. You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Reach out. Confide in a trusted friend or talk to a pastor or counselor. Know that you have not caused the addiction. And you don’t have to keep it a secret. There are many of us who have been on this road before. Many of us who are on a similar road now. Take courage and hold onto hope. God can heal those who want to be healed, no matter where they are today. And He wants you to live in peace.

“I have seen what they do, but I will heal them anyway! I will lead them. I will comfort those who mourn, bringing words of praise to their lips. May they have abundant peace, both near and far,” says the LORD, who heals them.” Isaiah 57:18-19 (NLT)

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, today I pray for my sisters and brothers who are in the shadows of addiction. Whether they’re the ones struggling with addiction or they’re the ones living in the middle with an addict, I lift them up to You. Mighty Lord, You know them by name. You know all of the details of their situation. You’ve seen their tears. You know their fears. And You want them to come to You. Even now, may they feel Your strength and peace. May they know how much You love them. May they take a step of faith with You today. Amen.

Q4U: Do you have a word of encouragement you can share with someone “living in the middle”?

View through the Keyhole

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Joy

What do you think of when someone says “keyhole”? Nowadays, we have a small metal slit that our slender key fits in as it unlocks a deadbolt or doorknob. But have you ever seen a really old door? You know, one of those heavy wood doors on a house or stone wall with the thick iron hardware that creeks every time it opens. The keys for those doors were so big that you could actually put your eye to the keyhole and see through to the other side.

I imagine looking through one of those keyholes into a secret garden or a magical hidden world. (Okay, I admit I love fairy tales and adventure). These days, we don’t have those big keyholes that reveal a small glimpse of something beyond. Or do we?

What about our life seen through the keyhole?

Someone once told me that we view our lives from a keyhole. It’s as if we’re looking at ourselves, other people, and our circumstances through a tiny window. We can see clearly, but our vantage is very limited. We can’t see what’s happening to the left or the right. We can’t see what’s happening up above or below. We can’t see anything happening behind the scenes. There’s so much going on outside of our view that we’ll never truly comprehend everything about anything.

It suddenly makes me feel very small and uninformed about this world I live in. And even about my own life and the people in it.

But there is someone who sees and knows everything. God. And thankfully we can be on His team. God is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. He created time and lives outside of it. He looks down upon the past, present and future and sees it all at once.

God stands far above our keyhole and has a complete view of the other side. He is the Master Strategist that orchestrates life. He is never surprised. He is never caught off guard. He never takes a coffee break. He knows every detail about us and our life. He knows every detail about everyone in our life. He knows every detail about everyone that will ever touch our life in any way. And the amazing thing is that He’s more detail-oriented than anyone we will ever meet. He knows and cares about all of the details in our life–to the Nth degree.

We may be skeptical at times. We may have doubts about how much God cares about us or what He’s willing to do for us. But the proof is in what He’s already done: He sacrificed His only Son so that we can be reconciled to Him and spend eternity with Him. The way He intended it from the beginning.

We don’t have to worry about having a limited view from the keyhole. Our God sees everything. He alone holds the ultimate power to prevail in every situation. And He has prepared the way for us to come to Him. Now and for eternity.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

May I pray?

Lord, thank you that You are concerned about every detail in our Life. We will never have the vantage point that You do. So if we don’t seek You first, we won’t make the best decisions. Father, please help us to come to You for guidance. And please help us to remember that You made the ultimate sacrifice for us–because You do care and You want us to be with You, now and for eternity. May we stop straining to see through the keyhole and instead fix our eyes on You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Q4U: In what ways do you strain to see through the keyhole of your life instead of looking to God for guidance?

Where’s the Hand Gel? – Real Life Dirt

Posted on January 17, 2012 by Joy

Are we obsessed with being clean?

No really. There was a time when there were only two kinds of soap: liquid and bar. Liquid was used for washing dishes and the bar was for washing people. Now there’s liquid, bar, cream, exfoliating, moisturizing, anti-bacterial, perfumed, unscented, and many combinations of the above. And these are just for the shower! We have Wet Ones for a convenient on-the-go freshening, baby wipes for stinky bottoms, and my favorite travel companion: hand gel. Which thankfully comes in many wonderful colors and fragrances.

Apparently there is more dirt to be washed away and more germs to be eradicated than ever before in history. Either that, or we’re obsessed.

My obsession for hand gel reached epic proportions in India. The only water available during the day was bottled water we carried for drinking. Temperatures rose with the sun each day and we were covered in dirt and sweat. So no water could be spared for washing hands. After playing with kids in the dirty confines of leper colonies and orphanages, how do you clean your hands enough to eat an energy bar? Do you risk touching a banana and hope any viral grunge is blocked by the peel?

And so my love for hand gel was born. I lathered it and slathered it over and over every day, as the anti-bacterial gel mysteriously evaporated with each rub.

But it didn’t wash off the dirt.

My cure-all hand gel may have killed germs and smelled good, but it had no way of washing away the grime. The hand gel only masked the dirt that then congregated under my fingernails. It was gross. And not clean.

A lot of us want a steady supply of hand gel in our daily lives. Myself included. We don’t want to get our hands dirty in real humanity. We don’t want to risk catching a dread disease from someone who’s homeless or struggling with addiction. We don’t want to be inconvenienced by pausing our busy schedule to help carry someone else’s load today. We don’t want to feel the uneasiness that would come if we dared to reach out our hand to someone sinking in the quicksand of hopelessness. We don’t want to acknowledge the dirt in our own life.

We want to look good and smell good and think we’re clean.

But we all have dirt under our fingernails. Nothing we buy will ever wash off the dirt of this world. So it’s time to stop trying to lather up with hand gel. It’s time to touch the real lives of other people. It’s time to accept our dirt of the past and theirs too.

It’s time to come clean about where we’ve really been and realize that there are so many other girls out there who’ve been trudging through the same mud pits of life.

Because we don’t have to stay there. We can be washed clean. Of everything.

There’s a place, only one place, where all the muck and grime of real life can be washed away. At the spring of Living Water. Jesus Christ. He can take it all away–the pain, the shame, the isolation, the regret. He can make us shine as white as snow. He can make us new. And He will. If we humbly come before Him and ask Him to.

The best part is that His Living Water never runs out. We don’t have to save it. We don’t have to hide it. Jesus wants us to share it with all the people out there like us. Everyone with dirt under their fingernails.

“For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their Shepherd; He will lead them to springs of Living Water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” Revelation 7:17

May I pray?

Lord, it’s not easy thinking about the dirt in our own life. And it’s not easy talking about getting our hands dirty by reaching a helping hand into the lives of others. So Jesus, we look to You. You didn’t come to hang out with clean people. You came to save the unclean. You came to wash us of everything that weighs us down and makes us feel dirty. You are the Living Water that refreshes and renews. And You offer to wash away the stains of the past. All of them. Today, may we have the courage to try something new, and bare our dirt before You so You can begin washing it away. Amen.

Q4U: What is one new way you could extend a hand to someone, or how did someone reach out to help you in a time of need?

Believing In God In A World Gone Mad–#2

Posted on January 13, 2012 by Joy

Yesterday I shared about my conversation with a friend who’s an atheist. He doesn’t believe in God. My friend and I began our discussion by talking about whether or not God exists. Then he moved on to the obstacles preventing him from having faith.

My friend doesn’t believe that God has shown (or proven) Himself to him. There are questions about creation that no has been able to answer for him. And he doesn’t understand how a loving God could allow the atrocities in our world to continue.

I don’t have the answers to life’s questions. What I do know is that God created a perfect world that had no pain or death. But when man chose to rebel against God in sin, everything changed. Not only does sin corrupt people, but the earth suffers the consequences of the fall too. Unspeakable acts are committed against innocent women and children. Devastating storms ravage all parts of the world. Men and women wearing the nametag “Christian” lie, cheat, steal and physically harm others. Convicted murderers later repent and are granted access into heaven, but “good” citizens don’t accept Christ and don’t go to heaven.

How can God allow this?

God created perfection. He also granted free will so that we can decide whether or not we’ll walk by faith in Him. He will never force us to believe.

The perfection of His creation will be restored when Jesus returns. Until that time, God shines His light in the darkness of this world. He shines through His children. He shines through you and through me. Those who love Him, and know that there is nothing truly “good” outside of Him, walk by believing not seeing. God offers forgiveness. He offers new life in Him here on earth. He offers the certainty of eternal life in heaven to anyone who accepts His free gift of salvation.

There are many people like me who have walked through the valley of the shadow of death. And for those of us who walk with Christ, we can say with certainty that it was all worth it.

I don’t want others to walk the path I did, but I wouldn’t change my past. Because now I know.

I know where others are–in those dark places of shame, fear and regret. I’ve been there. I’ve walked and crawled through the mud pits of life. And now I’m here to walk others out of darkness into the Light. If they want to.

My friend ended our conversation by saying that he thinks the idea of God is a good one. It promotes goodness in people. It gives a framework for people to live in harmony. It provides a blanket of love to keep people warm and hope that there’s something more than ourselves. But he has not lived through the struggles or witnessed the miracles I have. My proof is not his proof. My revelation is not his revelation. Although he tries to rationalize, he knows that God cannot be proven by logic or reason, only by faith. But in order to get faith, he needs answers. It’s a catch 22.

A catch 22 indeed. Do we have to see to believe? Or do we believe and then see? I encourage you to step out in faith. Take my hand and walk forward in hope. Then see what God will show you.

“We walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:8 (NKJV)

May I pray?

Holy Father, we do not see as You see. Your thoughts are so far above our thoughts, and Your ways are so far beyond our ways. We cannot comprehend how You withhold Your wrath and watch the evil that penetrates our world. And yet, we know that You alone are mighty to save. You alone hold the world in Your right hand and have ordained the days and the steps of those who know and love You, and those who don’t. Help us to walk by faith. Even when we can’t see or understand. Thank you for never letting go of us. And thank you for showing us how to use our hurtful experiences from the past to help others today. May we be willing to extend our hand to them. Amen.

