I was born the youngest of 6 in Dallas, TX to Dalia Carbajal. Dalia was an alcoholic and I was taken away along with my other 5 siblings. I don’t know my dad. I tried to live with an aunt and uncle from 2-4 years old. That wasn’t very good because my uncle sexually abused me and nothing was ever done about it. When I was 4 years old, my mom let me go with who she said were my “godparents” for a birthday trip to Nebraska. They never went home and my mom never came to get me. So I ended up in Nebreska for good.
From there I bounced around from foster home to foster home. Then at age 8 I got adopted. I was as excited as I could be at that age because I was going have a good home where I knew what being loved felt like. But it was nothing I expected. My adopted mom (Deb) abused me physically, emotionally, mentally, and verbally for the next 8 years. I hated coming home every day. I felt trapped because Deb was a high school teacher at the school I went to and I couldn’t escape her. She knew everything. And the abuse was investigated by the authorities three times and all three times nothing happened. When I got into teenage years I started acting out and my behavior got so bad that Deb felt she couldn’t handle me, so I was sent to group home after group home.
While in one of the group homes when I was 16 years old, Deb came to tell me she had relinquished her parental rights. That was a good thing because I wasn’t going to have to worry about being abused anymore. But at the same time it was confusing to me because I really didn’t know what relinquishment meant. The confusion and hurt caused me to push people away and sabotage relationships.
At the age of 18 after successfully graduating a group home in Kearney, NE I moved into a transitional independent living program. I’m forever grateful for that, because I learned basic living skills and how to get a job and keep a job. I was still in high school while living on my own and working. Deb said I would never be able to graduate from high school because I was too stupid, which I now know through God and His Word isn’t true. And I did graduate high school.
Before graduating, I accepted Christ into my life as my personal Savior and ever since then my life has changed. Life is a lot easier. I mean, I still have struggles but it’s much easier to go through the struggles because of God. And I’ve found forgiveness for my mom, uncle and adopted mom, but I only found forgiveness through God. We cannot do anything, especially forgive, on our own. And if we try it will not be good. So if anyone has hurt you, go to God and forgive them so you will be forgiven. In the Bible it says we will not be forgiven if we don’t forgive, and I know I want to be forgiven because I’m messed up. And when it comes down to it, I’m not worthy of God. I deserve hell but instead God invests in me daily and I’m finding the more I walk in Him and the more I walk in His truth, the more freedom I experience. It’s amazing. God is amazing.
“If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14
May I pray?
Father God, thank You for Angela and her courage to tell her story. Thank You for the way You’re working in her heart as You bring her to a place of new life and hope in You. I lift up all of the young women who are struggling with the confusion, emotion and pain of abuse and abandonment. May they know they are never alone, for You are always with them. And may they know that they do not have so stay in an abusive situation. Please show them someone in their life who will come alongside them and help them walk out of the darkness into Your light. Amen.
Q4U: Do you have a Rising Above Real Life story? You can encourage others by sharing your journey. Please contact me at Joy@RisingAboveRealLife.com. Names can remain confidential.