Author Archives: Joy

Burning Down The House – Temptation

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Have you ever seen a house or apartment building on fire? It’s a scary scene. Flames and black smoke spewing from the roof and windows. People jumping as they try to escape. Rescuers frantically searching for anyone caught inside. As a bystander, you helplessly watch as destruction takes over. The once pristine structure is headed for ruin.

This is a picture of what happens when we give in to temptation. When we play with fire we get burned. And the whole house may go up in flames.

Yesterday we looked at the closing doors of opportunity. Today it’s time to go behind the closed doors of temptation.

Temptation. All of us will face temptation of one kind or another. And we will never outgrow it. Temptations will be tailor-made to what we can’t resist at that stage of our life. Whereas doors of opportunity are closed by someone else, we’re often the ones closing the doors of temptation behind us. We go in willingly, but then darkness sets in. It’s hard to see clearly when light is covered up. Or gone all together. We don’t want anyone to see us in that place of temptation. And certainly not God. We’re weak and we know it. And we like what we’re doing in the moment.

Unfortunately the aftermath of temptation destroys us. Maybe all at once. Maybe bit by bit.

The door may be closed and locked behind us, but there’s always an option in temptation. There’s always a way to escape the burning house. Turning to God. He is our strength. He is our shield. He alone can transform us from the inside out.

He alone can transform our life.

God knows about temptation. Jesus spent 40 days in the desert without food or water as He was tempted by Satan. Jesus was alone, exhausted, starving, dehydrated, and extremely hot. For an entire month plus ten days. And yet He didn’t give in. At any time during that 40 days He could have zapped Satan off the face of the earth and ended the temptation. But He didn’t. He didn’t use any miracles or almighty power to fight. Instead, He used God’s Word as a sword to cut through lies and claim victory in truth. Why?

To show us that we can do it too. And to show us how.

When we shut the door of temptation behind us and start to give in, the truth is that God always opens a window. And sometimes that window opens once we pick up our sword.  God never puts us in a place that others haven’t been before. He never allows us to be tempted more than we can handle. But we have to make the decision to stand up and get out. The question isn’t whether or not we’re strong enough to stand up to the temptation. The question is: When the house of temptation is burning, are we willing to jump out the window or will we go down in flames?

We have a choice. It’s not an easy choice to make in the heat of the moment. So it’s important to have an evacuation plan. Either a person we call, a Scripture we memorize to wield our weapon of truth, or somewhere we physically get up and go so that we stand up to the temptation and get out of the house before the fire overtakes us. We may have to practice our evacuation plan day after day as we make our choice to escape the flames. And that’s ok. Each time we make the choice and follow through with our evacuation plan, we get a little bit stronger. A little bit more confident. A little bit wiser. But let’s not ever forget: Temptation will come knocking on our door again.

When the door of temptation closes behind us, it’s time to put our evacuation plan in action. And if the only way out is an open window, jump! God will be there to catch us, even if we can’t see through the smoke. Better to be bruised from the fall than to go down in flames.

“If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (NLT)

May I pray?

God, it feels like darkness is overpowering us when the doors of temptation start closing. We want to trust You, but we can’t see clearly. We’ve given in to temptation as we’ve tried to find an escape from our troubles. And sometimes we’ve made such bad decisions that now our temptations have locked us behind closed doors. Jesus, You know all about temptation. Please rescue us today! Give us a verse of Scripture that we can hold onto like a sword. Please fill us with the courage to jump if the house is burning down around us. Amen.

Q4U: What door of temptation has closed you in, and what step can you take today to turn to God for help?

The Closing Doors of Opportunity

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Do you ever feel stir crazy? Like you’ve been stuck in the house for so long because it’s dreadfully hot out, or raining for weeks, or cold as the dickens, and you just can’t watch one more re-run or one more reality show without pulling your hair out?

It might actually be more exciting to watch paint dry.

We’ve all been there. Feeling like a cage animal. Ready to plot and execute our escape. There’s so much pent up energy that we’re ready to burst out on the scene. Any scene. Just get us out of here already!

We don’t like being restricted. We don’t like being stuck behind closed doors when life worth living is out on the other side.

Sometimes these pent up feelings emerge as the doors of opportunity close on us and the storms of real life begin to swirl. Dark walls close in around us. Adrenaline rushes as our options blow away. And pangs of fear and desperation pulse through our veins. Escape is our only hope of survival.

Other times fiery emotions surface in the heat of temptation. We can’t handle the tantalizing allure. We know what we should do but it’s not what we want to do. And it’s easy to start justifying our actions as an acceptable desire to experience life to the fullest. We can’t escape now anyway. Even if we wanted to.

Two completely different scenarios: Opportunity and Temptation

With one thing in common: The door representing options is closing.

Tomorrow we’ll go behind the closed doors of temptation. Today let’s focus on the closing doors of opportunity.

Opportunity. When the door of opportunity begins to close, our first reaction is to jam our foot in there to stop it. We can’t see what’s ahead. We can’t handle any more turmoil. Many times we feel like “this” is our only option. A job we can’t afford to lose. A relationship that keeps us from being alone. “This” is better than nothing. And when “this” comes to an end, we’re left in a state of complete panic.

But the truth is that there’s always one more option. Turning to God. He is our provider. He is in control. He knows the rest of our story. And He always has something else planned for us. So when one door closes, it’s not the end. We don’t need to escape. We’re at a new beginning.

God will open up another door.

It may not be simultaneously. And life beyond the new door may not look exactly the same as our old life. But in the end it will be far better, as long as we open ourselves up to new opportunities and embrace the possibilities God offers.

With opportunity, there’s always an open door policy. A next door will be opening. But there are two important questions. First, what door will be opening? We can’t always predict what door will open, but if we’re learning to follow the Lord, it will be the right door. Second, will we be ready to go through it? If we stay in step with God, He will lead us to the new door in His perfect timing.

How do we follow God and stay in step with Him?

Jesus says, “Knock and the door will be opened.” That doesn’t mean knock once on your closed door and then go pout in the corner of life because the door didn’t open up again. What Jesus means is keep knocking on His door. Keep coming to Him. Get to know Him through His Word and prayer. And let the time of waiting be a time of renewal. Then He will take your hand and lead you to the next door. And what joy there will be when it opens into a new season of life!

When the door of opportunity closes, turn to God and trust Him to show you the next door that will open. It will be the right one.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7

May I pray?

Jesus, we don’t like when doors close in our life. We don’t like forced change. We’re not prepared. We’re already tired and worn out. We can easily feel frantic and defeated. Lord, help us come to You first instead of running around trying to find another door to go through right away. Please help us to knock on Your door and sit with You for a while. Then we’ll be ready when You show us the door to our next season. Amen.

Q4U: What door of opportunity has closed in your life, and what step can you take today to turn to God for help?

In Her Own Words… Anonymous

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I prefer to remain anonymous. This is my story…

Do you remember the Talking Heads song “Once in a Lifetime”? David Byrne sings, “You may ask yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?’” That’s what I woke up asking myself so many times. “How did I GET here?” Only I wasn’t in a shotgun shack, whatever that is. I just woke up one day completely unable to feel anything. I was numb. My emotions were gone. I had been living a lie for so long that I didn’t know who I was anymore. At the time, I had been married about seven years.

Before we married, my husband was a God-fearing man who was devoted to serving the Lord and avoided pornography and alcohol. Then everything changed. He started drinking and surfing websites on our honeymoon, and within a year he had given up following the Lord and stopped praying with me. Instead, he began “playing video games” in his spare time. All that time in front of the computer was not video games, if you catch my drift. According to the Wonderful World of Disney, we were supposed to live happily ever after. But my reality was far different. We had three children together but nothing pulled him from his destructive choices.

As the years passed by, I learned that when I tried to talk about our relationship needing work, it triggered him to drink. As with most addicts, they continually find ways to blame YOU for their problem. Over time, I shut down. Until one day when I met another man. All of a sudden, I was important to someone. I made him laugh and I never had to explain my jokes. He just “got me”. We felt so connected. Oh, what a dangerous pit I was in. What’s worse: I knew what I was getting into and I did it anyway. You see, I wanted to deceive myself. I wanted to pretend things were different than they really were. Why do we fool ourselves? Our human nature just plain wants to feel good, no matter what the cost.

I set up a façade, in my appearance and to cover my secret life. I dyed my hair a completely different color and turned my back on the Lord and on my family. Why? Because I had to escape. Believing and hoping in God to deliver my husband from his alcohol and pornography addictions hadn’t worked. Our marriage was an emotionally abusive relationship. I was so far down in the darkness, and sometimes I would pray that he would hit me so I had a reason to end it. “One punch and I’m out of here,” I would tell myself.

Then the unthinkable happened. I got pregnant. And it wasn’t by my husband. The baby was conceived in my affair. The guy wanted me to end the pregnancy, but I couldn’t.

I kept telling my husband the baby was his and at first he bought it. But during my fifth month of my pregnancy, my husband confronted me about the baby. I couldn’t bear the weight of the lies anymore so I told him that it wasn’t his child. He gave me an ultimatum: Give up the child for adoption or end the marriage now. It didn’t take me long to realize adoption was the right thing to do. Everything else I had done was such an awful decision, but something in me was proud that this was the right thing to do. No child was going to pay for my sin. I was ready to face whatever came.

Once I decided on adoption, I somehow thought all of our marital problems would be resolved. Of course we would go into counseling and dig deep. We could find those things that tore us apart and face reality and have the fairytale marriage! A few days before our first joint session, my husband went on a two week drinking binge. He told me that he didn’t have a problem, it was me. Why should he see a counselor? I was the one who lied to him, deceived him, had an affair, had another man’s baby. All of our problems were my fault. I caused him to be an alcoholic.

I would love to say it became apparent early on that my husband didn’t want to get well, but it didn’t. I still believed the Lord would heal him, deliver him and restore him. It took many more years, countless sleepless nights, his continual drinking binges, and several motorcycle accidents for me to realize he wasn’t going to stop drinking.

Do you know the story of when Jesus saw a crippled man and, before healing him, Jesus asked if the man wanted to get well? (See John 5:1-8) What an odd question, “Do you want to get well?” After 13 years of marriage to my husband, he told me he didn’t want to get well. And as the situation deteriorated, the safety of our children and myself became an issue. So one night when he was passed out during a binge, I packed a few bags and we left.

I wanted so much to believe that God could heal my husband. After all, He’s God! With Him all things are possible! I wanted our family to be a great testimony of what God can do as long as you put your faith and trust in Him. But what happens when you do that and it turns out differently? What happens when you pray for someone to get well and they don’t? Or they die? What happens when people pray to have a child and they find out they can’t conceive? What happens, Lord? My heart aches to know.

I wish I had a great way to end my story here, but the reality is that my new life story is just beginning. The Lord blessed me with a family, it’s just not what I imagined. The Lord has protected me, only I never thought the person I would need protection from would be my own husband. The Lord has provided for me despite my decisions and all the pits I fell in.

The Lord is in control and I love Him more now than ever, even if I don’t understand the “Why?” How can that be? Because those who have been forgiven much, love much.

“‘Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.’” Luke 7:47

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, sometimes real life is too much to bear. We don’t understand why things are the way they are. We don’t understand why You don’t answer prayers the way we think they should be answered. But Lord, we praise You that when we come to You and lay our broken life before You, You take us in and hold us tight. Thank you that You don’t condemn us. You forgive us. For everything. Whether we need forgiveness for much or for little, may our lives give all the glory to You because of Your grace and mercy poured out for us. Amen.

Q4U: Do you have a Rising Above Real Life story? You can encourage others by sharing the ups and downs of your journey. Please contact me at Joy@RisingAboveRealLife.com. Names can remain confidential.

Happiness Isn’t Enough

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What makes you happy? A special person in your life? A job well done and deserved recognition through a raise or promotion? A fabulous vacation? A cute new pair of shoes? Your child’s smile? A puppy who greets you at the end of a really bad day? Something or someone else?

We all have things in our life that fill us with happiness, even if we’re down in the dumps.

The problem is that our happy tanks have a little drain at the bottom that can never be plugged up. So no matter how much happiness pours in, it’s always dripping out. Over time, as our circumstances change, we go through tough times.

And happiness isn’t filling our tanks anymore.

Our special someone leaves. We get burned out at work because of the long, grueling hours. The only thing we remember about the vacation is that we’re still paying the VISA bill. Our shoes are out of style. Our child is going through a bad stage. Our puppy now leaves a pile at the front door to greet us when we get home.

Why does everything have to be so difficult? We just want to be happy.

We talked yesterday about how one way of finding joy in our lives is to step back from our circumstances and gain the perspective of J-O-Y (Jesus-Others-Yourself). Today, I want to look at the difference between happiness and joy to find out how we can have true and complete joy. Joy that doesn’t fade. Joy that isn’t lacking anything. Joy that isn’t dependent on someone or something else in our life.

First “happiness”. Happiness is the state of being delighted, pleased or glad over a particular thing or person. Sometimes it’s tied in with good fortune or being lucky. But as we’ve seen, when the circumstances around things or people change, so does our happiness. And our happy tank starts getting low. Happiness isn’t enough to keep us happy.

When people say they just want to be happy, what they really mean is they want to find “true joy”. Joy is the state of being delighted and fully content over something exceptionally good or satisfying. True joy is joy that won’t fade over time and won’t weaken in the turmoil of life. It isn’t found in things we buy or people we know, because those change. True joy will never change and will always satisfy. And that’s because it’s based on Someone who will never change. Jesus.

We were made to experience lives full of true joy. We have a longing in our soul for it. But many of us don’t know where to find true joy, and so we go from one thing to the next, one person to the next, trying to fill up our happiness tanks. And it doesn’t last.

It’s interesting that when God talks about us being filled up, being made whole, He doesn’t say He wants us to be happy. He says He wants our joy to be complete. He wants us to experience the true joy that fills our tanks to overflowing and never drains out. A complete joy that’s found only in Him.

How do we find that joy? One word: Love.

Love Him. As our Father, He’s asking us to do and not do certain things, for our benefit and for our protection. And He’s asking us to listen to His instruction and obey Him. Of course, many of us don’t like the word “obey”. We have to understand that obeying isn’t about following rules because we’re being kept in a box. We obey God because He loves us enough to tell us what to watch out for. And we obey God because we love Him and want to show our love and respect by doing what He’s asked of us.

Love Others. Jesus said there’s one command that matters: Love. And then He challenges us to love others the way He loved us, as His friends. The reality is that we can’t do that. We won’t be carrying the sin of our friends to a cross to die a shameful, painful death so we can save them. But we can start showing our love for others. In our family, in our sisterhood, in our communities. We can honor and forgive others, no matter how they’ve hurt us. We can reach out and help others, no matter how messed up or how insignificant the world may think they are. By stepping out to show love to others, God’s love will flow through us. And that love will pour true, complete joy into our happy tanks.

Happiness isn’t enough to keep our happy tanks full. But true joy in Christ is.

“If you obey My commands, you will remain in My love… I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:10-13

May I pray?