Q4U: What step of faith have you taken, either recently or in the past?

Believing In God In A World Gone Mad–#1

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Joy

I talked to a friend of mine recently who’s an atheist. He doesn’t believe that God exists. Every couple of months we have a discussion about the new “theories” of science or what atheist leaders are saying about creation and the lack of a loving God in our decrepit world.

Thankfully, we respect each other and the discussion never gets contentious. Recently he said we can “gently agree to disagree”. I’ve never heard him use the word “gently” so I said he must be getting soft in his old age. I had to get a friendly jab in somehow.

Our newest discussion began with an atheist leader who says that afterlife is a “fairy story”. He contends that we should “do good” while we’re here on earth because nothing comes afterwards. It’s worth noting that this leader is close to death’s door.

My response was this: One of us (this leader or me) is wrong.

So what if he’s the one who’s wrong? What if God does exist and there are two options–believe and spend eternity with Him, or not believe and spend eternity in hell. There’s much more to it than that, obviously, but God is in the business of redeeming broken lives and giving people the opportunity to be in relationship with Him now and forever. That’s a really long time. And the consequences are huge.

And if there’s no God and no eternity, what’s the point of “doing good” on this earth? No one will remember us or what we did in 100 years. We’ll be nothing but a distant memory, if that. Or is this man now saying we should “do good” because we have an intrinsic desire to “be good”–something inside us that makes us want to pursue truth and goodness? Maybe in his final years he’s seeing a glimpse of God inside himself. We’re made in God’s image, after all.

But what if I’m wrong? First, I know the work the Lord has done in me and in my life to transform me into a completely different person. I know the miracles He has done for me; I don’t just read about miracles in the Bible. I know His presence each day and His power in the lives of other people. I’m living proof that God does exist and that Jesus gave His life so that I could be in relationship with Him–face to face, one on one. And if it’s all a “fairy tale”–simple answer, it’s not. I know with certainty. There is no qualifying “what if”. I may stumble, I may not have all the answers to life’s questions, but I know one thing for sure–my Savior is alive and He lives through me. Until He comes back to take me home, I hope my life will show others that they’re never too far from the love of Christ to find new life.

I ended my “response” with this: It was interesting when Ben Stein interviewed this leader and asked him what he would do if he died and then was brought before God to be held accountable for his life. And he said, “I would ask Him why He didn’t show me He existed.” It sounds like he’s thought about the possibility that he is wrong. And the truth is that God has shown him that He exists–but his stubbornness (and maybe pride) keeps him from acknowledging it. As James Bernard Shaw once said, “Death is the ultimate statistic. One out of one will die.” Based on how this man looks, that statistic will come true for him pretty soon. I pray he’ll rethink the “what if”.

I pray that our family and friends will rethink the “what if”. I pray that we will rethink the “what if.”

“Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’” Mark 9:24

May I pray?

Jesus, there are so many uncertainties in life. Sometimes it’s hard to grasp the idea of life with You in heaven for eternity. Sometimes we struggle with both sides of “what if”, especially when we’re challenged to prove to others why we believe in You. Today I pray that You would strengthen our faith. I pray that You would again show Your power to love, comfort and save us in every situation. Not because You have to prove Yourself, but because You love us more than we can ever imagine, and You want us to know You like never before. Help us overcome our unbelief. And may we boldly praise You today. Amen.

Q4U: What is one way that God has shown you that He exists, even if it’s not something that can be supported by scientific proof?

Message in the Chocolate

Posted on January 11, 2012 by Joy

Do you ever have one of those cravings where nothing will satisfy you until you get specifically what you’re craving? I do. I crave dark chocolate. My love of this decadent (and nutritious) dessert is no secret. But many times I try to fend off my cravings and not give in. So I’ll graze through the pantry sampling dried fruit, crackers, cereal and everything else that’s snackable. Until I end up back at the dark chocolate. And then I cave in. Truthfully the dark chocolate would have tasted better without the pantry appetizers.

I view dark chocolate as an anti-oxidant vitamin. So being health conscious, I’m always on the lookout for a free sample. If it’s nearby, I’ll find it.

At a women’s conference earlier this year, there was a booth with some beautifully wrapped dark chocolate. Who can resist? (I’d like to note that since I wasn’t buying anything, I only took one piece). I opened the wrapper and was surprised to see a message printed on the inside:

“Be your own best friend.”

How odd. At a conference designed to develop new friendships, my candy wrapper was telling me not to let anyone get too close. I shouldn’t reveal my “real” issues. I can’t trust others. I shouldn’t impose on someone else. I should keep the really important things–all of my secrets, fears, regrets, hopes, dreams–to myself.

Immediately my mind went back to age 13, just after my dad died. I recited the poem I composed then:

My best friend is me.
I do what I want and so does she.
If I walk in darkness, she has a guiding light.
She walks with me and tells me to come over for the night.
My best friend is me.
Is yours you?
Could be.

At age 13 I subscribed to the world’s view that we can’t trust anyone but ourselves. We shouldn’t rely on or bother others. We can do just fine on our own. This self-sufficiency was so ingrained in me that I still remember my poem decades later.

What do I think of the world view now? About being our own best friend, and not bothering or trusting others because they don’t really understand, or wouldn’t, or couldn’t?

Lies!

The world has been lying to us! We’ve been lying to ourselves! We’re not fine on our own!

Don’t believe the lies! We can’t keep going through life stuffing our “real” issues into the dark chambers of our heart. We’re either going to explode or suffocate.

We were made to share life together. Even if we haven’t been part of a loving sisterhood in the past, we can start to experience it now.

This is where we have to rise above real life. We can rise above where we’ve been and catch a glimpse of where we can go. There are girls out there who want and need our open and honest friendship just as much as we want and need theirs. So let’s stop giving license to the lies by getting out of isolation. Let’s reach out and begin to love others where they are and for who they are. And let’s open up so we can be loved by them.

Loving and being loved, regardless of the details. This is sisterhood. And by definition, sisterhood involves others. We can’t be our own best sister.

“Be devoted to one another in [sisterly] love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, it’s hard to love and trust other people when our experiences in the past haven’t been good. But Lord, no matter what kind of barriers we use to protect our heart, deep down we need close friends. Today, may we reach out to someone else to show them the love of sisterhood, knowing that You never intended for us to be our own best friend. Help us to start growing new friendships. Help us to come to You and get to know You like never before. Amen.

Q4U: What is a tangible way that we can reach out to someone today to show them the love of sisterhood, even if we don’t know them well, or know them at all?

Your Deepest Secret–Don’t Tell Anyone

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Joy

Can you keep a secret?

We know secrets. We hide our own. We promise to carry someone else’s. We listen to the whispers of gossip as bonds of trust are broken. We clamor to hear the exposed secrets of celebrities and high profile people. It’s almost as if we feel better about our secrets when the secrets of others are revealed.

And yet we stuff our secrets way down deep. Hoping they’ll never escape.

Our secrets would shock others if they knew. Our secrets ignite fear when they surface. Our secrets smother us in shame. Our secrets are dangerous. Our secrets are worse than everyone else’s. Or so we think. Or so we’re told.

We’ve been warned about what happens.

Don’t tell anyone. They won’t like you. They won’t understand. They won’t want you anymore. They’ll ridicule you. They’ll leave you. They’ll never believe you. You’ll lose everything. You’ll lose everyone. They’ll know you’re a liar. They’ll know you’re weak. They’ll know you failed. They’ll know you’re worthless.

Have you ever felt this? Have you ever been told this? I have.

The problem with secrets is that they’re based on lies. Lies that keep our real feelings hidden. Lies that keep us pretending. Lies that prevent us from making new choices. Lies that hold us hostage. Lies that eat away at us from the inside out.

Lies cripple us. But it’s not easy to break free and tell the truth. Truth is risky. We don’t really know what will happen.

But here is truth: There is no fear in truth.

Once the truth is out, there’s nothing left to be afraid of. There’s no script to remember. There’s no house of cards that will come crashing down. There’s no second shoe to drop. The truth is out––as dark, scary or messy as we think it is. Once the truth is out, we can step over it and out of it. We can let others into our darkness so they can help us walk out. We can expose our wounds of the past and let healing begin.

And when we open our vault of secrets and let the truth be seen, others feel empowered to share their dark, scary and messy truths. We’re not the only ones who have gone through this. We don’t need to stay in the bondage of lies. We don’t need to carry this burden alone.

Here is more truth: God already knows the truth. He knows where we’ve been. He knows what we’ve done. He knew it would happen before we did. And He loves us the same before, during and after. He loves us completely. God knows our secrets. He wants us to break free. He’ll help us. He’ll heal us. But we first have to let Him into our dark places. We have to let Him touch us where it hurts. And if we do, we’ll never have to hide our secrets again.

We’re only as isolated as our deepest secret. So let’s get our secrets out. Tell a trusted friend. Tell a counselor. Tell a pastor. Tell God. Tell someone. Together let’s take a step toward freedom.

“You spread out our sins before You–our secret sins–and You see them all… Satisfy us each morning with Your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.” Psalm 90:8, 14 (NLT)

May I pray?

God, we all have secrets from the past. Some we’ve told, and some we haven’t. Some of us are living secret lives now. Lord, we can’t break free from our secrets without help. Breathe truth and strength into us today. Help us find someone we can trust and be honest with. Help us to be honest with ourselves and with You. Lord, we want to live without fear. We want to sing for joy. Grant us peace and courage as we step forward today. Amen.

Q4U: What is the hardest part of keeping a secret (your own or someone else’s)?

Dump the Destination–Choose to Cruise

Posted on January 9, 2012 by Joy

If you had the opportunity to plan a vacation, would you fly to a city or beach of your choice and spend your time based out of one location, or would you go on a cruise so you could visit various ports and revel in the voyage?

I’ve never been on a cruise. I’m a destination kind of girl.

I love to travel, and I even love going city to city during a trip. But for me it’s about getting to the next city so I can start experiencing it. I don’t see the travel time as something that could be as fun or amazing as the destination itself.

