Do you ever have one of those cravings where nothing will satisfy you until you get specifically what you’re craving? I do. I crave dark chocolate. My love of this decadent (and nutritious) dessert is no secret. But many times I try to fend off my cravings and not give in. So I’ll graze through the pantry sampling dried fruit, crackers, cereal and everything else that’s snackable. Until I end up back at the dark chocolate. And then I cave in. Truthfully the dark chocolate would have tasted better without the pantry appetizers.
I view dark chocolate as an anti-oxidant vitamin. So being health conscious, I’m always on the lookout for a free sample. If it’s nearby, I’ll find it.
At a women’s conference earlier this year, there was a booth with some beautifully wrapped dark chocolate. Who can resist? (I’d like to note that since I wasn’t buying anything, I only took one piece). I opened the wrapper and was surprised to see a message printed on the inside:
“Be your own best friend.”
How odd. At a conference designed to develop new friendships, my candy wrapper was telling me not to let anyone get too close. I shouldn’t reveal my “real” issues. I can’t trust others. I shouldn’t impose on someone else. I should keep the really important things–all of my secrets, fears, regrets, hopes, dreams–to myself.
Immediately my mind went back to age 13, just after my dad died. I recited the poem I composed then:
My best friend is me.
I do what I want and so does she.
If I walk in darkness, she has a guiding light.
She walks with me and tells me to come over for the night.
My best friend is me.
Is yours you?
At age 13 I subscribed to the world’s view that we can’t trust anyone but ourselves. We shouldn’t rely on or bother others. We can do just fine on our own. This self-sufficiency was so ingrained in me that I still remember my poem decades later.
What do I think of the world view now? About being our own best friend, and not bothering or trusting others because they don’t really understand, or wouldn’t, or couldn’t?
The world has been lying to us! We’ve been lying to ourselves! We’re not fine on our own!
Don’t believe the lies! We can’t keep going through life stuffing our “real” issues into the dark chambers of our heart. We’re either going to explode or suffocate.
We were made to share life together. Even if we haven’t been part of a loving sisterhood in the past, we can start to experience it now.
This is where we have to rise above real life. We can rise above where we’ve been and catch a glimpse of where we can go. There are girls out there who want and need our open and honest friendship just as much as we want and need theirs. So let’s stop giving license to the lies by getting out of isolation. Let’s reach out and begin to love others where they are and for who they are. And let’s open up so we can be loved by them.
Loving and being loved, regardless of the details. This is sisterhood. And by definition, sisterhood involves others. We can’t be our own best sister.
“Be devoted to one another in [sisterly] love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10
May I pray?
Heavenly Father, it’s hard to love and trust other people when our experiences in the past haven’t been good. But Lord, no matter what kind of barriers we use to protect our heart, deep down we need close friends. Today, may we reach out to someone else to show them the love of sisterhood, knowing that You never intended for us to be our own best friend. Help us to start growing new friendships. Help us to come to You and get to know You like never before. Amen.
Q4U: What is a tangible way that we can reach out to someone today to show them the love of sisterhood, even if we don’t know them well, or know them at all?
I’ve been a victim of that same thinking. It left me alone and depressed. God wants to bless us with deep true friendships if we will only dare to let it happen. I opened up to a few awesome ladies and my life has been forever changed for the better.