God, thank you for showing us that there’s a difference between happiness and true joy. Happiness just isn’t enough, but most of us have never experienced true joy. Jesus, please help us to come to You and listen for Your instruction. Help us to grow in our love for You and our desire to obey You because of that love. And may we reach out to others in love, so Your love can fill us up to overflowing as we pour out to them. Amen.

Q4U: How can you reach out to someone today and show them love?

It’s Not About Me – Living With Joy

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When was the last time you encountered someone who believes the world revolves around them? They’re actually not that hard to find. We’re living during “Generation Me”, a generation of people who thinks life is all about “Me”.

Regardless of our age, we all fit into GenMe one way or another (even if it’s by six degrees of Kevin Bacon). And GenMe has some great qualities. We’re young and vivacious. We believe in honesty and living with passion for a cause, regardless of what that cause may be. But we also have deep-rooted expectations of entitlement, believing we deserve things right away and shouldn’t have to pay our dues or put time in to learn the ropes and climb the ladder. We don’t want to be bored. And we have a hard time accepting criticism because we see it as negativity or a personal attack on our dreams.

We don’t try to be self-centered. In fact, many of us actually go out of our way to put others first. So much so that we often feel like it’s never about us. Just in the last couple of weeks I’ve been complaining to God saying, “Lord, just once I want it to be about ME!”

And I think He laughs.

Because if I start looking at things from God’s perspective, I really do act like it’s all about me. I’m too busy to spend time with Him in devoted prayer. I ask Him to reveal Himself to me through His Word, but I don’t have time to sit and listen to His answer or really delve deep. Could He speak to me while I’m in the car? But then I’m on the cell phone or reading emails or texting during red lights. I’ll check in with Him again during a quick blessing at lunch and dinner. And I try to get back to quality reading time before bed, while I’m watching the news. Maybe during commercials I can mute the sound. Time for lights out, so I run down a list of prayer requests for me, my family and friends before falling asleep. Tomorrow’s another day.

How is it not all about me?

What I don’t see is that living in a repeated cycle of busyness is like being in a cyclone. I’m spinning in the storm trying to grab onto parts of my life as they swirl around me. My focus is on what’s happening in my life. Even if I’m spending time taking care of others’ needs, I’m doing it because I have to check it off the list. And my attitude toward God still reflects that it’s all about me and my lack of time, energy, and focus on Him.

There’s no joy in living like that.

We may find temporary thrill or happiness as we live for “Me”, but not lasting joy. How do we find joy? One way is by changing our perspective and priorities to J-O-Y.

J-O-Y. Jesus. Others. Yourself.

Trying to put Jesus first in our life, others second, and focus on ourselves last is a daily challenge. And this doesn’t mean that we’re diminishing our worth or should allow others to take advantage of us. It means that we prioritize our time with the Lord each day. And we show continual love and respect to others as we focus on serving them before we serve ourselves. Not because we have to. But because it brings us renewed happiness to step out of our ordinary pattern of life to help others and treat them the way we want them to treat us.

So when we’re caught up in the swirl of busyness, let’s remember it’s not about “Me” (or in my case, Joy); it’s about J-O-Y. Let’s hit pause and step back. Where are our priorities? The truth is that we’re too busy not to pray. If we’ll take the time to get grounded with Jesus, we can take our eyes off our problems and start living with joy.

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT)

May I pray?

Jesus, it’s not easy thinking we live as if it’s all about us. Compared to others, we’re not self-centered at all. But then we look at our priorities and our attitudes, especially toward You, and we see a lot of “Me”. God, please help us to take a step back today and gain perspective. Help us to see how the busyness can rule and ruin our happiness and joy. May we come to You with joy in our hearts and lay our burdens down. May we humbly be Your hands and feet today as we serve others. And may Your lasting joy reign in our lives. Amen.

Q4U: What step can you take today to start living with J-O-Y?

The Missing Puzzle Piece

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What’s the hardest jigsaw puzzle you’ve ever done? Most people have worked on at least one puzzle in their life, even if it was a small puzzle with a few huge pieces of Winnie the Pooh or numbers 1-9 when they were young. There are all kinds of cool jigsaw puzzles. Some show staged portraits of people or things. Some reflect amazing wildlife views. And some are pictures of intricate artwork that take days and even weeks to complete.

I still have the hardest puzzle I ever did. At the time it was deemed “The World’s Most Difficult Jigsaw Puzzle”. And I believe it. It’s a photograph of a modern art painting that looks like a web of paint splatters in white, black, red and yellow, with a few smudges of blue here and there. Not sure how it became a critically acclaimed and hideously expensive piece of artwork, but I know why it was the world’s most difficult puzzle. There’s no rhyme or reason or pattern to paint splatters. With a puzzle like that, you’ll never know if there’s a piece missing until the very end.

Yesterday we talked about how God chose to make each one of us unique. Today I want us to see how we’re like puzzle pieces, intricately cut and designed to fit into a grand picture.

Just like each piece of a puzzle is different, no two people will ever be exactly the same. Our likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, personality, experiences and circle of influence shape us and differentiate us from everyone else.

But often we don’t like where we fit in the puzzle. We don’t want to be us.

We want to be like someone else. We want to look like them, hang out with their friends, and have their stuff. We don’t want to be ordinary and struggling. We want to be famous and successful and live the good life. Why? It could be about escaping real life and pursuing an elusive freedom from work, stress and pain. But more likely it’s rooted in our desire to have worth. We want to be worth something. And not just to our family or friends, many of whom we also think are ordinary and struggling. We want to be valued in the world. We want a prominent place in the puzzle.

Here’s the problem: If we continue to try to be someone we’re not, our piece of the puzzle will be missing.

Each piece, each person, is different. And alone, we may not look like something spectacular. But every piece is extremely important. And our place in the puzzle is critical because we were created to fit together with those around us. God fashioned us with our specific traits and the people He places in our life so that, when we live in His will, we join together to make a completed, beautiful picture of community and grace.

If any piece is missing, the picture can never be completed.

Piece by cut-out piece, the puzzle takes form. Patterns and shapes emerge. And finally looking over the finished product, a masterpiece is revealed.

This is real life.

We feel misshapen. We feel like part of us has been cut away or lost. We feel like what our life has to show isn’t worth much compared to the glossy, well put together lives of others. But here’s truth: We were never intended to be a perfectly round or geometrically shaped puzzle piece. Then we would be ordinary, and we wouldn’t be able to lock together with other pieces. No, instead we were created as perfectly designed pieces to fit in the overall picture of our real life. We are pieces of beauty that are intricately shaped for our calling, our role in the lives of others. And when the picture is complete and we look back at the wondrous finished work, God’s glory will shine.

And we’ll be glad our piece wasn’t missing.

“We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In His grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” Romans 12:5-6 (NLT)

May I pray?

Lord, we were created by You and for You so that we could be an important piece of Your plan. But we don’t always feel like we fit in with others. And most of us have no idea what You’re calling us to do. We don’t know what our talents are. So we try this and that, and get frustrated because we feel like our piece is constantly missing. Jesus, today please help us to stop seeking our purpose and instead seek You. For it’s in You that we find our purpose and our talents. And our place in the puzzle. Amen.

Q4U: What’s an experience you’ve had when you felt like you finally found where your piece of the puzzle fit, even if it was only in one aspect of your life?

What Kind of Horse Are You?

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Have you ever taken one of those personality tests that tells you all kinds of secret and obscure things about you that aren’t so secret or obscure? One of the most well-known is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator which aims to tell people how they perceive the world and make decisions. There’s also the DiSC Assessment, Galen’s Four Temperaments, and even one test that determines if our personality is that of a lion (strong), otter (influential), golden retriever (steady), or beaver (diligent). Who knew we were so close to the animal kingdom?

Most of these tests show that we don’t fall into just one category. We’re complex. We react different ways to different situations. But they do show that we have overlying strengths and repeating weaknesses, and it’s helpful to understand these as we interact with other people.

So here’s another test. See where you fit into this: What Kind of Horse Are You?

1. Race Horse – The Thoroughbred race horse is as fast and sleek as they come. They are incredible athletes with a drive to win. But they’re also very flighty. They spook easy, and although they don’t like to be alone, they’re very picky about who they’ll stable with. They like the thrill of competition, but not necessarily the competitors. Some can be real divas.

2. Work Horse – The Quarter Horse is a solid, all-round good worker. They’re beautiful animals with a heart to please. And they do their part to keep the herd on an even keel. They’re ready each day to get the job done, but they need to have an outlet for fun (even horses want to work hard and play hard). Get the saddle out anytime because they’re always up for adventure with their closest friends.

3. Shetland Pony – The Shetland Pony is loyal and loving. It’s not that they don’t have aspirations to do great things, it’s that their definition of greatness is different than the big horses. Their calling is to spend quality time in nurturing others. Frolicking the fields and making children laugh is more rewarding than running at full speed down the race track. They’re calm and often quiet, and they want to believe the best in people.

4. Mule – Derived from breeding a horse with a donkey, the mule is often characterized as being stubborn. Because they are. If you want them to do something, you have to convince them it will benefit them. Or better yet, get them to think it’s their idea. They’re strong, they’re very capable, but they can come across bitter. Maybe they don’t feel like they really fit in. Maybe they don’t feel like they get the adoration of the other horses. But if you can get past their gruff demeanor by showing them love and respect, they will carry you through anything.

So what kind of horse are you? As with every personality test, I think I’m a combination. In many ways (including professionally), I’m a Work Horse. I do what it takes to get the job done. And I love adventure. In my personal life, I’m predominantly a Race Horse. Hard charging but easily spooked. I’ll admit, though, that there are moments when I long to be a Shetland Pony. And of course, those who know me well can attest that I have streaks of stubbornness that rival any Mule.

What’s most important in learning about our personality types is that no matter what our strengths and weaknesses may be, we all have a significant role to play in the lives of others. God created us specifically with our personality, our likes and dislikes, and our strengths and weaknesses. He did this so that we wouldn’t be like everyone else. He has made us uniquely qualified for our calling, even if we’re not sure yet what that is. As we grow in confidence and learn how to interact with others based on their strengths and weaknesses, together we can accomplish amazing things.

Now let’s go jump some fences!

I’m curious to hear what kind of horse you are and why. Please comment and let me know!

“Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out… I thank You, High God–You’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!” Psalm 139:13-14 (MSG)

May I pray?

God, thank you for creating us with our unique personality. Sometimes we wish we were fast like a race horse or strong like a work horse. Sometimes we wish we could enjoy the fields like a pony or be less sensitive like a mule. But God, You created us for a life of purpose, whether we understand that purpose right now or not. Help us to embrace the strengths You have given us as we allow Your power to flow through us in our weaknesses. May we enjoy our time in the lush pastures of life with those around us, even if we’re totally different. Amen.

Q4U: What kind of horse are you and why?

In Her Own Words… Madelyn

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My name is Madelyn and this is my story…

I grew up in the country with fields and farm lands surrounding our little neighborhood. The only commerce in our community was a gas station, a grain elevator and a small country store owned by a single woman who lived in the loft apartment above. It was a popular hangout.

Throughout my teen years, my friends practiced different philosophies and religions. We accepted each other’s views and they encouraged me to practice a belief system, any belief system, without hypocrisy. Just believe in something wholeheartedly. Anything that I felt was real and true, however I wished to define truth. The view from where I was standing as a young person trying to define my beliefs didn’t show Christianity as holding truth. Many of my peers claiming salvation through Christ abused alcohol and drugs with little regard for healthy relationships.

Although my understanding of Christianity at the time was a deception, I learned to test what I believe. I learned the concept of defending my deep convictions and knowing why. My high school years were very turbulent, but many years later as an adult the ability to test my faith eventually led me to cultivate a real relationship with Christ.

The valedictorian speech at my high school graduation ceremony was fully representative of the “Me” Generation. The world was ours and we were going to take full advantage of it, without concern for anyone else. We were given permission to fulfill our desires with gusto.

My dream was to swim with the dolphins, study whales and sharks, and discover the mysteries of the ocean. I looked forward to exploring the vast, wide open spaces unseen by others. But the enormous pressure to find a clear career path complicated my personal search for significance and security.

My parents offered little help or encouragement. Their decision making approach was based on instilling fear. For fear that I would not be able to support myself financially or find significance as a single woman, they said I should marry, and quickly, so that all the good men were not taken. They didn’t want me to end up an “old maid”. Their words were degrading and demeaning to me as a person of potential. And it didn’t make sense. I was a woman of the “Me” Generation. I was part of an emerging force not to be reckoned with. Yet with all this generational empowerment at hand, I had no clue what that meant for my life in practical terms.

As misconceptions continued floating around my system of beliefs, an equally confused young Christian man aggressively pursued my affection. We married, and as our family grew and changed, I did too.

The moment I held my first baby girl, my life changed, and so did my understanding of God’s love. I was completely enthralled with entering the new world of “mom” and I began a journey away from a selfish, full-fledged, card carrying member of the “Me” Generation. The love a parent has for her child can’t be fully explained or understood outside the experience itself. A powerful love ordained by God. A small taste of His passionate love for us. It became the catalyst that set me on a path toward truth. I discovered God’s definition for significance and purpose, desiring Him to encompass all aspects of my life. Although my husband also experienced this miraculous time in our lives, he ultimately chose to abandon God’s path.

Since the birth of my three children, there have been many defining moments. Extremely difficult choices were inevitable. Sometimes it meant simply accepting the devastating choices of others, many times crying myself to sleep, feeling hopeless, abandoned, completely rejected and unable to cope. Asking God why my beautiful children had to grow up without their father. Asking why all of us had to suffer the devastation of my husband’s harsh choices. There have been many challenges as a single mom which I am not equipped or designed for. But thankfully God is.

I didn’t discover the mysteries of the ocean, but I have discovered that our challenges have value and purpose, impacting others in ways we may never know. Christ has a plan much greater than any of us can fathom. Even in the pain and feelings of hopelessness that surround our circumstances, we connect and weave through the lives of those around us. Although we can’t see it, God’s plan is in motion. We all are the connecting threads that weave throughout the tapestry of God’s vast, beautiful creation.

We were not designed to be anything other than who God says we are: fully human, with our struggles and imperfections, in need of salvation, grace and redemption. God willingly paid an enormous price for our freedom. So go ahead, ask Him your tough questions. Express your frustrations as Habakkuk did when all seemed lost. Seek answers, pursue wisdom, be willing to unpack your bags with God, and make the choice to follow His path. He’s waiting.

“The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.” Habakkuk 3:19 (NLT)

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, thank you that You use every experience in our lives to mold who we are. We can’t fully comprehend Your love for us. A love that never changes, even when we’re still not sure what we believe about You. Please reveal Yourself to us today. May we trust in Your sovereignty and Your strength as You lead us to new heights on the mountaintops of life. Amen.

Q4U: Do you have a Rising Above Real Life story? You can encourage others by sharing the ups and downs of your journey. Please contact me at Joy@RisingAboveRealLife.com. Names can remain confidential.