Unfortunately, this is how many of us live our lives. We fixate on what’s up ahead. We plan. We rush. We continually press on to get to the next destination. And all along we miss the real treasures of the journey.

Life is our journey. And life’s treasures are found along the way.

Friendships. Love relationships. Family. Helping others in their hardships. Leaving a lasting legacy. Finding strength we never knew we had. These are treasures from the journey. And these aren’t found at any end destination. They’re discovered en route.

Life worth living is life shared with others day by day. We experience life’s treasures when our days are savored, not spent. How many of us work extra hours and sacrifice time with family and friends so we can have “more” and provide a better “tomorrow”? But what happens when “tomorrow” comes? Are our family and friends still waiting for us? Are we so exhausted that we can’t enjoy “tomorrow”? And is “tomorrow” ever enough or are we always wanting still more? Don’t get me wrong–it’s good to work hard. It’s okay to want to provide more for your family (or future family) than what you had growing up. But if we’re so focused on the future and what comes next that we neglect our meaningful friendships and relationships, we’ll have nothing worth anything when we get to the top of the hill. And our trip down will be very lonely.

The reality is that we never truly arrive at a destination in life this side of heaven. We may get to various ports of call, but the cruise keeps on going.

So if we don’t learn to love the voyage, if we aren’t making the most of our travel time from point to point along the way as we journey through life, we’ll continually be disappointed. We’ll live in discontent. We’ll grow weary and bitter as we keep lugging our baggage from place to place. From person to person.

We’ll fixate on what we think “ought to be”, and lose sight of the people around us.

Today, let’s dump our pursuit of the destination. Let’s choose to love the cruise. Even if our current port of call is somewhere we don’t want to be. We can savor the journey as we start sailing toward the next stop. Look around you to see who’s cruising with you. Take their hand and start sharing life with them, day by day. And if you don’t have anyone to grab onto, take my hand. Come with me. And know this, you’re never alone. God is always by your side. He’s waiting for you to turn to Him.

Now let’s get cruising!

“‘Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.’” Joshua 1:9

May I pray?

Lord, sometimes we’re all about the destination. We’re so focused on getting “there”, wherever “there” may be, that we miss the real joys of the journey. And sometimes we don’t like our current port of call. We’re disappointed with how our life has turned out. We never thought we’d be in this “place”. Help us to look around and find others that we can share our journey with. May we go one day at a time, and truly seek the treasures of the voyage. Amen.

Q4U: Are you and destination or cruise kind of girl, and why?

A Shoe Fetish–The Early Years

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Joy

How do you feel about shoes? It may seem like a crazy question, but really, what’s your opinion? Are you the type of person who thinks shoes serve the basic function of protecting your feet, so you have the obligatory three or four pairs, and you only buy a new pair when black Sharpies can no longer fill in the worn leather? Or are you a mid-range shoe consumer who believes shoes are part of your wardrobe and should generally match what you wear (and each other), so you have 10-20 pairs with various colors of the same style to wear with different outfits and for different occasions? Or are you a shoe aficionado who knows that shoes are one of the most important accessories to adorn any ensemble, even if you’re just going for a run (thus requiring the 50+ pairs), so shopping for the newest and cutest shoe of the season is not only your favorite sport, it’s a passion?

Shoes aren’t just for walking anymore!

I remember my first day of 7^th grade. No more elementary school, baby. This was “Junior High”! We didn’t have much money, and until now I had still been wearing Toughskins from Sears (you may not know what those are, but trust me, it wasn’t good). For Junior High school shopping, I was allowed to buy my first pair of designer jeans–Jordache! It was going to be a good year, I just knew it. But for the first time in my life, there was another problem. I didn’t have any shoes to wear (my old pair of faded brown faux leather just wouldn’t cut it). Lucky for me, my next door neighbor let me borrow a pair of her clogs. This would have been a great idea, except they were 3 inch heels and 2½ sizes too big. So I wadded up my tube socks and shoved them into the clogs before putting them on. Somehow I made it onto the bus, off the bus, and up the cement walkway to the school without turning an ankle or losing a shoe. But as I entered the hallowed entry hall of my new school, amidst all of the excited upper class students reuniting after summer, I took one step on the newly-waxed, shiny floor and SPLAT! Down I went as my feet slipped out, my butt hit the ground, and everything I was carrying went skidding across the floor. What an entrance! Somehow that’s all I remember of that day (and most of that year). I do know that I never borrowed my friend’s shoes again.

Why do I share that story? It’s not to justify my shoe closet or my love of a fabulous new pair (what can I say, some people collect figurines, I collect shoes). I share the story to remind us that regardless of our age or what we’re doing, it’s so important to be walking in our own shoes.

Why? Three reasons. First, we can’t fill someone else’s shoes. We have to wear our own pair that accentuates our talents (this is a metaphor for life in case you were wondering).

Second, we shouldn’t be tempted to ask someone to walk a mile in our shoes so they can see how uncomfortable they are. We should instead ask them to walk with us in their shoes so they can be a part of our journey and bring their strengths to it.

Third, we shouldn’t be envious of the shoes someone else is walking in. No matter how good they look, they won’t fit us. If we try to force them on, we’ll get blisters and then SPLAT! in front of the very people we’re trying to impress. It won’t be pretty.

It’s okay to like new shoes. But the journey we walk in them is what’s truly important.

“If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, sometimes it’s hard to walk in our shoes. Sometimes we’re not content with the shoes we’re given. Help us to walk thankfully and confidently in our own shoes. And may today be a day that we don’t focus on our shoes, but on the path we’re walking. May we skip along with friends, regardless of the shoes we’re wearing. Amen.

Q4U: How do you feel about shoes?

We Are Survivors!

Posted on January 5, 2012 by Joy

Our world can be a dark and scary place. Bad people are doing bad things. Bad things happen to good people. Senseless things happen to innocent people. We see it. We hear about it. Some of us live it. People say, “You reap what you sow.” But sometimes we reap what others sow–and our world shatters.

Today, I don’t want us to focus on why bad things happen to us. Instead I want us to think about “What now?”

Some people who endure horrific experiences in their life, especially in their younger years, can plunge into a place of such depression and isolation that they never fully recover for the rest of their lives. They’re empty, afraid, angry, numb. Their life is dark and lonely. They never break free of the past. They never laugh or truly love again.

How is it, then, that other people who experience similar tragedy can rise above the destruction and use it to strengthen and motivate them as they move forward in life? What can we do to break free of the past with its nightmares and pain, and rise above our real life? Three things:

1. We believe we’re survivors, not victims. We’re made in God’s image and He gave us an inner strength deep in our soul that keeps us fighting for one more day. We are survivors. But if we allow our thoughts to stay fixated on what happened to us, or the person/people who did it, that will become the focus of our life. Bitterness and anger will take root in our heart. They’re a cancer destroying us from the inside out. Yes, we were victims. We shouldn’t minimize that. But we have to believe we are survivors now and stay focused on what’s ahead, not behind. That leads us to #2…

2. We cling to hope for new life. We grasp hope and don’t let go. Even in the deepest, darkest pits of life. Even in the spinning tornados of chaos and crisis. Even in the desperation of isolation. There is hope. There is a promise of new life. For you and for me. I’m living proof. No matter where we’ve been, what we’ve done, or what has happened to us. We can have new life. It will take time. The road won’t be easy. But a whole new world is waiting. Life filled with purpose. And eternal life. We can have it all. It starts with hope. My hope is in Christ. We’ll talk more about hope in tomorrow’s blog.

3. We share our survivor story. We help others find hope. We walk with them on their journey from destruction. Even if we’re still healing. Even if we’re still struggling. Even if we don’t know the end of our story. Strength fills us with each step we take. The injustice of our experience motivates us to keep going. To encourage others to not give up. To do something instead of nothing. We’re survivors. Survivors take action. Revenge against someone should never be our motivation. Our revenge is a survivor story that transcends the destruction and brings the light of hope and healing into darkness.

We all have a past. We all have a story. Now is the time to start changing the ending. We are survivors. You. Me. All of us. And not only will we survive, but together we’ll thrive in new life as we walk the journey with others.

“Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

May I pray?

Father God, You are Elohim, our Creator. You made us in Your image and gave us a fighting spirit. We are stronger than we feel or believe. Father, please help us see that we are survivors. Help us to find even the faintest glimpse of hope so we may cling to it without ever letting go. And Lord, please give us the courage to share our survivor story so that we may be emboldened, and others may be encouraged. Protect us as we walk this journey to new life with You, and with each other. Amen.

Q4U: We are all survivors of something. What is your survivor story?

Victory Thinking

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Joy

We have a lot on our minds.

I don’t know about you, but my mind is constantly racing trying to keep up with everything. Work, school, family, relationships, finances, health issues, cleaning, errands–to name just a few. Busyness. Non-stop juggling for most of us. Calendars, lists, appointments to keep, emails to send, calls to make, things to follow up on, birthdays and other occasions to remember. Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. Year after year.

It’s easy to get weighed down by the sheer volume of things we’re dealing with. And then something unexpected happens. Something disappointing or hurtful or even tragic. Suddenly we find ourselves struggling to stay above water. It’s impossible to focus on anything else.

We hear people talk about “abundant life” or “true joy” or how great their life is. Sometimes I’ve thought, “I’m glad their life is fabulous, but mine’s not. What about me?” Don’t get me wrong. I’m really happy for people who are really happy. But when I’m stuck in the mud pits of life and I don’t have someone pulling me out, how can I overcome my real life?

Recently I heard the answer. So simple it seems almost too simple. But it makes sense.

Victory thinking.

Thinking victoriously. Putting an end to negative thoughts that cripple us. Fixing our mind on where we want to be, not the hardship of where we are. Victory Thinking is a critical step to rising above real life. Why? Because rising above real life includes overcoming our circumstances. We’re no longer bound by the negative impact of where we are. We’re claiming victory over what has held us down or held us back. We’re breaking free and soaring to new heights. And it starts with us believing that we can have that victory.