Satisfaction Guaranteed–No More Diets

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Have you ever tried one of those diets where you can only eat one kind of food for a specific period of time? Like all protein, all fruits with a core, or all Twinkies (yes, that is an actual diet). If I were going to do a “one food” diet, I think I’d have to start by trying the all dark chocolate diet. It claims to be the best antioxidant diet out there. Of course, although my body may be cleared of free radicals I probably won’t shed any pounds.

Some people are fad dieters, going from one new diet to the next in a never ending search for a magic fix. Some people are chronic dieters, always limiting what they eat and almost always in a bad mood because of it. Some people drive the first two crazy by eating anything and everything, and never gaining any weight at all.

Regardless of our eating habits, many of us are chronic dieters when it comes to God and His Word.

We’ve talked before about being snackers of time with God. We grab a handful on Sunday mornings and hope it will sustain us all week. It never does. Or we take a quick bite each morning with a short passage of Scripture and a rushed prayer, and off we go to do life our way. Even the Twinkie diet provides more nourishment than that.

What’s interesting is that many people feel that religion is like dieting. It’s dry and ritualistic, and they enjoy it about as much as eating cardboard. I think they’re right.

Religion is dry, ritualistic, and tasteless.

And that’s why God doesn’t want religion. He wants a relationship. An intimate love relationship. With each one of us.

The truth is that God loves us more than anyone we’ll ever know. More than we can ever comprehend because even we can’t love someone like He does. God doesn’t want to live separate lives. He wants us to allow Him to be a part of every aspect of our life. And so He did two things. He sent His Son, Jesus, to come to earth and bridge the gap between Him and us. To let us know that He understands how hard it is to live on earth among people–people who love us, and those who don’t. And then God went a step further and sent His Holy Spirit to dwell within us so that we can know with certainty that nothing and no one will ever separate us from God. He is with us. Always.

But many of us don’t have an intimate love relationship with God.

We’ve never taken the time to get to know Jesus. We’ve turned our back and run away. We’ve starved ourselves of the one thing (one Person) that can actually fill us with true joy.

We complain about feeling empty inside as we live a life without meaningful purpose. We won’t find a church that teaches about a loving relationship with Jesus, or even read in our Bible, because we don’t want to become “one of those people” limited by Christian thinking. Again, there’s a big difference between religion and relationship with Christ.

We can’t let any fear of religion or bad experience of the past keep us from God.

And sampling all the world has to offer isn’t going to give us new life. It’s as if we’re forcing ourselves to diet by locking away the life giving, truly satisfying foods of God’s Word and time spent with Him in heartfelt prayer. All that’s left are the fancy wrappers of the things we buy to fill our voids. They look good but ultimately satisfy us as much as cardboard.

Girls, growing a relationship with Jesus doesn’t take the fun or zest out of life. Getting to know God and seeing His plan for our life unfold as we begin to walk with Him is like opening the doors to the fanciest banquet hall and seeing table after table filled with the most delicious, most extravagant, and yet healthy-as-spinach, spread of gourmet food we could ever imagine.

And God has invited you to be His honored guest.

Accept the invitation. Come fill your spirit with the buffet God has placed before you. Feast on God’s Word, don’t just nibble on it. Leave the table full for a change. See how it can strengthen you like never before. Spend time with God. Talk to Him. Cry to Him. Laugh with Him. Love your time with Him. Ask questions and really get to know Him. Let Him be a part of your everyday life. Let Him satisfy your soul like nothing else ever can.

It can start by spending an evening with Him, just the two of you, feasting on His Word.

“You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise You with songs of joy.” Psalm 63:5 (NLT)

May I pray?

Father God, we’re hungry. We crave life giving, soul satisfying, nothing compares fare. Help us to realize that we can’t find it anywhere but with You. Help us to take that first step of accepting Your invitation and spending a night together feasting on Your Word. Jesus, please open our hearts to You so we may begin to know You and love You intimately. Amen.

Q4U: Will you accept God’s invitation to spend an evening with Him feasting on His Word?

The Wilderness of Loneliness

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What does it feel like to be in complete isolation? Have you been there? Could it be that someone you know is there right now? Physically isolated, devoid of meaningful interaction even if we walk through a sea of people each day. Mentally isolated, without anyone who knows us, or even wants to. Emotionally isolated, walled off from honest, intimate connection. Spiritually isolated, doubting it all.

The wilderness of loneliness is a dark and scary place. I’ve been there.

Darkness closes in. Uncaring people rush around us and yet no one sees our face of pain. The weight of our sorrows is too heavy to bear. Hope of any significant change in our circumstances can’t penetrate the dense forest of loneliness and regret. And often there are so many questions about what happened. Why? How? When will it end? Will there ever be someone? Someone who helps? Someone who loves? Someone who cares?

We don’t always know when someone else is battling through this wilderness. But we know how impossible it feels when we are.

Sometimes in the wilderness of loneliness we’re completely alone. Sometimes there are people in proximity, but for whatever reason we’re not engaging them. Maybe we’ve been told that you don’t talk to others about private matters. Maybe we’ve never had anyone who has truly cared enough to listen. Maybe our trust has been broken in the past and we don’t want to bring on that pain again. The pain of betrayal can be worse than the pain of isolation.

No matter how long it’s been, we have to hold on. In the darkest moments in the pit, when the wilderness of loneliness is bearing down, 24 hours can make all the difference. We can’t give up. We have to see what could happen. To see what could change. To cry out to God like never before and give Him a chance to answer. Please hear my heart on this. I’m not trying to pretend that calling on God makes everything “poof” better as if He’s a fairy god-mother with a magic wand. But what I know from my agonizing days and weeks and months in the wilderness of loneliness is that we have to reach out to someone. And God truly is waiting for us to choose Him.

I can’t say how God will answer you. I can’t say how He will answer me. God doesn’t follow a script. There’s no “if–then” matrix He turns to. It’s always different. But He always responds. I just wish I knew how to expect it. To be honest, even now I struggle with periods of intense emotions when I don’t see God showing up. I cry out and feel alone. “Where are you, God? Please break Your silence. I’m desperate!”

And every time, if I’ll hold on, if I’ll continue to seek Him, if I’ll reach out and break the chains of isolation by asking others to pray for me, I can look back and see that God answered. He was with me all along. Even in the darkest hours. Then in the aftermath, as I nurse my wounds and regret how I reacted, God lovingly shows me my lack of trust in Him. And He forgives me.

Each time I learn more about how to stand firm in my trust.

More than anything, God wants us to love Him with the same passionate love He has for us. And that means He wants us to turn to Him in the wilderness of loneliness. He will never let go. He will always be ready with open arms when we turn back. He is worthy of our trust. Even when we can’t see through the darkness.

When we’re caught in the wilderness of loneliness, God wants us to break free and experience life. But we can’t do that on our own. We need God. And we need others. Don’t let fear of betrayal or the lies of the past prevent you from reaching out. To God and to a trusted friend. We may not want to reach out. We may not feel like we should have to. But we need to reach out anyway. And once we have a friend that will help us, we need to promise to call them next time we start heading back into the wilderness.

Today is the day to take a step out of the wilderness. Together.

“Those who know You, Lord, will trust You; You do not abandon anyone who comes to You.” Psalm 9:10 (GNT)

May I pray?

Lord, I ask a special blessing today for those struggling in the wilderness of loneliness. It’s a dark place that can hold us hostage for a very long time. Thank you, God, that You are there, even when no one else is. Please let Your presence be known as we trust in You. And please, Lord, give us one person we can reach out to that will help us. Amen.

Q4U: Who will you promise to call when you’re in the wilderness of loneliness?

Swimming The Deep End

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Have you ever been in the ocean at night? At first, it’s exhilarating. We feel daring and adventurous swimming the shallow waters between mystery and solid ground. But as clouds darken the sky, there’s no way to see what lurks below. The farther out we drift, the more nervous we become. What if a shark thinks we’re a wounded seal? What if a wave crashes down and we begin to drown? What if the undertow pulls us out? Who would be able to save us? Could they even find us? Will our night of living on the edge become a nightmare?

Our attitude toward potential danger–like swimming in the ocean at night–says a lot about us.

Not everyone has nerves of steel. And many of us would rather play it safe by avoiding possible hazards, no matter how remote they may be. So we stay in the swimming pools of life. The ones with the really deep diving wells. We frolic and splash, and sometimes keep our floaties on. No need to mix things up and get in over our head.

But whether we venture out on our own or accidently float a bit too far, at some point in our life we’ll all be swimming the deep end.

We feel that rush of adrenaline, good or bad, as the bottom sinks away below us and the water gets cold. Treading water isn’t that hard. Our skills are tested as we conjure up the confidence that we can stay afloat as long as necessary. But fatigue sets in. Sooner than we think it should. We want to get back on solid ground, but if our feet touch down now we’re sunk. Why doesn’t anyone throw us a life ring?

The deep end becomes a scary place.

It’s not fun anymore because it’s clear: We’re not in control. And we can’t save ourselves. We have nowhere to turn. In these times of helplessness we cry out to God. We may not be sure we believe. We may not know if He hears us. But we’re desperate and afraid. And sinking.

God hears. Jesus responds.

It often takes us slipping off our life raft into deep water before we recognize our need for Jesus. He’s our lifeguard. Always watching. Always ready to swim up next to us and keep us afloat. He may pull us to safety. But He may not. He may tread water with us and show us how strong we really are. He wants to help us face our fears. He wants to help us overcome our obstacles. He wants us to turn to Him and trust Him, especially in the deep end.

Jesus came to save us–He won’t let us sink if we hold onto Him.

When we’re swimming the deep end of real life, we can grab for other things and other people, but nothing will keep us floating for very long. Only Jesus can truly save us. Only He can bring us to solid ground.

Don’t wait until you’re sinking. Call on Him now. Let Jesus start teaching you how to prepare for the deep end. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find yourself treading water next to someone who feels like they’re going under. Then you can throw them a life ring of hope as you tell them about the One who can save them.

“The Lord protects the helpless; when I was in danger, He saved me.” Psalm 116:6 (GNT)

May I pray?

Jesus, thank you for coming to save us. Help us to stop grabbing for other things and other people that can’t keep us afloat. Take hold of us, Lord, and don’t let go. Keep our head above water and turn our face to You. We want to see You. We want to know You’re here. And if it’s Your will that we stay in the deep end for a while longer, then please give us the stamina to keep treading water. May we learn to praise You for treading water with us. Amen.

Q4U: What deep end experience have you faced?

Daddy’s Little Girl

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Do you know anyone who’s a Daddy’s Girl? It’s not that their dad is playing favorites. There’s just a special bond that forms between some fathers and their daughters that nothing can rival.

I was a Daddy’s Girl.

Oh how I loved my daddy and wanted to be just like him. I can’t even begin to describe the devastation of finding out at age 13 that he was dying of cancer. Why would he leave me? I thought I was special. I thought we were special together. I couldn’t understand.

Life went on. One of the hardest days in my mid-twenties was when I realized I had lived more of my life without my dad than with him. My heart sank as a cloud of darkness smothered me. It was so unfair. It was so sad. It was so lonely. Who would help me? Who would give me advice? Who would love me and cherish me no matter how bad I messed up?

No one I knew.

I’ve been told that when children face trauma or start down the paths of addiction, there’s a part of their brain that stops developing. To some degree, feelings and emotions can be stuck at that age for the rest of their life. Sometimes I wonder if that’s what happened to me. Is that why I still long to run to my dad in excitement and jump into his arms? Why I still picture climbing up in his lap? Why I still wish for the safety of his strong arms as we rock in his recliner? Why I still smile when I think about how he danced me around the room as I stood on his feet?

There are still days when I miss him terribly. Days when I need him here. Today is one of those days.

But my daddy is gone. He won’t be coming back.

My heart will always have a special place reserved for him. Tears will probably flow at times like this for the rest of my life. You may have experienced the loss of someone close to you. You may have similar feelings. You may wonder if you’ll ever be able to let go.

Take comfort that death is not the end to life. For those who know Jesus, our joyful reunion in paradise is just a matter of time. We don’t have to forget those who’ve gone before us. But we do have to continue down our path of life.

The greatest blessing in my life is the relationship I now have with my Heavenly Father, God.

Yes, sometimes I’m still immature. Yes, sometimes I whine and complain and stomp my feet when I don’t like what’s happening. But He never stops loving me. I’m His beloved daughter. He always helps me. He gives me advice. He loves me and cherishes me no matter how bad I mess up.

And my Father loves you the same way He loves me.

He anxiously waits for us to wake up every morning so He can spend time with us. Even when we forget He’s there. He calls us, over and over again. Even when we don’t call Him back. He blesses us with special gifts. Even when we don’t give anything to Him. He forgives us when we disobey and hurt Him. Even when we don’t ask. He finds us and wipes away our tears. Even when we hide from Him. And every night He watches us sleep and quietly sings over us.

God is our Father in Heaven. He loves us so fully that we can’t comprehend. And yet, we give so little of ourselves back to Him. Let’s bless God today. How? By running into His arms with excitement and climbing up in His lap. By talking to Him. Laughing with Him. Telling Him we love Him. Asking Him to shine His light of hope into our dark days. Oh how happy it makes Him when His children come to Him!

Rejoice, sweet Sister. We’re beloved children of God. And we’ll always be Daddy’s Little Girl.

“But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12 (NLT)

May I pray?

Father in Heaven, sometimes it’s hard to understand how we can be Your beloved children. And then we realize that’s what it means to have faith. To believe. Thank you for Your unfailing love. Thank you for the many special things You do for us every day, even when we don’t acknowledge them. Help us to come to You today and share sweet and tender moments. And please comfort those who are sad and lonely. May they feel Your presence and find peace knowing they are Daddy’s Little Girl. Amen.

Q4U: What is one small way you can bless God today?

FPP Triathlon For The Soul

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Have you ever watched athletes compete in a triathlon? It’s a test of physical and mental stamina with three parts: Swim–Bike–Run, in that order. A Sprint Triathlon has the shortest distances and can often be completed in less than 90 minutes. An Olympic Triathlon has longer distances of a one mile swim, a 25 mile bike, and a 10K run. And the granddaddy of them all, the Ironman Triathlon, has a 2.4 mile swim (often in the ocean), a 112 mile bike, and a marathon 26.2 mile run, all of which could take 15 hours or more to complete.

It’s fascinating to watch people in all shapes and sizes, ages and athletic ability pushing themselves beyond what they thought they could do. If you watch the Ironman Triathlon on TV, you’ll hear stories of personal victory. Amazing stories of ordinary people overcoming hardships, honoring fallen friends, and helping loved ones with disabilities achieve their dreams. Make sure you have a box of Kleenex handy.

Not everyone will compete in an actual triathlon, but all of us are running the race of life. And we’re all in need of spiritual conditioning.

Just as a triathlon has three legs of the race, spiritual conditioning has three disciplines that, when developed together, become an integral part of our transformation into spiritual athletes. What are they? Fasting–Prayer–Praise (FPP)

In a triathlon, the first event is the swim. This is the hardest for most people. Like swimming, fasting can be daunting if we don’t know much about it. Fasting is a way for us to come before God and surrender something of value for a period of time. It helps us to focus intently on God and pray fervently to Him. When the pangs of want and need arise, we use those pangs to direct our thoughts to God.