But here’s something else that’s true about Victory Thinking: the ability to be victorious doesn’t come from our own strength. The ability to endure everyday turmoil of life, the ability to persevere in the darkest hours of our life, and the ability to rise above the reality of our circumstances and stand in victory–the ability comes from above. It comes from God.

Most of us know deep down inside that we can’t do life on our own. But a lot of us don’t like to admit it. Then the day comes when we’re at the end of our rope and we realize we need divine intervention. Even if we’re not sure we believe in God, we’re ready to try just about anything. When we decide we’re ready for victory in our life, it’s time to begin Victory Thinking.

Victory or defeat. There are only two options. Choose victory. Start thinking victoriously.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

May I pray?

Jesus, I’m praying for victory–in our thinking and in our lives. I know that You alone are mighty to save, so I ask that You help us to begin thinking victoriously. May our thoughts be released from the grip of hardships and circumstances. May we learn to rejoice in small daily victories. May we grow to love You more as we open up to Your love for us. Please help us keep our eyes and thoughts fixed on You. Please help us to believe and embrace the truth that we can rise above everything when we do it in Your strength. Amen.

Q4U: What are some ways that you can choose Victory Thinking?

Bonds of Sisterhood–Our Journey Begins!

Posted on January 3, 2012 by Joy

What comes to mind when someone says “friend”? For most of us, it brings warm thoughts and a smile. We think of someone we like, and even love. And they feel the same way about us.

A good friend is someone we confide in. We want to spend time with them. Laugh and hang out with them. We lean on them. We cry to them. We trust them with our secrets. We trust them with our life.

And we know they’ll tell us the truth. About everything.

They’ll tell us if our mascara is smudged or we have an unruly eyebrow hair. They’ll check our teeth in the restaurant to make sure we’re clear. If we have toilet paper stuck to our shoe, or our skirt is bunched up in the back and we’re showing unmentionables, they’ll immediately take action. And they’ll come forward when they know someone’s been unfaithful to us, and then sob with us.

Good friends do for us what we would do for them. They accept us. The way we are. Right where we are. No matter where we’ve been.

This is how we know someone is a good friend: If they can’t pick us up when we fall, they sit down next to us until we’re ready to stand again.

As years go by and seasons in our life change, many friends move on or away. Even BFF’s. But there are some girls whose friendship will never be changed by time or circumstances. Those friends are like sisters. As the saying goes, friends are for now but sisters are forever.

Rising above real life starts with growing in sisterhood. We can’t do it alone. It’s a journey we walk with others in love, respect, trust and devotion. It will take time. It won’t be easy. But we can overcome the past. We can rise above the struggles we face today. We can gain courage and strength. We can move forward into new beginnings and a new season in life.

And we start today.

As we head into this new year, we’re also heading out on our new adventure–this journey through life. So let’s hold onto this truth: We don’t have to be alone or isolated.

Some of us have a lot of people to talk to, but no one to confide in. We don’t let anyone see behind the curtain. We don’t have anyone who knows the secrets and fears locked in the depths of our heart. We don’t believe anyone wants to know the real us. But all of that can change today.

We’ll go a day at a time and encourage each other along the way.

Whether we struggle through the mud pits of life or trek to the highest peaks, we’ll do it together. In sisterhood. Knowing that new life is ahead. Our journey begins!

“A friend loves at all times, and a [sister] is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

May I pray?

Lord, thank you for giving us this opportunity to walk with new friends on our journey through life. May we share honestly and encourage each other in every challenge we face as we grow in sisterhood. And may we learn more about You along the way. Amen.

Q4U: What does friendship and sisterhood mean to you, or what is something special about your best friend?

The Last Big Gift

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Joy

Who loves presents? I do! What’s not to love? Pretty packages full of surprises. Excitement building with each one as we tear wrapping paper and rip boxes with anticipation. Will we get what we really wanted?

Manners go out the window when it comes to opening gifts.

Especially at Christmas. We’re like kids again. Hoping for that one present we had our heart set on. Eyeing the boxes, and noticing there’s one over in the corner. Too big for one person to carry. Is that for us?

When I was growing up, the first order of business on Christmas day was opening stockings. We usually got things like oranges and candy from “Santa”. My sisters and I were always anxious to get to the presents. After stockings, we each had several small gifts to open. My favorites were horse statues for my collection, and there were usually games, books and records too. But when I was about ten years old there was a big gift.

Back behind the tree. All by itself. And it had my name on it.

Would it be the gift of a lifetime? Was it a saddle for the pony I so desperately wanted? Was it a dog bed for the puppy I had been begging for?

Would this be the year? Would the annual gift of flannel pajamas be replaced by something grand? Something amazing? Something I would remember for the rest of my life?

Not so much. To my dismay it wasn’t the gift of a lifetime. It was a white suitcase. No saddle. No dog bed. Nothing in the suitcase. Just a suitcase.

I was crushed. My one big gift of a lifetime was a letdown. And it was all I could do to say “thank you” as disappointment washed over me. It wasn’t what I wanted and it showed. My parents saw their gift as a an accompaniment to new adventures. I saw it as an empty suitcase.

I wonder if God looks at us the same way my parents must have looked at me that day.

God gives us so many good gifts. Sometimes they’re amazing, like a new job, an opportunity to travel, or a close group of friends. Sometimes they’re things we take for granted, like a warm bed and pillow to sleep on, a family who loves us, a huge holiday meal with leftovers, or money to pay our bills. Sometimes we don’t even think of blessings as gifts, like our health, the ability to run and play, or the freedom to sing Christmas carols and go to Christmas eve services.

Each day it’s as if we open gift after gift from God, looking to see what’s next. We tear through the wrapping paper of this one, we run on to the next one. We may or may not remember to thank God for each gift. We’re like kids without manners. But even still, our Father loves us and He’s so excited. Because there’s one more present He has to give. The last big gift He’s been waiting for us to open. It’s not health or wealth. It’s not a new family member or pet. It’s not a promotion. It’s God. He’s giving us Himself. He’s giving us Jesus.

God wants us to receive the greatest gift of all. He paid a huge price for it. He’s so excited for us to accept it. But He won’t force us to take it. He’s waiting to see our reaction.

Jesus is the last big gift.

Will we receive Jesus and praise God for such a priceless gift? Or will we allow disappointment to wash over us because we didn’t get what we wanted this year?

Regardless of our current situation, God lovingly provides and protects us when we humbly turn to Him. And among all of the gifts that God so lavishly showers on each one of us, there is one big gift that He is most excited to give us. Himself.

Merry Christmas, my friends! I pray that the peace and joy of the season will fill you this Christmas. I can’t wait to hear from you in the new year!

“‘For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.’” John 3:16 (ESV)

May I pray?

Jesus, You are the last big gift. The one that, after all of the smaller gifts and blessings are opened, God sets before us and says, “Now open this one.” Thank You for giving Your life for us. Thank You for reaching out to us so that we can know You. Thank You for the huge price You paid to give us freedom and new life. Lord, I pray a special blessing upon my sisters and brothers reading this today. May they be renewed by the power of Your Holy Spirit, and may the wonder of Christmas fill them with hope and peace. In Your holy, precious Name I pray. Amen.

Q4U: How will you respond this Christmas to God’s last big gift to you?

Broken Light Bulbs

Posted on December 19, 2011 by Joy

Have you ever turned on a light switch and had one of the light bulbs blow? If it’s in a room that you’ve been in before, you notice right away that it’s darker. It’s not as light as it should be. It’s harder to see. It doesn’t seem right.

But as time passes and the broken bulb goes unreplaced, you start getting used to the new normal. Your eyes adjust. It’s not so bad. And if it’s hard to replace the bulb, you may decide that you like the room a little darker anyway. The broken light bulb is now a part of mood lighting.

Broken light bulbs are like sin in our life.

At first, the sin is dark and concerning. We know we shouldn’t do it. We know we shouldn’t let it continue. It’s harder to see God. It’s harder to stay close to others we know are following Him. But as time passes and we let the sin remain, we adjust to it. It’s not really all that bad, especially compared to what other people are doing. And we begin to embrace it. It’s fun. It’s daring. The dark is more alluring. Being in the light is overrated.

But here’s truth: sin is deceitful.

A few too many martinis. Sex with our committed boyfriend. A little pot to unwind on weekends. Another shopping spree on credit cards. What’s so bad about that? It’s not that big a deal. We’re just trying to feel better. So a light bulb blows and things get darker. Once we let down our guard and begin to rationalize that our sins are okay, we’re at a new place of normal. We adjust to it. We like it. We lock away feelings of guilt and regret so we’re clear to keep going in our sin. Then another bulb blows. And the lights start going out one by one.

Until one day we wake up and realize this isn’t where we want to be. This isn’t where we should be. And this isn’t what God had planned for us.

All of us struggle with the lure and deceitfulness of sin.

And we see it over and over in our culture. People who have it all––wealth, a bright future, supportive family, impeccable reputation––and then they throw it all away to sit among broken light bulbs. Businessmen and politicians cheating on their wives. Housewives having affairs with people at church. Rebellious kids feeling entitled. College students failing out after being freed from their parents’ rules at home. Thirty-something girls thinking they should be married with kids by now and doing anything to fill the void.

This reminds me of the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. The younger son of a wealthy man has it all––a large inheritance, a secure future, a loving father––and yet it isn’t enough. The deceitfulness of sin comes in. He wants more. He wants to have fun. He wants to see the world and live instead of being stuck in the family business. So he demands his half of the estate from his dad. Then he takes his fortune – Armani suits, red sports car, diamond-studded watches, over-stuffed crocodile wallet, extreme investment accounts–– and he sets off for the land of adventure. And he squanders everything he has on wild living. He loses everything. And he ends up working as a laborer feeding pigs in a muddy, third-world country field. He’s starving, wishing he had what the pigs have. He’s at rock bottom. He’s bankrupt.

Sound familiar?

We do the same thing. We may not be financially bankrupt, but many of us are spiritually bankrupt. We’ve been living under broken light bulbs. We’ve squandered everything we had on wild living. We’re dealing with the consequences. We’re at rock bottom.