People generally think of a food and drink fast, where you eat nothing and only drink water for “X” number of days (ie 1 day, 3 days, 7 days). Fasting doesn’t have to be giving up food. It could be giving up coffee or soda for a week. It could be fasting TV for 7 days and reading the Bible instead. It could be giving up dessert or wine or anything that we “need” to get through a hard day. Whether you’ve fasted before or not, think of something that would be a challenge to live without, and give it up this week. But instead of being bitter about it, turn to the Lord in prayer and praise, and let Him fill your needs.

The second leg of our FPP Triathlon For The Soul is prayer. Prayer is a conversation with God. It can happen anywhere at anytime. There’s no right or wrong way to pray if we’re opening up to Him and being honest about our thoughts and concerns. God wants us to come to Him. He wants us to ask for His help and opinion. He also wants us to accept His answers, even if they’re not what we asked for.

Jesus gave us an example of how to pray in Matthew 6:9-13, which is often referred to as the Lord’s Prayer. We don’t have to use specific words if the prayer is from our heart. Jesus’ outline for prayer was: 1) Praise God for His holiness and sovereignty; 2) Confess sins and ask forgiveness; 3) Bring requests and ask for provision and protection; 4) Praise God for His strength, guidance and deliverance.

Let God be an integral part of every day. Talk to Him. Ask Him questions. Listen to His response. Pray Scripture to Him. Cry out to Him. Trust what He says. That’s heartfelt prayer.

The final stage of our FPP Triathlon is praise! Praise isn’t just about giving thanks to God. It’s about rejoicing. Regardless of the circumstances we face, God never leaves our side. Praise in the process! We know trials will come. But praise takes the sting away. It lifts our spirits. It shifts our focus from obstacles and hardships to God. Let loose in praise! Sing out loud. Even if you don’t have an angel’s voice, your voice sounds beautiful to God. Raise your hands and lift your eyes to heaven. Listen to praise songs as you get ready for work, drive to the store, or run on the treadmill. Worship God wholeheartedly.

When we combine fasting with prayer and praise, we begin a new phase of our spiritual conditioning. We gain strength as we grow in intimacy with God. We’re demonstrating our love and trust. We’re letting go of things that keep us from Him. And our time with the Lord takes on a new excitement. A new joy.

God has created us to run the race with Him. Let’s run to win.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

May I pray?

Lord, we need spiritual conditioning. We’re running the race of life but many of us are winded and ready to quit, or at least sit down for a while. Help us to grow stronger as we begin to pursue You in new ways. Give us the courage to fast something this week as we turn our focus to You. Meet us in our secret place and talk with us in prayer. Fill us with Your mighty presence as we let go of everything that holds us back and begin to praise You wholeheartedly. May we take our conditioning seriously so we can finish strong. Amen.

Q4U: What’s something you can fast this week to help turn your focus to God?

Pain of the Precious Pearl

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When was the last time you got a splinter in your finger? Do you remember how much it hurt? A splinter isn’t a life threatening malady, but it can be very irritating. Even though a splinter is tiny, the nagging pain is a constant reminder that a foreign particle has invaded our body. And it’s not going anywhere unless we remove it.

Many of us see our trials in life as splinters.

They’re irritating. No matter how small they may seem to others, they’re painful to us. And they won’t go away on their own. They’ve invaded our life so we try desperately to remove them as quickly as possible.

But sometimes God has purpose in putting trial splinters in our life.

Trials can produce precious pearls in the dark, salty waters of real life. How? Do you know how a pearl is formed? A pearl is the result of a natural process. It’s made by oysters and other mollusks. Oysters have two shells (top and bottom) which open and close to allow food in. But sometimes a foreign particle, like a small piece of broken shell, also slips in and it lodges between the oyster and its shell. It becomes an irritant. The oyster’s immediate reaction is to cover up the irritant and protect itself. It does this by adding layer upon layer of the same compound it uses to make the pearly underside of its shell. Over time this forms a beautiful sphere with its unmistakable lustre we call a pearl.

So too the trials in our life can produce beautiful pearls if we trust God and don’t try to remove the irritant.

Although our times of trial are painful, they’re the times in our life when we learn and change the most. Often an aspect of our life is handicapped and we’re forced to endure an irritant that we would much rather dislodge immediately. But it’s in this time of pain that we cry out for God. We seek Him with fervor. We pray and pursue Him in His Word. We may even try to negotiate our release from the pain. Yet our inability to remove the irritant ultimately brings us to a point of surrender. And we wait to see what God will create out of our splinter. All the while, the Lord is placing His special covering upon us.

If we trust God and don’t try to evacuate our shell in the hopes of finding a pain-free shell elsewhere, He will continue to work in us and our situation. And in His timing, a precious pearl of life will be revealed. A miracle of beauty.

Not all trials are long-term tests of faith that produce the rare pearls of life. But all trials can produce pearls of wisdom. Offer your painful trial splinter to God and let Him cover you in it. Wait and let His timing prevail. May you learn more about God and yourself. May you grow in strength and trust. And may the pearls that He creates and reveals adorn your life with beauty like a string of precious pearls.

“We consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” James 5:11

May I pray?

Gracious God, You create beauty out of pain. You can turn the trials and irritants we try to remove into precious pearls that bless us in unimaginable ways. But we have to be willing to turn to You and endure the discomfort. Help us to trust You. Help us to believe that You will work all things for good. Help us to surrender to Your timing. And please, Lord, grant us pearls of wisdom as we grow closer to You. Amen.

Q4U: What trial splinter of your life is God turning into a precious pearl?

What’s Wrong With Me?

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How many times have you felt that sickening pit in your stomach as someone you cared about walked away? Maybe they were ending a “discussion” you hadn’t finished. Maybe they were taking a break as you tried to draw closer. Maybe they were calling it quits even as you begged them to try once more. Maybe they were leaving for someone else.

It’s a feeling none of us should have to know. But it’s a feeling most of us know all too well.

If only we could reach an age when we wouldn’t have to go through the trauma anymore. But as long as there are relationships, there will be sickening pits to go with them.

Misunderstandings. Fights. Breakups. And severely wounded hearts.

Most of the time, the pit quickly turns into doubt and regret. And one simple question: What’s wrong with me? Maybe it’s because we’ve been conditioned all of our life to believe that when things go wrong, it’s our fault. Maybe the person we love has told us we’re the one to blame. But it takes two to tango. Generally there is miscommunication on both sides and wounds from the past in both hearts that flare up and ignite the situation. Things escalate. We add to it by what we say or don’t say.

But that doesn’t mean we should shoulder the blame alone.

And regardless of who started what, here’s truth about the core of who you are: There’s nothing wrong with you. You are a daughter of the Most High God. You deserve love and adoration. You do not deserve to be used, abused, or taken advantage of. You deserve respect and honesty. We all do.

Yes, we all have our hang-ups. We all have things we need to give up or start doing. We all have a lot of room for improvement. But so does the other person in our life. Things aren’t failing because of us. Unfortunately, it’s hard for us to step back and see the big picture. I wish we could see ourselves the way God sees us. Our viewpoint is so small, and most of it is focused on what we’ve done wrong, and what we can’t seem to offer that the other person says they want. It’s heart breaking. We need to be loved. We’re willing to do just about anything for it. And so we sell ourselves short and often push the other person away because we put them on a pedestal. It’s as if we look to them as our savior. The one who will bring joy and love to our life.  But the reality is that they’re only human. They can’t fill the shoes of a savior, even if that’s the role they want to play. And when they leave, whether temporarily or forever, we’re devastated. And we’re left wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” They were so good. We must be the one with the fatal flaw.

My friend, if you’re in this place today, I’m sharing tears with you. I hurt for you. I know how you feel. Your pain is my pain as we sit together and cry. Oh how I wish I could promise that tomorrow would bring word of new hope for your relationship. I can’t promise that. But what I can promise is that you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here to talk and pray with you. Or you can open up to a trusted friend and ask them to listen and then pray for you. One of the hardest parts of any situation that causes the sickening pit in our stomach is that we feel completely isolated and unable to share it with others. Please confide in someone. Let them sit with you and hold the Kleenex box as long as you need it.

Another promise I can make: You do have a Savior who wants to bring joy and love into your life. Jesus. This isn’t canned “Christian ease”. This is truth I’ve learned by living through decades of heart wounds. True joy is only found in Jesus. He is the only person who will never leave us, never turn on us, and never change. We may not always be able to see how He’s working in our situation. We may get to the end of our rope and be ready to let go. But hold on another day. Call to Him with a sincere desire to hear Him reply. And let Him, instead of someone else, take His rightful place on the throne of your heart.

One final thought for anyone in a loving relationship that has the occasional pit. Please let mercy reign in your heart and shower it on the one you love today. Life is too short. You have a special gift that so many others long for. Don’t let any miscommunication or heated words put a brick in the wall between you and your love. Tear down the wall before the sun sets. And may your special someone know what a blessing they are to you.

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

May I pray?

Jesus, so many of us have felt the sickening pit of a break in relationship with someone we truly care about. Some of us are carrying that pain today. Lord, please touch our wounded hearts with Your hand of peace and healing. Even in our darkest moments, when we feel alone and afraid, please let us see You. Let us feel Your presence and know that You care. You too were abandoned and betrayed by the ones You loved before You went to the cross. You lived the pain of heartbreak. Comfort us as only You can. Amen.

Q4U: How can I pray for you today?

How to Wait in the Whirlwind of Life

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Have you ever felt like you should probably wait for something but you just couldn’t? Against your better judgment you made a decision and went for it. And “it” didn’t turn out so good. Sounds like the story of my life.

Yesterday we talked about the importance of waiting for God, and God’s patience in waiting for us. As I was reading the post, the thought that kept coming to me was, “How?” Sure it’s a great idea to wait for answers or clear direction. Yes, we can be convinced that a period of waiting for God’s plan to unfold is good. But what does it mean to wait actively instead of passively? How do we wait when life’s craziness continues all around us? What if we never have a lightning bolt moment or see a neon sign that says, “The wait is over. Go this way.”? Will we be waiting forever?

How do we wait?

There’s a big difference between active waiting and passive waiting. Active waiting means that we’re continuing to put our best foot forward. We may not know the next step, but as we wait for guidance we’re learning, growing in trust, and making the best of where we are. There’s a level of contentment. Not because we’re where we want to be. But because we’re where God wants us to be.

For example, if we’re stuck in a mud pit, active waiting would be looking around to ascertain the benefits of our location, finding creative uses for mud (like facial scrub), and enjoying hot mud baths so we’re refreshed when we’re rescued. We’ll exit the mud pit with new ideas, new confidence and strength, and a new level of thankfulness–for our time in the mud and for moving on. We’ll be amazed at how God used our time in the mud to prepare us for the next phase of our journey.

Passive waiting means we’re not doing much of anything. We’re sulking and resigning ourselves to being stuck in the mud for the rest of our life. We’re complaining to anyone who comes within earshot. And we continually focus on how much we hate mud! When the time comes for us to exit the mud pit, we think it was a waste. We didn’t learn anything, we’re tired and bitter, and we accuse God of treating us unfairly. Unfortunately, God’s intention was to open up a whole new horizon after the mud pit. But we’re not ready.

So how do we get to that place of active waiting when we’re caught in the whirlwind of life? Three steps.

1. Go to God. How? By opening His Word, the Bible, and allowing Him to speak. By praying and asking God to reveal Himself in a new way. Seeking God is not about getting answers. It’s about getting God. It’s about truly getting to know Him. It’s about loving Him and trusting Him, even if we don’t understand why we are where we are, how long we’ll be here, or what comes next. God says, “Come to Me and I will come to you” (James 4:8 paraphrase). He also says, “Return to Me and I will return to you” (Zechariah 1:3). If we’re with God, we’re where He wants us to be. And there’s no better place to be than right in the middle of God’s will. Seek God first. And everything else falls into place.

2. Be open minded and teachable. This means letting go of our own desires. It means we have to stop pushing for a particular outcome. As the saying goes, “Let go and let God.” As we let go of our hold on a situation, we let God take over for His glory. And if we stop obsessing and driving toward the result we want, we start seeing other options. Maybe what we want is good, but it’s not always best. God wants what’s best. We may not understand His plan. But when we look back, we’ll see how amazing His path really was.

3. Embrace the period of waiting with thankfulness. We’ve talked in previous blogs about how being thankful in our circumstances is different than being thankful for them. We may not want to be in our current situation. And that’s ok. But praising God as we wait and being thankful that He’s with us keeps us from sinking down. Waiting is a time to be building bonds with those around us. We’re growing in sisterhood. We’re finding others to run the race with us when the next phase starts. It’s about enjoying the journey. Even during an unplanned pit stop.

Actively wait. Go to God. Be open minded and teachable. Embrace the period of waiting with thankfulness. Build new bonds of sisterhood. And experience God like never before.

“Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

May I pray?

God, we don’t like to wait, probably because we’re not good at it. Most of us struggle with how to wait without getting anxious and bitter. Help us to learn how to come to You first. Help us to learn the discipline of opening Your Word and reading each day so we can hear directly from You. Help us to learn to pray and listen. Lord, please open our eyes and minds to You and Your leading. And may we truly embrace the wait as we find ways to grow new sisterhood friendships. Amen.

Q4U: What’s an area of your life characterized by passive waiting instead of active waiting?

The Worst 4-Letter Word Of All

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Did you ever have your mouth washed out with soap for speaking a 4-letter word? I don’t know if parents still do this. It used to be that a parent would “wash” the filthy words out of their kid’s mouth by forcing a lathered bar into their kisser. I’m guessing the psychology was that their precious child would be so traumatized by the washing that they’d never want to use that word again. Although I never experienced the ritual, I don’t think it would have worked. Kids I knew still used all the “banned” 4-letter words. They were just more covert around grownups after eating soap.

In my twenties, I was a slinger of 4-letter words. These days, most of them make me cringe when I hear them. But there’s one 4-letter word in particular that does more than irritate me. It trips me up and often makes my blood pressure rise. What is the all-time worst 4-letter word in the world? W-A-I-T

Wait. I hate to wait. “But patience is a virtue.” Yes, one I obviously don’t have.

Patience has never been a strong suit for me. I was a forerunner of the current societal philosophy of “Why Wait?” Instant gratification. Run full-steam ahead. Figure it out on the fly. If you reach a stopping point in one direction, turn and head a different way. Never stop. Never wait. Always keep moving toward something. Even if you’re not sure what. Be nimble and quick and ready to jump over every candlestick.

The problem with jumping candlesticks? (this is a metaphor, of course) What is a candlestick and why are we jumping it? Could we be wasting our energy jumping unnecessarily? And how do we know what’s on the other side?

Several years ago my candlestick jumping days started to wane. I was changing. I finally began to realize that being impulsive and taking matters into my own hands didn’t mean I was in control. It just meant there was no one else I could blame for my bad decisions. The truth is that when faced with most decisions, I know very little about what lies ahead on any given path. But God knows. He is the one in control.

God is the Master Strategist with the plan. He knows what should happen, and when, for ultimate glory.

If I were God, people like me would drive me crazy. Here I (as God) went through enormous strides to line things up for a great result and–ZOOM–there goes someone like me running ahead or bounding off into the wilderness. Thankfully for all of us, I’m not God. His patience with us is something I can’t even begin to fathom. Gently, but sternly, He assures us: He is God, not us. He wants to use our time of waiting as preparation.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

“Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27:14

God wants the best for us. He wants us to wait for Him so His plan can unfold. He wants us to wait with Him so He can teach us. He wants us to wait in Him so we can grow in strength and wisdom. Oddly, the truth is that it takes more strength to wait than to run blindly ahead. People who wait and seek God’s leading aren’t timid or indecisive. They’re strong and wise as they demonstrate restraint.

God had His work cut out as He pursued me in the world and began calling me to Him. He patiently worked in my heart and my life as He transformed me from the inside out. I still have a long way to go. I will never be inherently patient. My first instinct may not be to turn to God and wait. I will always be a work in progress.

You may feel the same way too. WAIT may be an annoying 4-letter word that exasperates you. You may hate to wait for anything. Including God’s plan. And at the same time, you may doubt that God will wait for you to get on board. That He’ll wait for you to come to Him. And if He will wait, for how long?

Trust me. He’ll wait. He believes we’re worth it. And He’s got all the time in the world. Eternity in fact. The question is, how long do we have? If God is calling, why wait?

“So the LORD must wait for you to come to Him so He can show you His love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for His help.” Isaiah 30:18 (NLT)

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, it’s hard to wait. We’re taught to go after what we want, and we want it now. Teach us, Lord, to go after You instead. And please help us to learn the discipline of waiting for Your timing. Not passive, sit down and sulk waiting. But active waiting as we prepare for what You have next. Thank you for making us wait so we’ll be ready. Amen.

Q4U: What is the hardest part of waiting?

Navigating the Minefields of Life

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Have you ever been in the middle of a minefield? If you’re alive and reading this, I’m guessing the answer is “No”. We don’t worry about minefields in the U.S. Most of us have never seen an actual landmine or even think twice about crossing an open field for fear of stepping on a live IED (improvised explosive device). Our closest encounter with landmines is probably contributing tax-deductible funds to the Adopt-A-Minefield Campaign, if that. But believe it or not there are still dangerous areas between North and South Korea, India and Pakistan, and Iran and Iraq where booby-trapped minefields lay in wait. The landmines are indiscriminate weapons set to maim and kill anyone and anything. Even an innocent child who accidently wanders too far off.

Although we haven’t stood on the ground of an actual minefield and can’t comprehend the deathly fear of stepping on a high-powered explosive device, many of us have been in the minefields of life.

Maybe we were caught in an intense battle. Maybe we were playing a little too far from home. Maybe we were going about our business and an explosion nearby revealed the worst. Then or now, the heart pounding realization seizes us. We’re in the middle of a minefield and there’s no marked way out.

Fear grips our soul. We choke back tears as we stand perfectly still. No false moves. We’re not even sure it’s safe to call for help. One wrong step by anyone could shatter our world. Desperation rushes in. What do we do? Where do we turn? Oh, dear God, is this the end? We’re paralyzed.

Mines could be all around us, hidden and ready to blow. We divert our fear by focusing on whose fault it is that we’re here. Did we ignore the signs? Were there any signs at all? Did someone lure us here? We might be temporarily distracted with the blame game, but then reality strangles us again. Only one question remains.

How will we get to the other side?

We don’t have x-ray vision to see what’s hidden. We don’t have superhero powers to fly above harm. In real life, we don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes. We don’t know what other people are doing or thinking. We can’t fast forward through the slow, intense drama that unfolds as we make our way one agonizing decision at a time.

But we have to move. We can’t stay stranded in fear. There is a way out. Forward. How do we figure out what steps to take and when? By seeking the One with the map. God.

The great thing about turning to God is that we may not know where the landmines are in our life, but He does. And if we follow Him through the minefield we’ll come out unscathed on the other side. With greater trust in Him. We need to go where He goes. Step where He steps. And not veer to the right or to the left.

And if we’re prone to wander? We have to learn that in the minefields, discipline is key.

There will be times in life when we’re free to run and laugh and play. But there will be other times when survival is held in the balance. The steps we choose could have grave consequences to us and those we love.

Minefields are hidden throughout our life. Some we’ll walk by without even knowing. Others will catch us by surprise. Be prepared. Walk with the One who knows every peril. Take His map in your hands and let Him reveal the path that brings peace and hope, even in the midst of danger. This is our training ground. This is how we learn to go to Him first and stay in step with Him.

God purposely won’t keep us out of the minefields. But He can and will navigate us through them. He’s ready to show us the way to other side!

“How can a young person live a clean life? By carefully reading the map of Your Word. I’m single-minded in pursuit of You; don’t let me miss the road signs You’ve posted.” Psalm 119:9-10 (MSG)

May I pray?

God, many of us know the minefields of life all too well. The intense fear and isolation of those dangerous lands are overwhelming. We don’t know where to turn. We don’t see a clear path. We don’t even know exactly what’s hidden, we just know something is. Father, please open the eyes of those in minefields today and let them see You like never before. Help them to know with certainty the next step to take. Fill them with the power of Your peace. May they move forward in confidence because You know every hidden peril. And Your Word, Your map, will guide them through. Amen.

Q4U: What is a minefield you’ve faced in your life?

How Beautiful Are Your Feet?

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Are your feet beautiful? They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but does that go for feet as well? There are some feet that you know are cute–like baby feet. And there are some feet that should stay covered up at all costs. I’ve heard the stories. But between those extremes, who decides what makes feet beautiful? And how do you know if you’re one of those people who could make it big in the modeling world–as long as the camera stayed fixed on your feet? That’s the kind of job I’d like.

Before I quit my day job to pursue a career in feet modeling, I need to know the criteria for beautiful feet. I’ll admit that I haven’t spent a lot of time looking at people’s feet so I don’t really know how the bar is set. And I need to make sure my feet are ready.

These days, we spoil our feet. We have lotions and pedicures and massages just for them. There are individualized shoes for walking, running, hiking, tennis, basketball and every other sport imaginable. We have gel insoles to comfort. Moleskins to protect. And exfoliating scrubs to keep them soft and touchable. Our feet don’t know how good they have it.

But a couple thousand years ago feet took a beating.

Most people had one mode of transportation: their feet. No cars. No scooters. No bikes. And unless they were wealthy, not even a horse or stubborn mule. They walked. Everywhere.

Town to town. Mile after long, hot, dusty mile. People went on foot. And since there were no telephones, internet or newspapers, messengers had to run on foot to spread news of current events. Messengers even ran from the battlefields to the waiting king to let him know what was happening. Then they’d get the new battle plan or messages from the king and run back to the front lines. Of course, a lot could change in the time it took to swap messages.

The feet of the people back in those days were calloused, dirty and covered in sores. Hardly what I would consider beautiful. But thankfully for them, their feet weren’t judged on the way they looked.

Feet were judged on the message they carried.

Beautiful feet brought good news. They carried a message of peace, blessing and hope. They ran to proclaim salvation to those who heard and responded.

So the question for us today is: Do we have beautiful feet? Do we bring good news to those we encounter? Do we carry a message of peace? Do we tell others of the blessing and hope that awaits? Do we run and proclaim that salvation is here?

Do we have beautiful feet?

Do we joyfully spread the excitement of Jesus Christ, the risen King? Maybe we’re feeling a bit calloused. Maybe we’re afraid to speak out because we’re unsure of what to say. Maybe we believe we did our time running with the message and now it’s someone else’s turn to hit the pavement.

But how will others call on Jesus if they never believed in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they never heard the message? And how can they hear the message if no one shares it with them? Where are the beautiful feet?

You have beautiful feet. Show the world.

The way we carry the message by living out our faith each day is far more important than choosing the “right” words to say. It’s time to step out in courage.

By the way, I love your feet.

“As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’” Romans 10:15

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, I praise You for the beautiful feet of everyone reading this today. Bless them as they carry Your message of life and hope, forgiveness and freedom. Lord, help us to step out boldly and run with perseverance as we spread the good news of Jesus Christ. And Lord, if anyone feels that their feet are too dirty or too calloused to be beautiful, remind them of how Jesus washed the feet of His friends. The friends He knew would abandon and deny Him a few hours later. Thank you that Jesus will do the same for us if we let Him. Amen.

Q4U: What makes feet beautiful?

Bridge Over Troubled Water

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Have you ever seen raging water during or after a storm? I was on a boardwalk at the beach once during a hurricane (before being chased off by the Coast Guard). Enormous swells of violent water were thrashing all around as wind whipped and rain pelted down. Fear pulsed through my veins as I witnessed complete chaos. There was no rhyme or reason to the water’s movement as it crashed over and over again. It was almost like an un-caged wild animal mutilating everything in its sight.

Tragedies and trials unleash raging life storm waters.

They tear through our life without regard to what we hold dear or boundaries we believe should be left intact. Strongholds are leveled. Relationships are washed away. And the destruction is more than we can handle. Even after the initial storm has passed, turmoil continues as troubled water swirls and crashes through the remnants of our life. The devastation is overwhelming.

Many times the ravaging waters are near impossible to get through.

We know we have to cross over the tumultuous river to leave our old existence behind and begin our trek on the other side. But wading alone or building a rickety raft of waterlogged hope just won’t cut it. And unfortunately our physical and emotional resources are already tapped out. We have to find a way to the other side. But we can’t do it alone.

We need a bridge over troubled water. Someone to stand in the gap for us and be the bridge of hope.

This is what Sisterhood is all about. Bridging the gap. Holding out a hand of hope. Carrying the burdens of another. Being a shoulder to lean on and cry on. Praying for mercy and grace as the storm waters crash and swell.

For those of us who have survived the storms of life, we know the desperation that ensues. We owe it to our friends, our sisters, to be there with them. Not to offer directions of how to find a way out. But to walk the journey with them and ensure they make it to the other side.

Even if we can’t be with our sisters physically, we can walk with them.

We can be just a phone call away whenever the waters start to churn. We can be a prayer warrior like never before by committing to raise them up with hands lifted high until it hurts. We can send them notes of encouragement and continue to reach out to them on a daily basis so they know they’re not alone. And if we are close by, we can open our home to them. For a day or a week or a month. They need to know with certainty that they have a refuge. A place of love and safety to weather the storm and endure the aftermath. A place to decompress, talk, cry, and sort through options.

We can be that bridge of hope.

If you’ve never heard the song by Simon & Garfunkel “Bridge Over Troubled Water” (also sung by the cast of Glee), click the link and read the lyrics as you listen. Often friends flee when trouble rises. But sisters stand firm through the storm. We need that kind of bridge. We need to be that kind of bridge.

And if you ever have a doubt, know that Jesus is your solid bridge over every tragedy and trial. He will never be shaken. He’s the bridge that takes us all from death to life. From devastation to new beginnings.

Jesus is always standing in the gap. For you. For me. For everyone who calls upon His mighty name. You will never be alone in trouble.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT)

May I pray?

Jesus, You are our bridge over troubled water. You stand in the gap for us as raging waters crash through our life. And yet, we still long for a shoulder to cry on. Someone to hold us tight and help us find our path through the aftermath. Lord, for those who are in troubled water, bless them with a sister to be Your hands and feet––to console, comfort and help. And for those of us who aren’t currently facing stormy waters, grant us Your strength to be a bridge and teach us how to stand in the gap as prayer warriors for our sisters. Amen.

Q4U: How can you be a bridge of hope to someone you know?

A Perfect 10

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What is a “Perfect 10”? To some, it’s the errorless performance of a lifetime that wins gold medals on the world stage and in the Olympics. To others, it’s the quintessential man or woman who embodies perfection in looks, personality, intellect and drive for adventure. And still others use the term to describe someone who has everything they could ever hope for in a mate, including devoted love for them. A Perfect 10 completes them.

We see pictures all the time of models and Hollywood stars who look like a Perfect 10. But not many of us would say that we know someone who is a Perfect 10. And my guess is that few, if any, of us believe that we’re a Perfect 10. Why? Because no one is perfect.

But what if I were to tell you that you are a Perfect 10 to someone? He not only thinks you’re a Perfect 10, he knows it’s true. Not because of head-turning beauty. Not because of witty personality or mensa intellect. Not because you’re always up for a dare. But because you’re you. You’re a masterpiece. You’re His masterpiece. He is God.

You are a Perfect 10 because you’re made in the image of God. You are a Perfect 10 because God created you to be you. There is no one else like you. You’re one of a kind. Created with your circle of influence. Created with your likes, dislikes, skills and preferences. Created with your unique experiences. Created with your specific looks and characteristics that make you stand apart from everyone else. And God sees so much more than what other people see on the outside. God sees so much more than what our closest confidants know is on the inside. God sees all of us. And His thoughts about us don’t change.

You are priceless. You are special. You are irreplaceable.

You are a Perfect 10. I am a Perfect 10. In God’s eyes, we are all a Perfect 10. We may not feel like a Perfect 10 because we make mistakes, say stupid things, and often can’t function under pressure. But being God’s masterpiece is not about who we are or what we can do.

It’s about who God is and what He has already done for us.

There is only one God. He created us, shortcomings and all so we’d know we can’t save ourselves. And He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross as a final sacrifice for all sin. His life was given. His blood was shed to cover our sins. To save us. Through Christ, we are made perfect. We are His reflection. We embody His Holy Spirit.

God chose to make us human for a reason. Not to be perfect in this world, but to be perfect in His image.

Here’s the thing: we’ll never be perfect in our own right. We haven’t lived up to our full potential, and we probably never will. We’ll continue to make bad decisions. Most of us will stumble and fall, and likely more than once. We may turn away from God many times before we turn back to Him. But that never changes how God sees us. When He looks at us, He sees His perfection because He sees Christ in us.

That’s not to say that God is okay with us staying the way we are.

God knows what He has planned for us during our journey on this earth as we grow in relationship with Him. He wants more for our lives than what we have today. But there’s nothing we can do to make God love us more. And there’s nothing we can do that will cause God to love us less. God loves us completely. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. He loves us just the way we are. But He loves us too much to let us stay this way.

Jesus says, “Come follow Me.” He wants us to walk forward with Him to new life. He wants to transform us from the inside out by the power of His Holy Spirit. Not because He would love us more if we were different. But because He loves us so much that He wants us to experience oneness with Him.

Oneness can only come when we stop trying to be something we’re not, and instead embrace the One who made us the way we are. A Perfect 10.

“With one sacrifice, then, He has made perfect forever those who are purified from sin.” Hebrews 10:14 (GNT)

May I pray?