So what happened to the prodigal son?

It was like a light bulb went on. He finally came to his senses and decided to go home. He knew that whether or not his father would accept him back as a son, it would be far better to be back in the fold than to be out in the cold, dark wilderness alone.

God tells us this story for a reason. He knows the human heart. He knows that we are His prodigal children. It’s time for us to replace the broken light bulbs in our life and come to our senses. It’s time to let go of our sin and embrace God.

It’s time to go home to God and find restoration, peace, and new life in the light of truth.

“‘When he finally came to his senses…’” Luke 15:17 (NLT)

May I pray?

Father God, in one way or another we are all prodigal kids. We think the world is our oyster and we want to go taste of it. We think we deserve more in life than what we have, so we pursue our desires to try to feel better. But in the end, we feel more empty than before. We’re scared, alone, cold, and hungry for hope. We’re bankrupt. Father, forgive us for our sins. Open our eyes to its deceitfulness. Give us the courage to replace the broken light bulbs in our life so we can see what’s in the darkness, and walk forward in Your light to true freedom. Amen.

Q4U: Are there any broken light bulbs in your life that need to be replaced?

Giving and Forgiving

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Joy

What is better––to give or to forgive? I started thinking about this yesterday, and I don’t see an easy answer. Initially, I thought my answer would be “to give”. There are a lot of sayings about how good it is to give. For instance:

– It’s better to give than to receive
– To give is to receive
– Our will to give is recession-proof
– To give is to live
– To give is to gain

Giving has a lot of rewards.

We’re taught at a young age to give to others. Birthday parties, Christmas, Valentine’s Day. We give to others to show our friendship. And when we love someone, it’s easy to give cheerfully and generously.

Most of us like to give special gifts because we want to make others feel special. And we’re blessed in the process by the recipient’s surprise and gratitude. Giving bestows immeasurable joy on the giver. This is how it’s better to give than to receive.

I regretfully admit that I used to give grandiose gifts hoping people would like me more. And I’d give expensive gifts hoping that the gifts I received would be things I really liked. For the record, not only did I have the wrong motives in my giving, it rarely worked. I spent money I didn’t have and was hurt when my efforts weren’t reciprocated. This kind of giving is not what the quips above are referring to.

There’s no doubt that giving to others out of love is good. But what about forgiving others?

Alexander Pope is the third most-quoted writer after Shakespeare and Tennyson. One of his famous lines from the “Essay on Criticism” is:

– To err is human, to forgive is divine

We’re taught at a young age to ask forgiveness. Remember your mom’s stern instruction, “Say you’re sorry!” Whether we felt sorrow or not, we said the required phrase so we could get on with things. We know we have to say we’re sorry for what we did, but we’re not taught how to forgive others for what they’ve done.

Forgiving is not easy. Maybe that’s why Pope said forgiveness is the mark of God.

When someone hurts us, intentionally or unintentionally, physically or emotionally, it can be difficult to forgive them. And we have to know what forgiveness is and isn’t. Forgiving is not forgetting. Forgiving is not pretending it didn’t happen. Forgiving is letting go so that our feelings don’t turn to a bitter cancer within us.

Forgiveness is putting the other person in the hands of God and trusting Him with the rest.

When we’re hurt, there are three things we can do: 1) stay in the same situation and allow the other person to continue to hurt us; 2) retaliate and try to hurt the other person back; 3) rise above the emotions and turn to God so we can learn to forgive and move forward.

God says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by good” (Romans 12:21). Allowing someone else to continually hurt us is like giving up and being overcome by the strength of evil. Retaliating and trying to get even is like being consumed by anger and being overcome by evil. But rising above real life, forgiving the other person as we walk forward with God, and showing God’s love to others even in the midst of our harsh circumstances, that’s overcoming evil with good.

Giving and forgiving. Both are good. Both are characteristic of God. Both should be characteristic of us as we follow after Him.

Giving and forgiving, which is better? Neither. If done with the right motives, both are selfless acts that honor God and the other person. May we share the gifts and the forgiveness we’ve received from God as we rise above real life in triumph.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

May I pray?

God, You have given us so much. And yet there are times when it’s so hard for us to give generously out of the abundance of what You’ve given us. Whether we give or not we know how to do it. Please help us today to have a giving heart. And Father, even though You have forgiven us so much, it’s hard to forgive others. We don’t always know how to forgive. Help us today to lay our hurts, anger, and bitterness down at the foot of the Cross. Grant us wisdom to know how to respond to others in love without allowing the same hurtful things to keep happening. Through Your strength, may we conquer evil with good. Amen.

Q4U: What do you think is better––to give or to forgive?

Favorite Christmas Cards

Posted on December 15, 2011 by Joy

How many Christmas cards do you send each year? Hallmark Corporation estimates that Americans will send approximately 1.5 billion Christmas cards this year. That’s a lot of cards! And it’s 10 times more cards than the next most popular card-giving holiday: Valentine’s Day (we only buy about 144 million cards for that holiday).

Christmas is a time of wishing others well. And we do it through cards.

We send thoughts of peace and goodwill. We wish friends and family prosperity for the season and into the new year. We thank customers for their support and loyalty. We remind people to turn their thoughts to Jesus, God’s gift to His children.

There are two Christmas cards this year that stand out to me. And surprisingly, both were received through email. Sorry, Hallmark.

The first was sent by my pastor back home in D.C. The words were actually in a Christmas card he received a few years ago, but the message was so impactful that he still remembers it today. Here’s what it said:

If our greatest need had been information,
God would have sent us an educator;
If our greatest need had been technology,
God would have sent us a scientist;
If our greatest need had been money,
God would have sent us an economist;
If our greatest need had been pleasure,
God would have sent us an entertainer;
But our greatest need was forgiveness,
So God sent us a Savior.

God sent us a Savior. His very own Son. Why? Because God knows that our greatest need is to be with Him. God wants to be in an intimate love relationship with us, and so He sent Jesus to restore us through forgiveness. Jesus came as a baby in a manger. He didn’t come as a powerful warrior, although He leads the Heavenly Hosts. He didn’t come as a brash political leader, although He controls the nations. He didn’t come as a billionaire, although He controls all resources and fortunes. No, Jesus came as a quiet, humble child who was anything but ordinary. And through His Son, God calls us to come back to Him.

The second card that I really love this season is an eCard sent by a friend from elementary school. You have to love Facebook for connecting people from so many years ago! Here is what her card said:

In the happy moments, praise God
In the difficult moments, seek God
In the quiet moments, trust God
In every moment, thank God

Yes, in every moment, thank Him. We will all have times of joy, crisis, sorrow, hope, uncertainty, regret, and new beginnings. These are part of real life. And what is also part of real life is God. He is with us in every moment. He is ready to comfort. Ready to help. Ready to guide. Ready to rejoice.

God is ready to live with us in every moment we’re willing to share with Him.

God came as a baby so we wouldn’t be afraid. And the angels proclaimed the good news of this Savior of all people. He is the promised One. He went to the cross for us. And He lives today to bring salvation to those who will believe in Him. He is Jesus. He is the reason for the season. He has come for you and me.

“The angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I will bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior is born to you; He is Christ the Lord.’” Luke 2:11-12

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, thank You. Thank You for your unfailing love. Thank You for sending Your Son to live and die for us. Thank You for Your forgiveness and the eternal life that You give as a free gift to all who believe in Jesus. Thank You for wanting to share every moment with us in intimate fellowship. May we turn to You today and let down our guard. May we come to You and share the happy moments, difficult moments, and quiet moments of real life. Amen.

Q4U: What’s your favorite Christmas card?

What’s Up w/the Partridge & Pear Tree?

Posted on December 14, 2011 by Joy

What’s your favorite Christmas carol? It’s hard for me to pick just one. I grew up in a family that sang in the choir and went caroling through the neighborhood with a group each year, so I love Christmas music. I sing along (out of earshot from others, mind you) every chance I get. One of my all-time favorite classics is the “12 Days of Christmas” sung by John Denver and the Muppets. It may be old, but I still love the chutzpah of Miss Piggy, especially at the end of the song.

I was talking to my boyfriend about Christmas songs the other day. And to my absolute surprise, he didn’t know the words to the 12 Days of Christmas! How is that possible? He’s a musician! And then I realized that there are a lot of people that didn’t grow up listening to Christmas carols and haven’t memorized every word to every song.

Sad but true.

What’s also true is that even for someone like me who can sing every word to the carols (whether in tune or not), I don’t always know the true meaning of the song.

Like my favorite 12 Days of Christmas. Until last week, I never knew there was underlying meaning!

Here’s what I found out. There are two disputing camps: one that says the song means nothing and one that says it does. Go figure. The camp that says this carol does have meaning says this: From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England weren’t permitted to practice their faith openly. So this old folk song was written to help children remember the tenets of their faith.

The hidden meaning of the gifts given by “My True Love” are:

– The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ
– Two turtle doves are the Old and New Testaments
– Three French hens stand for faith, hope and love (1 Corinthians 13:13)
– Four calling birds are the four gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, John
– Five gold rings reference the Torah (aka the Law) which are the first five books of the Old Testament
– Six geese a-laying are the six days of creation
– Seven swans a-swimming represent the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Encouraging, Contributing to the needs of others, Leadership and Mercy (Romans 12:6-8)
– Eight maids a-milking are the eight Beatitudes, i.e. “Blessed are…” (Matthew 5:3-10)
– Nine ladies dancing are the nine Fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control (Galatians 5:22-23)
– Ten lords a-leaping are the Ten Commandments
– Eleven pipers piping are the eleven faithful disciples
– Twelve drummers drumming symbolize the twelve points of belief in the Apostles’ Creed

Whether this was an English folk song used to teach children about their faith or not, I’ll never listen to or sing it flippantly again.

This song will bring my thoughts back to the true meaning of Christmas.

My True Love, God, has given us a precious gift above all others. Each verse in the 12 days comes back to one gift: the partridge in the pear tree. Jesus Christ. The baby in a manger. Our Savior who lived, died and rose again for you and for me.