Lord, we generally believe that anyone who thinks they’re perfect is conceited. And we know that perfection is unobtainable by anything we do. Help us to stop looking at our lives and our actions as perfect or imperfect, and instead start focusing on how we mirror You. Our true identity as children of God comes from You. Not because we deserve it. But because You love us. Perfectly. May we humbly confess our sins today as we accept Your love and embrace You fully. Amen.

Q4U: How would you describe a Perfect 10?

I Am Not A Warrior

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If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Of course I’d love to use words like fun or adventurous or daring to describe me. There have been many times I could accurately say broken, scared, or alone. But if I had to narrow it down to just one word that depicts me throughout my life it would be this: survivor.

I am a survivor.

The path I’ve walked is not one I would recommend for anyone else. It’s been full of pitfalls, bad decisions, and painful consequences. But standing on this side of the ravine after crossing through dark valleys and crawling through dry deserts of life, I truly am thankful. I’m thankful that I survived the trek out of the depths of life gone wrong. I’m thankful that I won’t be going back. I’m thankful for what I learned and how I’ve grown along the way. And most of all, I’m thankful that I can understand where other people are and help them as they struggle to rise above real life.

The problem with being a survivor is that people think you don’t need help.

They say, “You can do it. You’re strong.” I say I’m a survivor because I have to be, not because I’m strong.

They say, “You don’t need me. You’re doing fine on your own.” I say I do need you. More than you will ever know.

They say, “You’ll be okay. Just keep fighting.” I say I don’t want to fight anymore. I am not a warrior.

Many survivors stand alone in their battles. They long for the company of warriors who will stand beside them and fight with them. But that isn’t reality. They survive because they have no other choice. They can’t give up. They can’t give in. They do what they have to do to get through another day. And with each new morning they wish a cavalry would come to save the day.

Some of us may never hear the battle cry of the rescuing cavalry. Some of us may never have even one loyal warrior to stand beside us in the fight. But that doesn’t mean we have to stand alone.

Strength to rise above real life does not come from within. It comes from God. And He stands with us.

We can’t produce armor to protect ourselves from the battles of life. But God gives us armor and powerful weapons.

We can’t heal ourselves from wounds that are inflicted. But God will mend our brokenness, heal our wounds, and make us stronger and wiser in the process.

We can’t blame God for the fights waged by people. But we can wield the weapons of prayer and His Living Word and unleash God’s power.

We may not be warriors. We may not feel strong or brave. We may not know how to enact a battle plan. And that’s okay. We aren’t called to lash out or charge the enemy. We’re merely called to stand. Stand in God’s strength. Stand for His truth. Stand our ground and not let the enemy trip us up. Just stand.

My friend, you don’t have to stand alone. If you’re suited in God’s armor then His army is standing with you. He is standing with you.

And my armor is on. I’m ready to stand with you too.

“Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand.” Ephesians 6:10-11 (see Ephesians 6:10-18 for the full armor of God)

May I pray?

Lord, there’s a big difference between being a survivor and being a warrior. I pray for those of us who feel alone, scared, and unequipped for life’s battles. May the truth of Your Word bring us the protection and hope we need. May we suit up in Your armor and be filled with Your strength and power as we take our stand today. Bring us the confidence of knowing that You and Your army stand with us. And we stand together in sisterhood. Amen.

Q4U: What one word would you use to describe yourself and why?

Girls Just Want To Be Loved

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What’s your greatest desire? When I think about what girls want the first thing that comes to mind is the Cyndi Lauper song Girls Just Want To Have Fun (also remade by Miley Cyrus–who knew?). According to the song, that’s all we really want. Fun.

There was a time back in the day when I might have agreed. The problem with fun is that it doesn’t last. And it doesn’t truly satisfy our intense longing for meaningful connection.

No, girls don’t just want to have fun. Our deepest desire consuming our soul is to be genuinely loved.

We crave love. We pursue it with passion. We’d give up almost anything for a chance at true love. And many of us give ourselves away, time and time again, hoping that this time it’s for real. Or hoping to dull the pain because we know it’s not.

Bad relationship after bad relationship we wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” Or “I have so much love to give. Why can’t someone just love me for who I am?” And it’s true. We do have so much love to give. But it’s almost like we’re wearing a blindfold as we jump into each new relationship. We hear a few surface level confirmations about who this next guy is and we’re ready to throw caution to the wind. We don’t even try to lift the veil and see him live out his life on a daily basis. How different would it be if we spent the time really getting to know him before we started dating?

What if we removed our blindfold and searched for clues of who he is on the inside?

We cannot change people. We cannot expect them to change. If they aren’t walking the path we want to walk, in every respect, then we shouldn’t be camping out with them. The further down the road we go and the more time we spend together, the harder it will be to end it. And the more likely that we’ll be hurt.

I talk to so many girls who know they’re in the wrong relationship and yet they won’t move on. Why? Because they’re afraid to be alone.

Someone’s done a number on us. Someone’s saturated us in lies. Someone’s convinced us that we’re weak. Someone’s sold us on the idea that we can’t have a joyful life unless we’re tied to another. So we tie ourselves over and over, to this person and that. And pretty soon we’re so tied up in knots that we’ve lost the joy and freedom that comes from living in truth.

Please hear my heart on this. I fully believe that sharing life with a true partner in life is one of the greatest gifts we can ever receive. Finding someone who’s ready for adventure and willing to hold on at all costs is like finding hidden treasure.

But I also believe that it is better to be in no dating relationship than the wrong relationship.

I admit I never wanted to be alone for the first 35 years of my life. But spend time in the deep pits of real life, wallowing in the mud with pigs and swine, and you’ll know where I’m coming from. My perspective has changed completely.

We have to protect our hearts. Wounds are continually inflicted by people who don’t truly care about nurturing our love. And if we’re not careful, we can be so scarred by broken heart after broken heart that we eventually lock our heart away. We may still pursue relationships, but we never allow ourselves to open up to love again.

Girls, we’re not weak. We’re not fragile. But our hearts are delicate. Like flowers. And we need TLC. We need to be watered with genuine love so we don’t wilt. We need to protect our hearts from pests and vermin. We need to fertilize our hearts with God’s truth, hope and joy. If we do, our hearts will blossom like never before.

And our life will be a fragrant garden overflowing with beauty.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, it’s true we like to have fun. But often we’re masking the hurt and emptiness we feel inside. Most of us desperately want to be loved for who we are. Lord, for those of us who have someone special in our lives, be the glue that binds us with that person in truth and love. For those of us who don’t have someone special, open our eyes and protect us from getting tied in knots and giving ourselves away for anything less than the beautiful gift You have planned for us. And for those of us who know we’re in a wrong relationship, Father please give us the strength today to guard our heart, turn away from fear, and walk boldly to You. Amen.

Q4U: What would you say is your greatest desire and why?

Postcards from the Edge

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What’s the coolest postcard you’ve ever received? My friends and family have traveled to some fabulous places so I’ve been the recipient of awesome cards. But my mom takes the cake. A few months ago she and my stepfather were visiting family in Switzerland and they sent me a postcard that looked like a big block of Swiss cheese–holes and all. It’s the funniest card I’ve ever seen. But I had a hard time following their message on the other side around the holes.

Generally people send postcards to share pictures of what they’ve seen or done as they write warm thoughts to someone they care about. However, I do know one girl who decided to use a postcard to send a “Dear John” letter to break up with her boyfriend as he spent the summer in Spain. The problem was that she couldn’t fit much text on one postcard. So she ended up sending five postcards to explain the situation. Unfortunately, he only received three of the five postcards and didn’t get the whole story of who “Jason” was. Lesson learned: Never send a series of postcards to break up with someone.

Postcards aren’t as popular these days as they used to be.

Now that we can text and email from anywhere in the world, and share pictures within seconds of taking them, the allure of postcards has died out. But there’s something to be said about handwriting a special note and sending it off to arrive on an unknown date. The recipient will be surprised to know that when we were in that place we were thinking of them.

What if we were to send a postcard to someone today to let them know they’re on our mind? Who would you send it to and what would you say?

Would you send it to your parents or sister who you haven’t seen in months? Would you send it to a long lost friend to say you wish things had turned out differently? Would you send it to someone you love, just because?

Words of encouragement, forgiveness, and affection never go out of style. And they’re not shared enough. Often we don’t dare express our true thoughts and feelings because we’re afraid of how the other person may respond. What if they don’t reciprocate? What if they don’t feel the same way we do?

But what if they do, and we never knew because we were too scared to be honest?

New scenario: If you knew that you were living on the edge of life and death, and you only had time enough to write one postcard, who would you send it to? What would you say?

Time is running out. On the edge, fear of making a fool of ourselves is quickly overshadowed by fear of regret if we never told them how we truly feel. And it’s not necessarily a potential lover that we want to contact. Maybe it’s our best friend, our sister, who would never know how much she helped in our dark days. Maybe it’s our young daughter, our reflection, and we want to share wisdom and love for her to carry with her in the years to come. Maybe it’s our father who was the life raft that kept us from sinking time and time again. Maybe it’s our husband who we’ve taken for granted and never esteemed the way he deserves. Warm thoughts ignite the heart and cover over a multitude of hurts.

I want to challenge you to send a postcard from the edge. Today.

Let go of any fear and put your soul into it. Think of it as one last message. One short note that opens your heart and lets someone see a part of you they’ve never known. And who knows? Maybe this postcard could be the first of many special surprises. Hopefully it won’t be your last note, but view it with that kind of urgency. And if you don’t have an actual postcard, just use a small piece of paper or an index card and mail it in a regular envelope. You can even draw your own little picture on the front to make it look like a postcard.

One day. One card. One short note. One intimate message. One life that will be impacted by what you have to share.

“Kind words bring life.” Proverbs 15:4 (GNT)

May I pray?

Dear God, we underestimate the power of our words. Kind words can pour life into a weary soul, harsh words can tear apart someone’s hopes and joy, and no words can leave another empty and concerned. Encourage us today as we share the gift of a special message. Grant us the courage to open our heart as if today we were living on the edge. May You be glorified as we overcome our fears and leave regret behind. Amen.

Q4U: Who will you send a postcard to and what message will you share?

Too Many Pity Shots Ruin The Party

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Have you ever been at a party where someone had too much to drink? It can get ugly. Whether “true feelings” flow or someone is emboldened by lack of judgment, generally tears are involved. Harsh words erupt. Tempers flare. The party’s ruined. And the next morning is filled with regrets as details of “what really happened” come to light.

I’ve seen this happen when people drink shots. Shots seem fun at first. But the alcohol quickly takes over as their faculties go out the window. They begin losing that “good” feeling. And the more they drink to recapture it, the farther away they drift into a river of oblivion.

Pity is like drinking shots of alcohol.

Pity is feeling sorry for ourselves. Sorry for our situation. Sorry for the bad things that have happened to us. Sorry that we don’t have the life we think we should. The problem with pity is that we let ourselves soak in it without doing anything to change where we are or where we’re headed. And the pity shots begin.

At first, pity shots make us feel really good. And so we keep doing them. “Look what happened to me.” “My life isn’t fair.” “I shouldn’t be the one to have to deal with this.” But the more pity shots we take, the worse we feel. We want to get that good feeling we had at first. So we continue pity shot after pity shot. But we can’t regain that pity high. We feel sick, depressed and incoherent. Our life feels like a party gone wrong.

And the next day we wake up with a bad headache and pity hangover.

We try to remember what we did or said. How we blabbed and cried and revealed way too much. And as we remember, we try to forget.

No one wants to be around someone who’s wallowing in pity. When we’re the ones taking pity shots, we bring ourselves down and everyone around us. When someone else is drowning in pity, we don’t know what to say or how to react.

We should handle pity shots differently if we’re the ones overloading on them, or if someone else is.

If we’re the ones at the bar with pity shots lined up and waiting, it’s time to get up off the bar stool. Let’s walk away from the self-destructive “woe is me” attitude and the damaging effect it has over time. We need to keep things in perspective and continue to focus on how far we’ve come. And the good things ahead. This isn’t to say that we can’t be real with others or we can’t share our frustrations and fears. We need to vent. We need to get things out so they don’t bottle up inside of us. But it’s important to have one or two close friends, our sisters, to talk us through the times we’re feeling down.

If someone else is filling up on pity shots, we need to be sensitive. Even if we’re tired of hearing the same thing over and over. Their feelings are very real to them, and we don’t always know what’s happening behind the scenes in their life. There may be a lot more to the story than what they’ve revealed. So let’s be that friend who helps them put down the shots of destructive thinking. If we can help them start focusing on the big picture and the hope ahead, things will look a whole lot brighter for them come morning.

We all have times in life when we make bad decisions that lead to bad consequences. And our current real life may include scars of the past. During times of turmoil when we’re struggling with what has happened or where we are, it’s easy to start feeling sorry for ourselves. But let’s break the cycle. Instead of reaching for pity shots, let’s praise God in our circumstances. Not for our circumstances, but in them. By doing so we take away the sting of pity. And we open the door to a much better tomorrow.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT)

May I pray?

Father God, there are some days we don’t feel good about life. Things we’ve done or decisions someone else made bring us to a place of sorrow and regret. And instead of taking action to move on in our situation, sometimes we just want to sit with our pity shots. The feelings are real, but pity can suck the joy out of us. Help us to reach out to a friend and share our feelings without wallowing in pity. Help us to open up to You, Lord, so You can shine Your light of truth in our dark places. Today, may we have a heart of praise. No matter where we are, may we offer You a prayer of thanks in our circumstances. May we remember that nothing will stay the same, and tomorrow can be a much brighter day. Amen.

Q4U: What has helped you to back away from pity shots?

Lost for Words to Say and Pray

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Have you ever played Wheel of Fortune, Pictionary or one of those other games where you’re trying to guess a word that’s being described? Yes, there are hints and clues. But sometimes what seems so obvious to one person just doesn’t make sense to someone else.

We get frustrated with our mental blocks when we can’t find the right word to say. But it’s no wonder considering how many words are actually stored in our brains. Researchers believe that the average person knows 60,000 different words (including proper names) which are all memorized as vocabulary.

We really do have a lot on our mind!

It’s one thing to be lost for a particular word when you’re competing for bragging rights in a game. But sometimes we’re desperately seeking the right words, or any words, when we’re trying to communicate with someone. Including God.

There’s something extremely important we have to tell someone, but we don’t know how to start. Or end. So we procrastinate and avoid the conversation.

Our friend is reeling from the grief of their loss and we have no idea how to comfort them. Instead of reaching out to them in their time of need, we back away. We’re afraid of saying something wrong or not having anything to say at all.

We’re suffocating in our own desperation, barely hanging on. No words can express our raw emotions. No words can overcome our sobs. We lay on our bed in a puddle of tears. Exhausted.

We’re lost for the words to say and pray.

It’s in these times that we need to remember truth. We don’t always know what to say or pray, but God searches our hearts and knows our thoughts. He understands the situation intimately. He wants us to come to Him and seek protection in His presence. And the Holy Spirit, who dwells within us, will help us in our time of weakness. We may not have words to speak, but the Spirit knows what we need. He also knows God’s heart. He prays on our behalf. He intercedes for us before Almighty God. He prays to our Heavenly Father through our sobs, groans, and blank thoughts that are devoid of words.