As we go through the 12 days of Christmas, may we remember what we’re celebrating. New life. New hope. A new relationship with God.

On the ___ day of Christmas my True Love gave to me… and a partridge in a pear tree!

“But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12 (NLT)

May I pray?

Jesus, sometimes You get overlooked in Christmas. Even though “Christ” is the base of “Christmas”, our thoughts get caught up in gifts and songs and celebrations. Not You. Forgive us, Lord, for not putting You first in our holiday. Help us as we go through this year’s 12 days of Christmas to turn our thoughts and praise back to You. You are the reason for the season. May we rejoice that our True Love gave us such a precious gift. Amen.

Q4U: What’s your favorite Christmas carol and why?

Girl Behind the Mask

Posted on December 13, 2011 by Joy

Do you ever listen to any of those retro shows that play hair band music from the 80’s? They’re comical. I have to admit, I do love the music. But the hairdos and outfits crack me up. It’s never good when a guy’s long, wavy locks look better than mine!

There’s one song from the 80’s that I remember singing out loud every time it came on. Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me”. The chorus goes:

I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me
I’m begging you to beg me

Everyone knew the song back then. It was a party favorite. But we never really thought much about what it was saying. It was just a song.

And yet, listening to it now, it portrays how many of us feel in relationships.

We want to be wanted. We need to be needed. We crave physical and emotional love connections. And we’ll do just about anything to keep someone interested in us.

Even if it means hiding behind a mask. Even if it means pretending to be someone else.

We talked in yesterday’s blog “A Room Full of Secrets” about how everyone has secrets from the past hidden away. Some are small. Some seem insurmountable. Some cause fear. Some tear at our heart and prevent us from moving forward in life.

We hide secrets because we don’t want people to know about our real life. We’re afraid to let people know the real us.

So we lock our secrets away and put on a mask. We put on a happy face. We pretend that we have it all together. We talk like we know what we’re doing, even though our confidence melts the minute we get home. We say everything is fine. We don’t let anyone get past the surface of who we are or where we’ve been.

Some of us wear our masks for years.

Until one day someone we truly love looks at us and says, “Who are you?” And the truth is that we don’t really know. We’ve been pretending to be someone else for so long that we’ve lost our identity.

We don’t know what we like. We don’t know what we want out of life. We’re numb and tired and empty. We’ve been trying to be who others wanted us to be. Because we want them to want us. We need them to need us. We’d love them to love us. Now we’re begging them not to go.

It’s normal to have desires of being wanted and needed and loved. But we can’t lose ourselves as we try to fulfill those desire. We can’t give ourselves away. We can’t wear a mask to help hide our secrets. We can’t pretend to be someone else so that others will like us and accept us into their crowd.

There is someone who loves us just the way we are. God.

He created us and has specific plans for each one of us. He knows everything we’ve done. He knows every hidden secret. He sees behind the mask. And He can use every bad thing in our life for good if we turn to Him.

God is calling you, the girl behind the mask.

He wants you to know that you’re never alone. He is with you, even right now. And He doesn’t want you to be anyone else. Just you. The girl who is wanted, needed and loved by Him. Without the mask.

The only thing we should hide behind is the love of God.

“You are my hiding place; You will save me from trouble. I sing aloud of Your salvation, because You protect me.” Psalm 32:7 (GNT)

May I pray?

Lord, we want to be wanted and needed and loved. But many of us don’t think anyone could really want or love us if they knew the truth about us. And so we hide it. We put on a mask. We try to be who we think they want. And pretty soon we’re depressed, tired and empty because we don’t know who we are anymore. This isn’t the way life is supposed to be. God, please meet us in this lonely place today. Let us come hide with You. Please help us take off our mask, unlock our secrets, and take a step forward as the real us. Without the mask, and with You by our side. Amen.

Q4U: What mask are you wearing?

A Room Full of Secrets

Posted on December 12, 2011 by Joy

Have you ever walked into a room full of people knowing you didn’t want to be there? Maybe it was a work conference and you longed to be back home with your family. Maybe people were talking about things you didn’t care about but you didn’t want to pipe up and risk turning their attention to you. Maybe you felt like you didn’t belong in that crowd and you wanted to crawl into a corner.

The last thing we want is for people to start asking questions about us.

We’ve all had times when we were in a situation that we wanted to escape. Often it’s because we don’t want to reveal too much about ourselves. It’s fine if someone else is in the spotlight. It’s fine if we’re talking about superficial things like work, restaurants or hobbies. But when people start talking about real life––failures of the past, struggles in the present, broken dreams of the future––it’s time to find an out.

Why? Because no matter how cordial we want to be, we know that when the conversation turns to us we’ll only have two choices. Lie or tell our secret.

Recently, I was listening to a young woman tell her story. She had been sexually abused by her stepfather for over 10 years starting at a very young age. She never told anyone about it during that time. He told her that this is how special daughters were treated. And he made threats about what would happen to her, her mother and her dog. But one day when she was 14 this girl’s mother asked if the stepfather had ever hurt her. It was as if a light bulb turned on and she knew instantly that what had been happening to her was wrong. And she knew this was her one chance to tell.

Thankfully, her mother believed her.

Unfortunately, her life was torn apart. She was taken to child protective services. She and her mother had to go into hiding because they feared for their lives. Many people didn’t believe her. They lost family and friends. They lost their home. And then her stepfather committed suicide. It was all her fault, she thought.

So she hid her secret deep down inside once again.

She was in a new town and at a new school, and no one knew anything about what had happened to her. Several years later, she went to a week-long summer camp. On the last day the kids had an opportunity to get up and tell about how Jesus changed their life. For the first time, she had the courage to stand up and tell her story of abuse, desperation and heartbreak. Kids, pastors, and counselors all listened.

When she got home from camp, she started receiving letters from kids at the camp (girls and boys) who heard her story. They each had their own secret. Secrets they had never told anyone. She started writing back to them one at a time, and encouraging them to find someone they could trust. Someone they could tell. Because she knew that opening the door to the dark secrets lets the truth come out. And the truth would set them free.

As I listened to her story, I thought about my own.

What resonated with me was the power of uncovering our secrets. As we open up about our past and tell others what has happened to us and what we’ve done, we let light and fresh air into the darkness within. We uncover our wounds so healing can begin. And our vulnerability gives other people the courage and opportunity to tell their secrets for the first time.

Next time you’re in a crowded room, take a look around. It’s a room full of secrets. We all have them. Many of us are still wounded by them. Many of us are still afraid of them.

What should we do with our secrets? First turn to God, then turn to others. God can heal us from the past. He can redeem our lives and make us new. He will work through us to help others when we reveal our truth. By letting truth reign in our lives, we can show others that we understand where they’ve been. Because we’ve been there too.

Unlock your secrets and bring them to God. Then pray and ask Him who you can trust. Find someone to help you. Your journey to new life will be a light of hope for someone else who is hiding secrets.

“Redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.” Psalm 31:5

May I pray?

Father God, You are the God of truth. And the truth will set us free. So many of us are afraid to tell the truth of what has happened. Sometimes we’ve been threatened. Most times we believe that other people will think less of us or not want to be around us if they know the truth of where we’ve been. Lord, You can redeem our lives from the pit of darkness and fear. Lead us today to someone we can trust. May our brokenness be used to encourage others as we walk this journey to new life. In Your holy and powerful Name I pray. Amen.

Q4U: Will you talk to God about who you can trust with hidden secrets?

3 Truths About Pain

Posted on December 9, 2011 by Joy

What’s the worst thing about pain? For me, simply, it hurts. Whether it’s the emotional pain of a broken heart or lost hope, or the physical pain of a broken bone or healing wound, pain hurts. It can be intense. It can be overwhelming. It can bring us to the point of tears and desperation, no matter how strong we are. Sometimes we want to fight through pain. Sometimes we want to dull it with medication. Most times we just want it to go away.

There was a man named Jabez whose mother named him this because she gave birth to him in pain (his name sounds like the Hebrew word for pain). The Bible says that Jabez cried out to God, “Oh, that You would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!” And God granted him his request.” (1 Chronicles 4:10 NLT).

I’m not sure what’s more spectacular. That Jabez asked to be kept from all trouble and pain, or that God granted his request.

We’re told that Jabez was an honorable man, and maybe he had endured more pain in his life than we can fathom. If so, I can understand praying that God would prevent all future pain. When I’m in pain I certainly pray that God helps me. But I can’t imagine praying that all trouble and pain for the rest of my life would be taken away. Why not? Because I know that hardship and pain have played a huge role in molding me into who I am today. I’m not saying I’m tough as nails and I’m not saying that God causes pain. I’m just saying that I know God uses pain in all of our lives.

3 Things We Know About Pain

1. We don’t like pain. Plain and simple. It hurts. Whether the pain is emotional, physical or both, we don’t want pain to continue. It prevents us from doing our normal daily activities. It takes the joy out of life. It challenges what we’re made of.

2. Pain pulls us closer to God. When we’re in pain, we’re willing to do just about anything to get out of pain. For many of us, it’s in our times of pain that we turn to God. We’re desperate for relief but we can’t get relief on our own. And we turn to God for help. We know we can’t heal ourselves so we go to the source of healing. God may not always heal us physically, but if we open our hearts to Him, He will always heal us spiritually.

3. Pain makes us stronger. Pain changes us. As pain increases or is prolonged, our tolerance for pain increases. What we thought we couldn’t endure before becomes something we’re enduring now. But even though pain can be a physical battle, enduring pain is a battle of wills. If we give in to pain, it will tear us down. If we stand in God’s strength with the support of loving family and friends, pain will build us up. Our will to live and our fighting spirit to endure pain and overcome it become an inspiration to others.

I will never wish pain on anyone else, and I will never pray that God brings pain or a painful situation into my life. I’ve had enough already! But I also won’t pray that God will keep me from all trouble and pain in the future. If pain and trials are what it takes to keep me in check and keep me coming back to God, then they have a valid place in my life.

I will pray for relief and help when I’m in pain. And I will also pray that God’s will be done for His glory in the midst of that pain. For growth in my life or someone else’s.