The prayers of the Holy Spirit are powerful because they are based on the will of God.

If words are escaping us, we can merely say, “Lord, I don’t know what to pray. I don’t know what to do. But You do. Holy Spirit, please intercede for me before God. Please give me the words to say.”

We don’t need an elaborate prayer with lots of words. There’s no right or wrong thing to pray. God wants us to be honest with Him. He would rather that we come to Him without knowing what to say than to stay away out of fear or anger. Sit with God. And if you don’t know what to say, let Him pray. Or if you’ve been holding back, unleash your emotions and tell Him what you really think. Just don’t avoid Him.

And don’t avoid other people when you don’t know what to say.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our friend is to sit with them when they’re hurting. Just like God, it isn’t our words or a special trinket that they want. It isn’t a present that will show them our genuine love and compassion. It’s our presence. It’s our willingness to hold them in silence and let them cry. They need to know there is someone praying for them.

We need to know there is someone praying for us. And there always is.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” Romans 8:26

May I pray?

Lord, thank you for the gift of Your Holy Spirit that dwells within us so that we’re never alone. Thank you for Your desire that we come to You, even if we don’t know what to pray. 

What is True Love?

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Have you ever experienced true love? Love that never fades. A depth of love that comes when two people are committed to going the distance. No matter what. A love based on friendship, mutual respect and trust that overflows in tender intimacy. A love that never grows old even when we do.

We’ve all heard about love like this. We’ve cried at movies about love like this. We dream about love like this. But surprisingly few have ever loved or been loved the way we think love should be. For those of us blessed with a strong love relationship, we wish everyone could experience true love.

So on a scale of 1-10, how do we love someone completely?  How do we love them 10 out of 10?

Girls have an innate need to love and be loved. Why? It’s part of our DNA. We were created to live intimately with God and our husband; to love and desire them with our whole heart (that’s why we often cling to guys we date). We were created to embody God’s Holy Spirit whose very essence is love. Our heart and mind are wired to nurture others and share our daily lives in loving community with others.

We want to love deeply. We crave someone to love us deeply. We need someone to love us for who we are, right where we are.

We desire unconditional, nonjudgmental, self-sacrificing love.

We may never experience this kind of devoted, forgiving, life-building love in our relationships with others. But we can experience it with God.

The Greek word for God’s love in the New Testament is “agape”–true unconditional love. God loves us completely. He will never love us more. He will never love us less. He loves us perfectly. He loves us 10 out of 10. No matter where we’ve been. No matter what we’ve done. We are never out of reach of His love. God’s love is higher and wider and longer and deeper than anything we can ever imagine. It never changes. And it never fades away.

No one but God can truly love us with agape love. Only God knows everything about us, including every secret and every intimate detail of our heart, mind, and soul. And He still loves us with the same unfailing love. Even if we run away from Him. Even if we stumble and fall. Even if… anything. His love for us remains perfect love.

We aren’t capable of loving others with perfect agape love. We will never know everything about someone else and we aren’t able to see inside their mind or soul. Although we can’t love them completely and unconditionally like God can, our love can grow and deepen day by day.

Sharing our love and receiving love from others are based on the same premise: Love is a gift. God’s love is a gift. And like any gift, we have the choice to accept it or leave it on the table. Don’t ignore God’s gift to you. Don’t turn away empty handed. Take it. Unwrap it. Try it on for size. See how well it fits. See how beautiful it makes you.

Love is a choice. God has chosen to love us, even if we don’t love Him.

Love is a choice. God has given us the ability to choose to love Him.

Choose love. Accept the gift of God’s unfailing love that He pours out in abundance for you. He loves you 10 out of 10. That is true love.

“What a [girl] desires is unfailing love.” Proverbs 19:22

“Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:7-8

May I pray?

Father God, we cannot truly understand Your unfailing love–a love so fully complete that You can never love us more or less based on what we do, good or bad. You love us to the maximum, and You always have. Even though we can’t grasp this love, help us to accept it like a gift. And Lord, please touch those who are hurt with a loving tenderness that heals their heart wounds. May Your love renew our souls like the warm sun after a cold rain. Amen.

Q4U: What is true love?

Running on Empty

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Have you ever wished you could just run away? I have. Sometimes I want to run away from something. Sometimes I feel the need to get away to something different. Sometimes I want to run ahead, because surely there’s supposed to be more to life than what I see today. Even as an adult I’ve had longings for younger days with less real world pressure and responsibility. Of course, when I was younger I didn’t see it that way.

What if we could go back and do things differently then based on what we know now? If only.

Life is hard. Responsibilities are heavy. Work. School. Kids. Bills. Health issues. Family issues. Trying to keep up with basics of groceries, laundry and house chores on top of everything else. Where’s the joy and laughter in any of that? We’ve poured out all we have into other people and other things. And there’s nothing left.

We’re running on empty. The fumes of hope are dissipating.

This isn’t what we signed up for. This isn’t what we expected. And now we want to be released. We want a break. We try to escape. Our head is barely above water and the waves of life keep crashing down.

We need help. Where is God?

Is He sitting on His throne beyond the galaxies, so far removed from our reality that He can’t see it? Has He forgotten us? Are we too messed up to ever find new life?

The answer to all of these is: No.

We may not see God, but He sees us. We may not hear God, but He hears us. We may not seek or pursue God, but He seeks and pursues us. We may not know God, but He knows us.

He knows everything about us. Where we’ve been. What we’ve done. Where we are now. What choices we’re going to make. He knows how our story started, how our story ends, and everything in between. He knows every intimate detail about us–including things that we don’t even understand about ourselves. And He loves us anyway.

He loves us because of who we are. Not despite it.

God created us with purpose in mind. He designed us with our specific appearance. The things that we think are flaws, He sees as unique marks that make us special. He placed certain preferences and desires in our heart. He gave us challenges in life when we could have turned to Him and been strengthened and saved. But many of us, including me, turned away from Him instead. Sometimes intentionally. And sometimes because we didn’t know any other way.

Still, God has never given up on us. And He never will.

God isn’t expecting us to be perfect. After all, He’s the one who made us human. What God does want is for us to ask Him to be a part of our life. To turn to Him. To accept Him as the only one who can truly fill our emptiness. To get to know Him intimately. To trust Him and believe that He will save us. To love Him the way that He first loved us.

God continually calls us. He gives us opportunities to stand with and for Him. He’s ready to pour into us with strength and hope. He sent His Son to show us the way home. And He wants us to know that Jesus didn’t come to burden us with religion and rules. He came to set us free.

The choice is ours. Jesus says, “Come to Me.” There’s no elaborate ritual that has to happen. All we have to do is to let go of whatever keeps us from running to Him.

Lay down your burdens. Lay down your fears. Run to Jesus. And find rest as He fills your tank to overflowing.

“‘Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.’” Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

May I pray?

Dear Jesus, many of us feel tired and overwhelmed. We try to escape in this or that, but ultimately nothing fills the emptiness. Nothing changes where we are. Lord, please take our burdens from us. I boldly pray, whatever keeps us from You, please take it away. By force if necessary. Bring us to our knees so that we’ll surrender all and reach out for You with open arms. And may we rise again in Your strength and purpose. Amen.

Q4U: What keeps you from running to Jesus today?

Can You Hear Me Now?–Talking To God

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Do you remember those TV commercials for the wireless phone company where the guy would be in all kinds of crazy places as he tested the connection by asking, “Can you hear me now?” The idea was that no matter where you were, you’d be able to get through and have a conversation with the person on the other end.

Many of us wonder if our connection with God is working. We’re told that we can pray anywhere and God will hear. We’re told that if God hears He’ll answer. But maybe there’s a bad connection in our prayer line, or no connection at all. Are our prayers getting through? We don’t get an answer even though we’re talking to God.

Of course, conversations generally mean that we talk and then we wait and listen to the response of the other person.

I’ve had times of prayer that are like a one-sided phone conversation. They go something like this:

“Hi, God. How are You? Thank you for this day and for the sunshine. I have a lot to do today and I could really use Your help. I have to get this project done. And do this errand. And remember to call Amy. And then get to this meeting. And that doesn’t leave a lot of time for working out, so I guess I’ll have to do that tomorrow. I need to call Joanne––please be with her today as she waits for the response. And please be with Darla too as she struggles. Thank you that You’re in control. Please help me to understand what You want me to do with that big issue we keep talking about. Okay, love You. Thank you again. Amen.”

Click. I hang up the phone.

Can you imagine if someone called us and spewed that whole litany of a “conversation” and then hung up before we could even say, “I’m fine, thanks for asking”? We’d be looking at the phone and thinking, “What was that?”

This seems preposterous. And yes, it’s a bit exaggerated. But how does God feel when we “go to Him in prayer”? Do we quickly run through our list of wants and needs, wrap up by asking for His blessing, and then head off to our agenda for the day? Do we even give God a chance to speak? We know that one of the primary ways God speaks to us today is through His Word. Do we go to His Word, meditate on Scripture, and wait in prayer? Do we ever ask God what He wants?

And even though we may be consumed with our problems and needs throughout the day, do we think of God again until it’s time to say a prayer at dinner or bedtime? God wants to talk to us. He wants to have continual conversation with us. But most of us view prayer as dialing into a request line.

How many conversations (phone, text or email) do we have with other people during any given day? A lot. How many do we have with God? Not many. Shouldn’t we at least check in with Him a few times during the day? And I will admit that I’ve been in the middle of a “conversation” with God when my phone rang. I actually stopped my prayer to answer the phone, and then proceeded to have a twenty minute conversation, that really was a two-sided conversation, with someone else. How does that make God feel? How would it make us feel if we were on the other line waiting for someone special to come back and talk to us? And what if they never did?

God wants us to bring our requests to Him in prayer. And He will answer every one of them in His way and His timing. But what He wants more than anything is our time and attention. He wants us to come and sit with Him. To have an actual conversation where we’re listening just as much, or even more, than we’re talking. You’re special to God. Come back and talk to Him today. Let Him be a part of your life.

“The Lord has told us what is good. What He requires of us is this: to do what is just, to show constant love, and to live in humble fellowship with our God.” Micah 6:8 (GNT)

May I pray?

God, we’re not always sure that our prayers are getting to You. Your thoughts and Your ways are so far beyond our own that we don’t see how You’re working behind the scenes to answer prayers. And many times we ask for a specific outcome, and we don’t get what we want because Your answer is “no”, or “not yet”. I praise You, Jesus, because You do answer prayer. Help us to start seeing our prayer time with You not as a chance to run through our list, but as special time with a trusted and loving friend. Help us to listen more and talk less, and truly get to know You like never before. Amen.

Q4U: What is something you do in your prayer time with God that makes it “special” time with Him?

Rebel, The Black Sheep

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What do people think of you? That’s a hard question to answer. Different people know us in different ways. Some know us from the past, and continue to view us in light of what we used to do or how we used to act. Some know us today by the masks we wear to cover up the real us. Family knows history. Close friends know intimate details. And colleagues base their opinion of us on our work performance.

What happens when people view us in a particular way because they don’t know who we really are?

Yesterday we talked about shepherds and their sheep. Today I want us to zero in on one particular kind of sheep–the black sheep. We joke about there being one person in each family that’s the “black sheep” of the group. The one that doesn’t quite fit in. The one that does things their own way. The one that rebels and goes off into the wilderness in search of something better. We’ll call her Rebel. I have a soft spot in my heart for Rebel, the black sheep. Because that’s who I used to be. And that’s who many of us still feel like.

Not all of us chose to be Rebel. It just happened. Others started calling us that. They saw us as Rebel because we weren’t like them. We made some bad choices and they slapped a label on. And as the flock shied away from us because of our label, we went into survival mode. If we were going to be known as Rebel, then we’d give them what they wanted. So we grew into our thick black wool.

It was fun at first. Living on the edge. Carefree and reckless. A little danger in the mix.

But as time wore on, the luster wore off.

It’s draining being Rebel. Nothing comes easy for very long. Everything has a price. Wolves are constantly on the prowl around us. And it’s lonely in the wilderness. Sometimes we curl up and long for a flock and shepherd. We continue in survival mode, but our hope for the safety of lush green pastures fades away. And the other black sheep we encounter are in it for themselves.

This isn’t where we thought we’d be. Our life says we’re Rebel, the black sheep. Yes, it started by us getting into character. But now that character has taken over and we don’t know how to get out. This isn’t who we really are.

Deep down, we’re just like all the other sheep. We want to laugh and love. We want to belong to a flock. Any flock. We get hurt and long for someone to help us. We’re weary. We feel empty.

We’re lost.

But there’s good news. We do have a Shepherd, and He’s calling us. He has come to rescue us. No matter where we’ve been. No matter how long we’ve been lost. There’s no condemnation. Only rejoicing as we run into His arms.

Our Shepherd is Jesus. He’s here. Don’t be afraid. He loves you and He’s ready to carry you home.

“‘Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one. Wouldn’t you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Celebrate with me! I’ve found my lost sheep!’ Count on it–there’s more joy in heaven over one sinner’s rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue.’” Luke 15:4-7 (MSG)

May I pray?

Lord, we want to come home. But some of us don’t know where home is. We’re lost. We’ve been running for so long. We’re tired and scared and alone. Jesus, You say that if we come near to You, You will come near to us. We’re taking that first step now by praying to You. Please rescue us. May we feel Your presence today like never before. Amen.

Q4U: What is something that people have labeled you that isn’t a true reflection of who you really are?

Broken Leg Syndrome–Running from God

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What’s the oddest job you or someone you know has on their resume? I’ve been rather mainstream in my work experience since my oddest jobs were camp counselor for autistic children and veterinarian assistant. Although I did muck stalls at a stable one summer in exchange for lessons. I love the smell of the barn to this day! Seriously.

There are some truly bizarre jobs out there–like dog food tester and worm picker. I won’t be applying for those anytime soon. And there are jobs that we don’t think about much in our culture. Like a shepherd. When was the last time you ran into someone who herded sheep on foot for the summer?

My friend did some research on shepherding and found out that modern day shepherds still do things the old fashioned way. They live with their sheep in the hills and valleys 24 hours a day. A shepherd carries the young sheep on his shoulders so that the babies get accustomed to being with him. By doing this the sheep learn that he’s there to protect them. And each shepherd has a specific call for his sheep. At night, two shepherds will bring their separate flocks together in one pen or cave for protection. The sheep co-mingle and hang out in a little late night flock party. But in the morning, one shepherd calls his sheep and moves out, and only his sheep follow him. They know his voice and off they go behind him. The other shepherd’s sheep stay put.

Without a shepherd, sheep are in deep doo doo. They’re not so smart and they’re very flighty. If they’re frightened, they run. Sometimes off a cliff. If they fall, they can’t get up and they’ll starve to death or be sitting ducks (so to speak) for wolves. When food runs out, they continue grazing the same barren land eating dirt–they don’t know to move to another pasture. So the shepherd is constantly counting his sheep to make sure they’re all there. He checks their health and leads them to green pastures. And when one is missing, he leaves the flock and goes after the one. He knows that one sheep by itself won’t last very long out in the world.