May we reach out to someone in pain today and let them know how much we love them and admire their fighting spirit. And may God use that pain to draw all of us closer to Him.

“Consider it pure joy, my [friends], whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” James 1:2-3

May I pray?

God, pain is not something that was part of Your original plan. But it’s now a real part of real life. Grant us strength to endure. Grant us courage to turn to You and to others for support as we fight through it. If it’s Your will, please heal us and take today’s pain away. And please, Lord, use our pain to mold us. May we rest in Your mighty right hand knowing that You turn all things for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Amen.

Q4U: How have you persevered and grown through pain?

Top 10 Reasons to Smile

Posted on December 8, 2011 by Joy

How often do you smile? When things are going well, most of us find that smiling and laughing come naturally. But when we’re tired, stressed or just not happy,smiles can be few and far between.

We don’t think about smiling. But according to Dr. Mark Stiblich, we should. Here’s why:

Top 10 Reasons to Smile

1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive. We’re drawn to people who smile. There’s an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what’s so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces push people away. But a smile draws them in. Smile often and you’ll draw people to you. If nothing else, they’ll wonder what you’re up to.

2. Smiling Changes Our Mood. Next time you’re feeling down, try putting on a smile. There’s a good chance your mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Smiling Is Contagious. When someone is smiling, they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and people around you will smile.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress. Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you’re stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress will be reduced and you’ll be ready to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System. Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves because you’re relaxed. Prevent colds and the flu by smiling.

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure. When you smile, there’s a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have access to a blood pressure monitor. Sit for a few minutes and take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. The difference is noticeable.

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers, And Serotonin. The body produces endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin, and together these three natural chemicals make us feel good. Studies have shown that smiling releases all three. Smiling is a natural prescription for feeling good.

8. Smiling Lifts The Face And Makes You Look Younger. The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making us appear younger. Don’t go for a face lift. Just try smiling your way through the day. You’ll look younger instantly!

9. Smiling Makes You Look Successful. Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and are more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments, and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive. Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It’s hard. When we smile our brain sends the rest of our body a message that “Life is Good!” Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.

Smiling not only benefits us, it benefits the people we interact with each day. Even if they can’t see us. How? People can hear us smiling through our voice. That’s why DJ’s and other on-air personalities are actually taught how to smile while they speak into the microphone. Try this: say a sentence to your friend on the phone without smiling. Then say the same sentence with a genuine smile and see how it comes across. You’ll be amazed at the difference in your voice and attitude when you smile while speaking. You can brighten someone’s day with a smile, even if they’re a thousand miles away.

So in the words of Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island, “Smiles, everyone! Smiles!”

“‘What a relief to see your friendly smile. It is like seeing the face of God!’” Genesis 33:10 (NLT)

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, thank You for creating us with the ability to smile! We don’t use it enough! Help us to take a light-hearted approach to smiling today and test out the Top 10 Reasons to Smile. Help us to bless the people we come in contact with today through our smiles. Encourage us through the smiles of others. And may we never forget the power of a smile to change any situation. For when we smile, we truly are reflecting You. Amen.

Q4U: What’s the best reason to smile?

Yes You Can!

Posted on December 7, 2011 by Joy

What is something you want to do, but you’re just not sure you can? I would venture to say that we all have at least one thing. It could be related to testing our limits. Like skydiving, bungee jumping, or riding in a hot air balloon. It could be related to performing. Like singing in a band, speaking to a large group of people, or taking a role in a community play. It could be related to our dreams. Like going back to school, quitting our job to stay home with the kids, or starting a new business.

No matter what our “thing” is, there’s a common denominator between all of us. Fear.

Why don’t we think we can do it? Because we’re afraid. Afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of looking ridiculous. Afraid of messing up. Afraid of freezing up. Afraid of chickening out in front of other people. Afraid of disappointing someone. Afraid of making the wrong decision. Afraid of the unknown.

Afraid of failing.

We don’t try things we’d like to try. We don’t step out for fear we’ll take a wrong step. We convince ourselves that the risk is greater than the reward, even when the risk is miniscule.

Albert Einstein, arguably one of the smartest men to ever live, once said, “The person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” Einstein struggled with failure. Some reports indicate that as a child he couldn’t speak sentences until the age of 9 and his parents thought he was retarded. He failed his first University Entrance Exam. He was challenged by leading scientists as he challenged them and their theories. But he never gave up. This genius knew that the outcome wouldn’t be success or failure. The outcome would be a leap higher than where he was before.

Here’s truth: Failure isn’t trying something and not succeeding. Failure is not trying it at all.

Each time we try something and don’t achieve the intended outcome, we learn what not to do. We learn what doesn’t work. And we’re one step closer to finding out what does. We learn what to try next time.

Our culture is so caught up in appearances and success that many of us are terrified to try something new. What if we’re not good at it? What if someone is better? What if we look stupid? What if we get scared? What if…?

But what if we are good at it? What if this could be a turning point in our life? What if we have the thrill of a lifetime and can share pictures to prove it?

Here’s the line of questions we should be asking ourselves: Why not try it? What do I really have to lose? What’s the worst thing that could happen? Instead of convincing ourselves not to try something new, let’s pray for guidance and step out in faith as God leads.

If God’s in it, then go!

Get excited. Lean on God for strength. Ask a friend to encourage you, especially when fear starts creeping in. Be in the Word daily to hear from God. Speak confidently even if you feel unsure. Smile and let endorphins do their job!

Look at yourself in the mirror and boldly proclaim, “Yes you can!”

Some of us want to cross something off our bucket list. Some of us want to start moving in a different direction. Some of us just want to get through the current storms of life. No matter where we are, if we’re standing on the Rock of Christ we can do anything. No fear!

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

May I pray?

God, You alone can fill us with strength and peace. And through You we can truly do all things. Lord, encourage us today to bring our requests to You. Whether we want to experience the thrill of adventure, or pursue a dream, or find the strength to endure a continuing hardship, You are waiting for us to come to You. May we trust You as we stand boldly today and proclaim, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Yes, I can!” Amen.

Q4U: What is something you want to do, but you’re just not sure you can?

Front Row Parking and Other Needs

Posted on December 6, 2011 by Joy

What do you need today? If someone were to ask me, I’d probably say more time, more money, or less stress. Not really things you can put on a Christmas list. So if they pressed me and said, “Today, specifically what do you need?” I’d have to think about it.

A few days ago I could have answered that question very quickly. I needed a parking spot.

Do you ever get stuck going around and around in parking lots and garages looking for a place to park? My boyfriend and I were going out for sushi Saturday night. The restaurant is one of our favorites, but it’s in a town center with lots of restaurants. And far too few garages and parking spaces. We had a full day so by the time we headed over there it was prime time for mass crowds. It could take way too long to find a place to park.

So as we neared the town center I started praying for a parking spot.

It may seem odd to pray for something as trivial as parking, but why not? God can part the seas and raise the dead back to life. Certainly He can provide parking. As I was praying, my boyfriend laughed (not a rude laugh, just an amused chuckle). I told him the story Lon Solomon tells about various trips to the shopping mall with his boys. Every time they went to the mall they prayed out loud for a good parking space. And every time they prayed, Jesus answered.

Lon loved to tell about the amazing front row spots he and his kids got. Because they prayed.

I finished telling the story as we began pulling into the parking garage. My boyfriend said, “Well, if I see a car levitating I’ll know your prayer worked.” And I said, “We won’t need to see a car levitating because Jesus knew our need before we asked for it and the spot is already empty.”

And wouldn’t you know, as we pulled around the first curve on the main level of the packed garage, there it was. Right by the exit to restaurant row. One open spot. Waiting for us.

My response as we pulled in?

First, I said, “Thank You, Jesus!” and gave Him a high-five in the air. Then I turned to my beau and said, “See, I told you so.” Yeah, who’s laughing now!

Out of respect and full disclosure, it’s important for me to tell you that my boyfriend loves Jesus and fully believes He can do anything. In fact, he’s a real prayer warrior. But like many of us, he has never prayed for something like a parking space and wouldn’t think to bring a request like that to God. Why? Because it doesn’t seem to be a real need. Not like food, clothing, resolution to conflicts, or the mortgage payment. Those are needs. But a parking space?

Here’s the thing: Jesus wants to be involved in every aspect of our life. Even going to dinner and parking. He wants us to be including Him and bringing Him into the situation. And He loves to bless us and show us His power. So if we’re turning to Him and asking for something in His will, in His name, and for His glory, expect that He will answer.

Yes, my asking for a parking space benefits me. But the real blessing is to be able to tell the story of God’s power and answer to such a menial prayer! God is so good. He can do so much more than we will ever ask or imagine. It’s time to start asking and praising Him in the process!

I would be remiss if I didn’t share what Jesus did after that. Two more times Jesus gave us front row parking as we shopped and then went to lunch the next day after church. Each time we talked about the parking spot prayer, and each time we praised Jesus for His power and His answer.

We all have big things that need prayer. Some we pray ourselves, some we hope others are praying for us. God hears every prayer. He’s working behind the scenes and will answer in His way and in His timing, for His glory.

But God also wants us to pray the little things. The “lesser” needs. Because it includes Him in our every day details and turns our thoughts to Him. Pray your lesser needs today. Thank God for hearing your prayers. And remember to give praise to Jesus when He answers.

“You can ask for anything in My name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.” John 14:13 (NLT)

May I pray?

Jesus, You have the power to calm storms, heal the sick, and raise dead people to life. You certainly have the power to handle our smallest requests. Help us to take a different perspective today. Instead of weighing what we want and only bringing the biggest issues to You, help us to think about what we would want if we were You. Lord, if we were You, we would want our children to bring every desire and need to us so we could bless them. And You want the same thing. Sometimes answers to the little requests are even more of a blessing because it shows how much You truly do care about us. I praise You for Your love and for giving us so much, even when we forget to thank You. Amen.

Q4U: What is one of your “lesser” needs that you haven’t brought to Jesus?

Where Are You When I Need You?