And here’s what’s fascinating. If a sheep continues to run away from the shepherd and the flock, the shepherd will break its leg. Not because he wants to hurt the sheep. But because he wants the sheep to learn to stay with him. So while the sheep heals from its broken leg, the shepherd carries it on his shoulders. He feeds it, waters it, speaks to it. Out of love, the shepherd prevents the sheep from wandering by forcing brokenness. And because of that brokenness, the sheep then experiences the love and protection of its shepherd. It learns the sounds and ways of his shepherd like never before as it rides on his shoulders, and heals.

Our Shepherd, Jesus, does the same for us.

Many times we’re shocked by unbearable circumstances that break us. We wonder how God, if He was loving, could allow us to go through such pain. We cry to Him and plead with Him and seek answers. And yet the reality is that if it weren’t for the pain, we’d still be running. We wouldn’t be giving God a second thought. We’d be heading for the cliff or scrounging for nourishment in barren land or running among wolves. So God “breaks” us. He wants us to stay with Him. He wants us to learn His voice. He wants us to trust His protection and know that He is constantly on guard for us. He wants us to let Him carry us on His shoulders while we heal. Then we’ll know that when we’re frightened, hurt, or feeling like our land is too barren, running from God is not the answer. Running to Him is.

Have you been running from God? Do you feel alone? Do you wonder if God knows where you are, or even cares? Make no mistake–He’s calling you. Right now.

Do you feel disconnected? Do you long for true purpose in life, knowing there must be something more to life than the basic existence you have now? What if that longing you feel is God’s call to you? You hear Him. His voice resonates in your spirit. You just don’t recognize His voice.

Jesus is the Good Shepherd who lays His life down for His sheep. We’re His sheep. He calls us. He knows us by name. He wants us to know His voice. He wants us to know Him.

It’s time to stop running. Go to God. Learn His voice. Hear His call. Trust His love. Live under His protection. Heal from the past, and follow Him to greener pastures.

No more broken legs.

“If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.” Matthew 18:12-14

May I pray?

Heavenly Father, thank you for our broken legs. It seems odd to say, but Lord I praise You for doing whatever it takes to stop us from running from You. Forgive us for our flighty sheep ways. Help us to know Your voice. Hold us close as we heal. Teach us to follow You. And give us the courage to turn around and run to You instead of running away. Amen.

Q4U: What’s the oddest job you or someone you know has on their resume?

Fishing v. Phishing – Dangers of Gossip

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Not all girls are outdoorsy types, but have you ever had an outdoor experience that made you feel like one with nature? Like you were a part of what was happening in the serene world that others may never see? I had an experience like that a few years ago when I went salmon fishing in Upstate New York. The fall foliage glowed in ribbons of crimson and gold. Each morning we waded out to the middle of the river as soon as the sun began to rise above the trees. Bird calls and rushing water were nature’s symphony playing encore after encore. And occasionally there’d be an off-beat thump as someone cast for new positioning of their line.

Standing waist-deep in the water, feeling the warmth of the sun overpowering the cold air and snowflakes, hearing only the peaceful rhythm of nature–it was like nothing I had ever imagined. For a brief time, we were an integral part of that mysterious world. And then chaos cut in. A fish would bite, the fight between beast and angler ensued, and everyone cheered as the fisherman (or fishergirl) wrestled with reel and line to land the monster fish before it broke free. It was bittersweet. Yes, the salmon were on their way upstream to spawn and then die. But we were interceding in the process to the detriment of the fish we admired.

There’s another kind of phishing that can hurt people we like and admire.

I don’t mean phishing where we try to get someone’s online passwords or credit card info. I’m suggesting that a lot of us go phishing for personal details about close friends and colleagues that we then feed to others as gossip.

Whether we get the insider information because we’re a trusted friend or because we’re the only one around to listen, we learn juicy tidbits that are too good to keep to ourselves.

Even if we’ve agreed not to tell, we decide it’s still okay to share a few details with one or two people. But then they tell two friends. And so on, and so on.

Sometimes we’re asking others to pray for that person. Sometimes we’re telling friends what’s happening so they’re in the know. Sometimes we’re laughing about it with other people behind the back of the one who’s struggling.

There’s a fine line between pertinent information others need to know and gossip.

Gossip hurts people. It hurts their reputation. It divulges personal information that isn’t common knowledge, and shouldn’t be. It causes rifts when someone finds out something they weren’t meant to know.

Gossip hurts friendships. It betrays trust. It wounds those we care about. It makes our friend vulnerable, because others know too much about their personal situation.

Gossip can’t be retrieved. Once it’s out of our mouths, it’s out of our control.

Even if we aren’t malicious in our sharing of someone’s personal details, it can have the same effect as dirty gossip. Have you heard the saying, “Loose lips sink ships”? I don’t know where it originated, but it confirms that I don’t want to be on the gossip boat. So let’s honor our friends and be deserving of their trust. Let’s think about what they would tell others, and what they wouldn’t, and respect their boundaries. Let’s protect their privacy and their reputation by limiting what we share with others, even in prayer requests. God knows everything about their situation. Other people don’t need to.

Here’s the litmus test: If we wouldn’t share the details of someone’s situation if they were standing next to us, then we shouldn’t share the details at all.

“Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships.” Proverbs 16:28 (MSG)

May I pray?

Jesus, we know gossiping about others is wrong, and sometimes we don’t realize that’s just what we’re doing until it’s too late. Help us to think before we speak. Help us to carefully weigh the potential hurt we could cause, and how our friend would feel if they knew we had shared the details of their situation. May we honor others in what we say, and what we don’t say. May we be the kind of trustworthy friends that we wish others would be for us. Amen.

Q4U: What helps you decide whether or not to share personal details about someone else?

Into Darkness Shines the Light of Hope

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Do you know anyone who’s been in the dark pits of life? Maybe it was you. Maybe the pit was more like an abyss where the silence of isolation was deafening and the terror was real. Some of us have endured unspeakable acts. Some of us have made bad decisions with dark consequences that can never be undone. Some of us are pushed into the depths of despair because of the decisions of someone else. The darkness is overpowering. The aloneness is unbearable. Fear rips us to shreds. We cry out for help. But no one answers.

Sadly, there are people we know who are in this place now. And we aren’t even aware of it.

Today, my thoughts and prayers are with those trapped in the depths of fear and despair. I also lift up people around the world that most of us don’t know about or rarely consider. People unjustly imprisoned and even enslaved. Young girls sold into slavery by their family for money. Young women abducted from their home country and forced into a life of prostitution across the border. People kidnapped and held for ransom or bribes. Men and women brutalized for their faith. People imprisoned in foreign countries in dangerous and squalid conditions we can’t begin to fathom. And the families left behind wondering what happened to their loved ones.

Whether here or abroad, so many people find themselves in the dark pits of real life. It’s hard to comprehend the overwhelming sense of helplessness and hopelessness in that place. Exhaustion sets in as night after night the same decision has to be made: give up or go on for one more day.

But always, if we lift our eyes to God, He will shine His light of hope into the depths of our real life.

“God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.’” Hebrews 13:5-6

God made a promise to us. To you and to me. He will never leave us. Ever. It may be hard to believe that God is in the dark places. But sometimes it takes darkness for us to see His light. He is there.

“The thought of my pain, my homelessness, is bitter poison. I think of it constantly, and my spirit is depressed. Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continue, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. The Lord is all I have, and so in Him I put my hope.” Lamentations 3:19-24 (GNT)

If we hope in the Lord, He will redeem our brokenness for glory. He alone has the power to save. We don’t understand the evil in our world, but God’s will transcends every evil scheme. He proved it. Out of the excruciating torment of Jesus’ death on the cross, God revealed His ultimate plan for our reconciliation through the resurrection of Christ.

Good triumphs over evil.

We may not see God working in our dark places, but He is with us. Cry out to Him. Listen for His whisper of hope. Pray and plead His promises back to Him. As we wait for Him and cling to our hope in Him, He will work through us in the darkness. And the light of Jesus within us will be a beacon for others in that place.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills–where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

May I pray?

Almighty God, You are the God of hope. You alone are mighty to save. Father, please reach into the dark places and comfort those who are trapped in the depths of fear and despair. Let them feel Your presence in a powerful way today. Fill them with Your hope and Your light. Strengthen them with Your peace as they trust in You. And Lord, please break the chains of bondage that unjustly imprison. You know the names of those I’m praying for. Amen.

Q4U: What is one situation where you have seen good triumph over evil?

Fairytales and Fables

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What’s your favorite fairytale? Cinderella and Snow White are classics, with the outcast young girl being noticed and then rescued by the handsome young prince. And of course they live happily ever after. What’s not to love? We secretly (or not-so-secretly) wish that was our story. Then there’s the Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and a host of others that help us believe that no matter what happens, we can find true love and happiness in the end.

Did you read any fables when you were young? They’re those short stories with a moral at the end, like Aesop’s Fables. One of the most famous is The Tortoise and The Hare. The slow turtle and the quick rabbit run a race and there’s no doubt who’ll win. But the rabbit is cocky, and the turtle knows it. Rabbit dashes from the starting line, but then decides to eat a tasty breakfast and take an afternoon snooze, believing he’ll still zip to the finish line in first place. And in the end the slow turtle who plods along methodically takes the prize. The moral? Slow and steady wins the race.

Most of us remember fairytales and fables of the past. They make us feel good. We learn a lesson about treating others with respect, being patient, or staying the course even when the odds are against us. We leave wanting that “happily ever after”. We wish for the ultimate prize of being a princess, being famous, being a success, being rich, being with someone who truly loves and adores us. Being anywhere but where we are.

We love to escape in fairytales and fables. But they’re just stories. Right?

Real life for most of us isn’t a fairytale. Our Cinderella or Annie story never quite leaves the scenes when we’re wearing old clothes or working hard under someone’s glare. And the prince on the big white horse apparently got lost on his way to our house because he never showed up. Not quite the life those feel-good stories are made of.

But we do have a story to tell.

Each one of us. And our story is important. Because even if our circumstances today aren’t what we thought they’d be, we’ve had moments of triumph along the way. We’ve won a battle or two against the odds. We’ve loved and helped others. We’ve stayed the course even when nay-sayers said we should give up or give in. We may not ever have the fairytale happy ending we wished for in this life, but we are daughters of the King. And that can never be taken away from us.

As we continue on our journey through life, let’s think about an old African Proverb which says: If you want to go faster, go alone. If you want to go farther, go together.

Life is not about getting to the end as fast as we can, and then not having anyone to share the victory with. Life is about walking the journey together as we climb the highest peaks and trudge through the deepest pits. Bonds of sisterhood are forged as we help each other stay on course. We’ll laugh and love along the way, and together we’ll go farther than we ever imagined possible.

And prince charming? He may or may not be real for us. Most of us will never have that handsome young man whisk us off our feet and take us on his white steed to a castle on the hill. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be someone who will love and cherish us for who we are. Someone who’s willing to go through real life battles with us. Someone who will stand by our side even when things aren’t so happy. There’s one thing that’s certain: Love may be found on the mountaintop, but true love and friendship are sealed in the bunkers of life.

Never doubt, we can live happily ever after. It just may not be in a fairytale kind of way.

“May the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.” Psalm 68:3

May I pray?

Lord, many of us wish for a fairytale happily ever after. Some of us wish we could have the fairytale even just for a year or two. Father, even in the trials of real life when things seem dark and lonely, help us never to forget that we are Your daughters. You’ve given us an inheritance in heaven that can never be taken away. And You want more than anything for us to come to You and find peace and comfort in Your arms. May we run to You today. Amen.

Q4U: What’s your favorite fairytale or fable, and why?

Is Failure Another Broken Dream?

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Would you categorize your life as a success or failure? That’s a hard question. Most of us don’t necessarily think of our life as being successful because we know the truth of where we’ve been and where we are. And life hasn’t quite turned out the way we thought it would. But to say we’re a failure is self-defeating.

Our culture is all about success. Looking good. Feeling good. Having lots of stuff. Influencing others. Having a good job and the perfect little family. That’s success. Right?

It depends on your definition of success. And if you peel back the façade of people who have many of those things, their real lives are anything but successful.

We have to stop measuring our life against what culture says is successful. Instead, we should look at where we are today, where we want to be, and then begin thinking about what we need to change.

And we can’t sell ourselves short.

We may not be where we want to be, or where we thought we’d be at this point in our life. But many of us have come so far from the dark paths we once wandered. We should celebrate the small victories of getting off those old roads and getting on this path leading to new life. And for those of us still heading down the river of destruction, today is the day to jump ship and swim to a new shore. It’s not too late!

But what if?

If we decide to start down a new path, what if we continue to make mistakes? What if it’s hard to turn things around? What if we lose friends and family because of the new direction we want to go? What if we fail?

Here’s the easy answer: Yes. We will continue to make mistakes. It will be hard. We’ll lose friends and maybe even family because we no longer want to do the things we used to. It won’t be smooth sailing and there will be times that we feel like we’ve failed.

But failure is not another broken dream. Failure is a stepping stone to get to our dreams. And we get stronger each time we slip off and get back up again.

We may not want to learn by making mistakes. We may wish we could flip a switch or jump on the right bandwagon headed toward success. But nothing worth anything comes easy. And a successful life is not characterized by what we own. It’s characterized by how we’ve loved, how we’ve changed and grown, and how we’ve given to others.

For some of us, we may have been on a good path, but life as we knew it was destroyed by the decisions of someone else. We thought we had a wonderful life. And now we sit among the shattered pieces of our broken dreams. Devastated and bewildered. What happened? How did it come to this? What else could we have done?

If you’re in this place today, please know that you’re not alone. I sat there too, not long ago.

I was a Christian leader and my husband left me without giving a reason. After everything I had already endured in my real life, I thought it was the end. I couldn’t bear the shame of abandonment and another divorce. I thought my life could never be used again for any good purpose. I lost all hope. My life was a failure.

But shard by shard God took the broken pieces of my shattered life and put them together in a new mosaic. I couldn’t see the big picture of what He was creating. I knew He couldn’t repair the life I had. And He wasn’t trying to. Instead He was making a whole new picture. One far more beautiful than the one before as His light shines through it. My new life is completely for His glory, and I can’t take any credit for it.

God can do the same for you.

No matter where you’ve been or where you are. You are not a failure. And God can take the pieces of your life and make them into a new masterpiece far more beautiful than anything you could have created yourself. Go to Him. And put your life in His mighty hands.

“Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light.” Micah 7:8

 May I pray?

God, by the world’s standards it seems like we have many more failures than successes. Thank you that Your standards for success are so different. Help us, Lord, to see our failures as stepping stones to something new. Give us the strength we need to get back up and keep going when we fall. And Father, I pray that You wrap Your arms around those who feel like their life has been shattered beyond repair. Hold them tight and speak to them. Let them know that You can redeem their life and make it beautiful. Amen.

Q4U: Looking back, is there something that used to look like a failure but was actually a stepping stone to your dreams?