Posted on December 5, 2011 by Joy

Why is it that when we need someone the most, they seem to disappear? Is it because we need more than they can give? Is it because we need more than we communicate, and they don’t pick up on the silent cues? Is it because we don’t really matter to them?

Or could it be that we’re asking the wrong person to help?

If we could watch a replay of our lives and our most critical times of need, who would be there by our side? Family? Friends? Strangers who were like good Samaritans? What about God?

Would God be there?

Sometimes it feels like even He has abandoned us. We don’t see Him. We don’t hear Him. We don’t feel His presence. We’re crying out but there’s no answer. If God loves us, where is He?

It makes me think of the story by an anonymous author called Footprints.

FOOTPRINTS

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. “LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.”

The LORD replied, “My precious, precious child. I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

In our darkest times, we are not alone. God is carrying us through. When our burdens begin to crush us, He’s there supporting the weight. When we feel like we can’t hold on any longer, God’s hands are below us ready to break the fall.

We can’t always see, hear or feel God because often we cut Him off. We shut Him out. We turn away. We turn to others. We doubt. We’re blinded by fear. We spin in the crazy cycles of life. We begin to sink in turmoil or crisis.

But if we turn to Jesus, we are not on sinking sand. We’re standing on the immovable Rock of salvation. So no matter how hard the storms of life blow, we will not be shaken. If we put our trust in God and put our life in His hands, He will protect us and provide for us. Always.

Looking back at the replay of our lives, we’ll all have times of darkness, loneliness, hardship and crisis. In those times, we’ll see just one set of footprints in the sand. And we’ll know that God carried us through.

And if we’ll let Him, God can use us to help carry someone else in their time of need.

If you have a friend who’s struggling today, think of how you can serve them. Some of the smallest acts of kindness can have huge impact. Be a shoulder they can cry on. Bring them a special treat (like peppermint mocha available any time of year) and just listen as they talk. Smile and encourage them. Help them to laugh again. Pray over them. Do errands or tasks around the house that seem overwhelming to them.

We can be the hands and feet of Jesus if we allow Him to work through us to help others.

“I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5 (GNT)

May I pray?

Lord, there are times we feel completely alone, and often it’s during our biggest struggles. Thank You for always being by our side. Thank You for carrying us when we’re too weary to walk on our own. In those times, help us to turn to You. Help us to see You, hear You and feel Your presence. We need reassurance that You’re with us. May we trust in You knowing that You will never leave us. Ever. And today, if we know of a sister in need, may You work through us to help carry her. Amen.

Q4U: What can you do to help a friend today?

Who Are You Following?

Posted on December 2, 2011 by Joy

Who do you follow? The truth is that on any given day, we follow a lot of people. We follow friends on Facebook. We follow celebrities on Twitter. We follow fast cars in the fast lane going to work, and we stay up close if they’re not going fast enough. If we’re in a race, we follow the guy ahead of us until we’re ready to make our move.

In our families, we follow our parents’ rules and examples. At work, we follow proven winners willing to mentor and lead us to the next level. And for those of us who are adventure types, we follow trailblazers who dare to go where others have never gone before.

We follow people we like or admire. We follow people who lead. We follow people who push limits. We follow people who envision what we cannot. We follow people who have what we want.

We follow people who are where we want to be.

Why do we follow others? To stay connected. To feel important. To learn something new. To not be left out or left behind. To achieve more than we could ever achieve on our own.

So when it comes to religion, who do you follow?

It’s an important question because when we follow someone, we do what they do. We go where they go. And we’re going to end up like them. The bottom line is that our life on earth is going to end in death. That’s a given. But what happens after that? That’s where people start seeking religion. Some religions have stringent requirements about who can join them. Some religions have rules and regulations about what to do, and when, in order to get better standing in the next life. And all religions have some leader, past or present, that everyone in that group is aspiring to be like.

But there’s only one leader who has risen from the dead and is still alive today. Jesus.

I want to be like Jesus. I want what Jesus has. So I follow Him. I don’t want to join any group that worships dead people or follows rules written by dead people. Those leaders are dead. Why would I want to follow them?

Here’s the great thing about Jesus: He tells it like it is.

First, Jesus says that our eternal life is not about religion. Jesus tells us up front that, on our own, we can never be holy enough to get into heaven. Memorizing prayers or verses won’t give us a secret code to unlock the pearly gates. We can’t buy our way to eternal life by giving to a church. We can’t get into heaven based on what family we’re born into. There isn’t a “good deed meter” that will signal when we’ve done enough to secure our eternity among the clouds. Going to heaven, i.e. securing our eternal future, isn’t based on how good or how bad we’ve been. It’s based on Jesus. He is God. He is holy. And when we’re under His covering, we become holy. That’s how we get into heaven.

Second, Jesus tells us how to come under His covering. By entering into a relationship with Him. Jesus knows us. He loves us. He wants to share intimately with us. But a relationship takes two. It takes us. Jesus wants us to know Him. As we get to know Him, we begin to love Him. As our love grows, we trust Him and turn to Him first. We open up to Him and share intimately with Him. He lives in us. We live in Him. He leads. We follow. And when we take our last breath here on earth, He will take us to His home. Heaven.

So who are you following? Where are they now? And where can they take you?

“‘Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead!’” Mark 16:6 (NLT)

May I pray?

Jesus, we follow a lot of people. But it’s hard to follow You. We don’t always hear You because we’re listening to other people. We don’t always see You because we’re trying to keep up with the people we want to be like. Stop us in our tracks today. Help us to tune out the distractions and the noise of our daily life so we can truly assess where we are. Help us to take a long, hard look at who we’re following and where that path is leading. Lord, please help us to start taking steps toward You. You alone are God. You alone can bring us to heaven. You alone can transform our life as we grow in relationship with You. Amen.

Q4U: Who are you following, and where do you hope they’ll take you?

Do We Limit God?

Posted on December 1, 2011 by Joy

Typically I start each blog by asking a question. But if I start with today’s question, “Do we limit God?”, then today’s blog would go something like this:

Do we limit God? Yes. May I pray?

And that would be it. Some of you may prefer a short blog that gets right to the point, but leave it to me to expound. Since the answer is “Yes, we limit God”, I’m changing it up. My new question is this:

How do we limit God?

Yikes! That takes a bit more effort. So fill up another cup of coffee and let’s think about it. How do we limit God? Here are three ways:

1. We put God in a box. We confine God to our limitations. What we know, what we see, what we understand, what we assume. We don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes. We don’t know what other people are thinking or doing. We don’t know how others will react. And so we worry. We plot. We investigate and snoop. We crumble. We do all kinds of things and make decisions on our own. We’re in the driver’s seat of our life and we struggle. And then we pray to God based on our limitations. We’re asking Him for things to help us in our daily life. Here’s the thing. There’s nothing wrong with asking God for help with everyday issues. In fact, He wants us to do that. But what if we started opening up our life and our struggles to Him without limits? What if instead of praying, “Lord, please help me do a good job in this presentation today,” we prayed, “Lord, please shine Your light through me today so others may see You for Your glory.” Or what if instead of praying, “Lord, please bring him back to me,” we prayed, “Lord, please bring him to You.” God can do so much more than what we ask or imagine. If we’ll let go of our limitations and allow Him to take control based on His limitless power, we’ll start seeing Him work in a whole new way. That brings us to #2.

2. We forget what God has done in the past. We get so wrapped up in our current stresses and struggles that we forget about God’s ultimate power. He has shown His strength and power over and over again for thousands of years. And to prove His miracles aren’t a fluke, God does them more than once. Like parting large bodies of water: God parted the Red Sea and the Jordan River at flood stage so that millions of people and their livestock could walk to the other side on dry land. Like raising dead people to life: Jesus called Lazarus to life after 4 days in a tomb, and then Jesus Himself was resurrected after unlocking the chains of sin and death. Like healing people who had been crippled or suffered from leprosy or had uncontrollable bleeding for decades. With a word or a touch, Jesus healed person after person after person. Lives were changed. Families were changed. But God hasn’t changed. He still has the same power today that He’s displayed through millennia. He still works miracles today. He still transforms lives. He still heals––physically, emotionally, spiritually. He is still willing and able to show His power for His glory. Not to boast. But to turn our heart and our trust back to Him.

3. We forget who He is. We think of God as a far away mystic who has more important things to do than to deal with our petty issues. We forget that God has no limits. God is Elohim, the Creator. He created heaven and earth and everything in them. God is El Shaddai, the All-Sufficient One. He can and will provide for every need in every situation. God is El Elyon, God Most High. He alone is in control of all things. God is Jehovah-rapha, the LORD Who Heals. He has the power to heal fully, and He will always renew our spiritual health if we surrender to Him. God is Jehovah-sabaoth, the LORD of Hosts. He is our deliverer, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. All of the names we can use to call upon God show His character. Who He is to the core. And in all of them we see a common thread: God is love. He is the very essence and fullness of love. He lives and forgives with an unconditional love we can’t fully comprehend. And His desire is that we would love Him for who He is. Abba, our Father.

Do we limit God? Yes. But we can change that. By opening up to Him. By letting go of what we’re trying to control or hold onto. By remembering His unending power that never changes. By getting to know Him for who He really is, and growing in love in the process.

And most importantly, by not just believing He is God, but truly believing that He can and will do mighty works in us and in our life. No holds barred. It’s time to let go and let God.

Believe with hopeful, childlike faith. And let our Father amaze you.

“Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit.” Psalm 147:5

“You are the God who performs miracles; You display Your power among the peoples.” Psalm 77:14

May I pray?

Father God, You want us to stop limiting You by our limited thinking. You want to amaze us. You want us to believe and trust in You with all our heart. You want us to love You without limits. Lord, Your power cannot be contained. Your understanding has no boundaries. And You are trustworthy. Help us to remember not just what You have done throughout the ages, but what You have done for us. Provision. Protection. Small miracles that we know were just that: miracles. May we turn to You today with hope. You are Abba. You are faithful. And You will transform our life when we let go. Amen.

Q4U: How do you limit God?